《屋顶间的哲学家》查看《屋顶间的哲学家》书评和最新更新以及相关书籍推荐请到《屋顶间的哲学家》专题网址http://www.xiaoshuotxt.com/waiwen/487/ 
TXT小说天堂  http://www.xiaoshuotxt.com，最有文艺气息的文学网站，提供经典的文学名著、武侠小说、言情小说、人文社科类书籍在线阅读，所有TXT电子书手机免费下载阅读，我们提供给您的小说不求最多，但求最经典最完整



 Preface

    emilesouvestre

    noonesucceedsinobtainingaprominentplaceinliterature,orinsurroundinghimselfwithafaithfulandsteadycircleofadmirersdrawnfromtheficklemassesofthepublic,unlesshepossessesoriginality,constantvariety,andadistinctpersonality.itisquitepossibletogainforamomentafewreadersbyimitatingsomeoriginalfeatureinanother;butthesesoonvanishandthewriterremainsaloneandforgotten.others,again,withoutbelongingtoanydistinctgroupofauthors,havingfoundtheirstandardinthemselves,moralistsandeducatorsatthesametime,haveobtainedundyingrecognition.

    ofthelatterclass,thoughlittleknownoutsideoffrance,isemilesouvestre,whowasborninmorlaix,april15,1806,anddiedatparisjuly5,1854.hewasthesonofacivilengineer,waseducatedatthecollegeofpontivy,andintendedtofollowhisfatherscareerbyenteringthepolytechnicschool.hisfather,however,diedin1823,andsouvestrematriculatedasalaw-studentatrennes.buttheyoungstudentsoondevotedhimselfentirelytoliterature.hisfirstessay,atragedy,lesiegedemissolonghi(1828),wasapronouncedfailure.disheartenedanddisgustedheleftparisandestablishedhimselffirstasalawyerinmorlaix.thenhebecameproprietorofanewspaper,andwasafterwardappointedaprofessorinbrestandinmulhouse.in1836hecontributedtotherevuedesdeuxmondessomesketchesoflifeinbrittany,whichobtainedabrilliantsuccess.souvestrewassoonmadeeditoroflarevuedeparis,andinconsequenceearlyfoundapublisherforhisfirstnovel,lechelledefemmes,which,aswasthecasewithhissecondwork,richeetpauvre,metwithaveryfavorablereception.hisreputationwasnowmade,andbetweenthisperiodandhisdeathhegavetofranceaboutsixtyvolumes——tales,novels,essays,history,anddrama.

    adoublepurposewasalwaysveryconspicuousinhisbooks:heaspiredtotheroleofamoralistandeducator,andwaslikewiseamostimpressivepainterofthelife,character,andmoralsoftheinhabitantsofbrittany.

    themostsignificantofhisbooksareperhapslesderniersbretons(1835-1837,4vols.),pierrelandais(1843,2vols.),lefoyerbreton(1844,2vols.),unphilosophesonslestoits,crownedbytheacademy(1850),confessionsdunouvrier(1851),recitsetsouvenirs(1853),souvenirsdunvieillard(1854);alsolabretagnepittoresque(1845),and,finally,causerieshistoriquesetlitteraires(1854,2vols.).hiscomediesdeservehonorablemention:henrihamelin,lonclebaptiste(1842),laparisienne,lemousse,etc.in1848,souvestrewasappointedprofessorofthenewlycreatedschoolofadministration,mostlydevotedtopopularlectures.heheldthisposttill1853,lecturingpartlyinparis,partlyinswitzerland.

    hisdeath,whencomparativelyyoung,leftadistinctgapintheliteraryworld.alifelikehiscouldnotbeextinguishedwithoutgeneralsorrow.

    althoughhewasundulymodest,andneveraspiredtotheroleofabeacon-lightinliterature,alwaysseekingtoremaininobscurity,theworksofemilesouvestremustbeplacedinthefirstrankbytheirmoralityandbytheirinstructivecharacter.theywillalwayscommandtheentirerespectandapplauseofmankind.andthusithappensthat,likemanyothers,hewasonlyfullyappreciatedafterhisdeath.

    eventhoseofhisconfrereswhodidnotseemtoesteemhim,whenalive,suddenlyfoundoutthattheyhadexperiencedagreatlossinhisdemise.

    theyexpresseditinemotionalpanegyrcs;contemporaneousliteraturediscoveredthatvirtuehadflownfromitsbosom,andthefrenchacademy,whichhadatitspropertimecrownedhisphilosophesonslestoitsasaworkcontributingsupremelytomorals,kepthismemorygreenbybestowingonhiswidowthe"prixlambert,"designedforthe"familiesofauthorswhobytheirintegrity,andbytheprobityoftheireffortshavewelldeservedthistokenfromtherepubliquedeslettres."

    josephbertrand



 CHAPTER I

    new-yearsgifts

    january1st

    thedayofthemonthcameintomymindassoonasiawoke.anotheryearisseparatedfromthechainofages,anddropsintothegulfofthepast!

    thecrowdhastentowelcomeheryoungsister.butwhilealllooksareturnedtowardthefuture,minereverttothepast.everyonesmilesuponthenewqueen;but,inspiteofmyself,ithinkofherwhomtimehasjustwrappedinherwinding-sheet.thepastyear!——atleastiknowwhatshewas,andwhatshehasgivenme;whilethisonecomessurroundedbyalltheforebodingsoftheunknown.whatdoes******einthecloudsthatmantleher?isitthestormorthesunshine?justnowitrains,andifeelmymindasgloomyasthesky.ihaveaholidaytoday;butwhatcanonedoonarainyday?iwalkupanddownmyatticoutoftemper,andideterminetolightmyfire.

    unfortunatelythematchesarebad,thechimneysmokes,thewoodgoesout!

    ithrowdownmybellowsindisgust,andsinkintomyoldarmchair.

    intruth,whyshouldirejoicetoseethebirthofanewyear?allthosewhoarealreadyinthestreets,withholidaylooksandsmilingfaces——dotheyunderstandwhatmakesthemsogay?dotheyevenknowwhatisthemeaningofthisholiday,orwhencecomesthecustomofnew-yearsgifts?

    heremymindpausestoprovetoitselfitssuperiorityoverthatofthevulgar.imakeaparenthesisinmyill-temperinfavorofmyvanity,andibringtogetheralltheevidencewhichmyknowledgecanproduce.

    (theoldromansdividedtheyearintotenmonthsonly;itwasnumapompiliuswhoaddedjanuaryandfebruary.theformertookitsnamefromjanus,towhomitwasdedicated.asitopenedthenewyear,theysurroundeditsbeginningwithgoodomens,andthencecamethecustomofvisitsbetweennei***ors,ofwishinghappiness,andofnew-yearsgifts.

    thepresentsgivenbytheromansweresymbolic.theyconsistedofdryfigs,dates,honeycomb,asemblemsof"thesweetnessoftheauspicesunderwhichtheyearshouldbeginitscourse,"andasmallpieceofmoneycalledstips,whichforebodedriches.)

    hereiclosetheparenthesis,andreturntomyill-humor.thelittlespeechihavejustaddressedtomyselfhasrestoredmemyself-satisfaction,butmadememoredissatisfiedwithothers.icouldnowenjoymybreakfast;buttheportresshasforgottenmymorningsmilk,andthepotofpreservesisempty!anyoneelsewouldhavebeenvexed:asforme,iaffectthemostsupremeindifference.thereremainsahardcrust,whichibreakbymainstrength,andwhichicarelesslynibble,asamanfarabovethevanitiesoftheworldandoffreshrolls.

    however,idonotknowwhymythoughtsshouldgrowmoregloomybyreasonofthedifficultiesofmastication.ioncereadthestoryofanenglishmanwhohangedhimselfbecausetheyhadbroughthimhisteawithoutsugar.therearehoursinlifewhenthemosttriflingcrosstakestheformofacalamity.ourtempersarelikeanopera-glass,whichmakestheobjectsmallorgreataccordingtotheendyoulookthrough.

    usually,theprospectthatopensoutbeforemywindowdelightsme.itisamountain-rangeofroofs,withridgescrossing,interlacing,andpiledononeanother,anduponwhichtallchimneysraisetheirpeaks.itwasbutyesterdaythattheyhadanalpineaspecttome,andiwaitedforthefirstsnowstormtoseeglaciersamongthem;to-day,ionlyseetilesandstoneflues.thepigeons,whichassistedmyruralillusions,seemnomorethanmiserablebirdswhichhavemistakentheroofforthebackyard;thesmoke,whichrisesinlightclouds,insteadofmakingmedreamofthepantingofvesuvius,remindsmeofkitchenpreparationsanddishwater;andlastly,thetelegraph,thatiseefaroffontheoldtowerofmontmartre,hastheeffectofavilegallowsstretchingitsarmsoverthecity.

    myeyes,thushurtbyalltheymeet,falluponthegreatmanshousewhichfacesmyattic.

    theinfluenceofnew-yearsdayisvisiblethere.theservantshaveanairofeagernessproportionedtothevalueoftheirnew-yearsgifts,receivedorexpected.iseethemasterofthehousecrossingthecourtwiththemoroselookofamanwhoisforcedtobegenerous;andthevisitorsincrease,followedbyshopporterswhocarryflowers,bandboxes,ortoys.suddenlythegreatgatesareopened,andanewcarriage,drawnbythorou***redhorses,drawsupbeforethedoorsteps.theyare,withoutdoubt,thenew-yearsgiftpresentedtothemistressofthehousebyherhusband;forshecomesherselftolookatthenewequipage.verysoonshegetsintoitwithalittlegirl,allstreamingwithlaces,feathersandvelvets,andloadedwithparcelswhichshegoestodistributeasnew-yearsgifts.thedoorisshut,thewindowsaredrawnup,thecarriagesetsoff.

    thusalltheworldareexchanginggoodwishesandpresentsto-day.ialonehavenothingtogiveortoreceive.poorsolitary!idonotevenknowonechosenbeingforwhomimightofferaprayer.

    thenletmywishesforahappynewyeargoandseekoutallmyunknownfriends——lostinthemultitudewhichmurmursliketheoceanatmyfeet!

    toyoufirst,hermitsincities,forwhomdeathandpovertyhavecreatedasolitudeinthemidstofthecrowd!unhappylaborers,whoarecondemnedtotoilinmelancholy,andeatyourdailybreadinsilenceanddesertion,andwhomgodhaswithdrawnfromtheintoxicatingpangsofloveandfriendship!

    toyou,fonddreamers,whopassthroughlifewithyoureyesturnedtowardsomepolarstar,whileyoutreadwithindifferenceovertherichharvestsofreality!

    toyou,honestfathers,wholengthenouttheeveningtomaintainyourfamilies!toyou,poorwidows,weepingandworkingbyacradle!toyou,youngmen,resolutelysettoopenforyourselvesapathinlife,largeenoughtoleadthroughitthewifeofyourchoice!toyou,allbravesoldiersofworkandofself-sacrifice!

    toyou,lastly,whateveryourtitleandyourname,wholovegood,whopitythesuffering;whowalkthroughtheworldlikethesymbolicalvirginofbyzantium,withbotharmsopentothehumanrace!

    hereiamsuddenlyinterruptedbyloudandincreasingchirpings.ilookaboutme:mywindowissurroundedwithsparrowspickingupthecrumbsofbreadwhichinmybrownstudyihadjustscatteredontheroof.atthissightaflashoflightbrokeuponmysaddenedheart.ideceivedmyselfjustnow,whenicomplainedthatihadnothingtogive:thankstome,thesparrowsofthispartofthetownwillhavetheirnew-yearsgifts!

    twelveoclock——aknockatmydoor;apoorgirlcomesin,andgreetsmebyname.atfirstidonotrecollecther;butshelooksatme,andsmiles.ah!itispaulette!butitisalmostayearsinceihaveseenher,andpauletteisnolongerthesame:theotherdayshewasachild,nowsheisalmostayoungwoman.

    pauletteisthin,pale,andmiserablyclad;butshehasalwaysthesameopenandstraightforwardlook——thesamemouth,smilingateveryword,asiftocourtyoursympathy——thesamevoice,somewhattimid,yetexpressingfondness.pauletteisnotpretty——sheiseventhoughtplain;asforme,ithinkhercharming.perhapsthatisnotonheraccount,butonmyown.

    pauletteappearstomeasoneofmyhappiestrecollections.

    itwastheeveningofapublicholiday.ourprincipalbuildingswereilluminatedwithfestoonsoffire,athousandflagswavedinthenightwinds,andthefireworkshadjustshotforththeirspoutsofflameintothemidstofthechampdemars.suddenly,oneofthoseunaccountablealarmswhichstrikeamultitudewithpanicfelluponthedensecrowd:

    theycryout,theyrushonheadlong;theweakeronesfall,andthefrightenedcrowdtramplesthemdowninitsconvulsivestruggles.iescapedfromtheconfusionbyamiracle,andwashasteningaway,whenthecriesofaperishingchildarrestedme:ireenteredthathumanchaos,and,afterunheard-ofexertions,ibroughtpauletteoutofitattheperilofmylife.

    thatwastwoyearsago:sincethenihadnotseenthechildagainbutatlongintervals,andihadalmostforgottenher;butpaulettesmemorywasthatofagratefulheart,andshecameatthebeginningoftheyeartooffermeherwishesformyhappiness.shebroughtme,besides,awallflowerinfullbloom;sheherselfhadplantedandrearedit:itwassomethingthatbelongedwhollytoherself;foritwasbyhercare,herperseverance,andherpatience,thatshehadobtainedit.

    thewallflowerhadgrowninacommonpot;butpaulette,whoisabandbox-maker,hadputitintoacaseofvarnishedpaper,ornamentedwitharabesques.thesemighthavebeeninbettertaste,butididnotfeeltheattentionandgood-willtheless.

    thisunexpectedpresent,thelittlegirlsmodestblushes,thecomplimentsshestammeredout,dispelled,asbyasunbeam,thekindofmistwhichhadgatheredroundmymind;mythoughtssuddenlychangedfromtheleadentintsofeveningtothebrightestcolorsofdawn.imadepaulettesitdown,andquestionedherwithalightheart.

    atfirstthelittlegirlrepliedinmonosyllables;butverysoonthetableswereturned,anditwasiwhointerruptedwithshortinterjectionsherlongandconfidentialtalk.thepoorchildleadsahardlife.shewasleftanorphanlongsince,withabrotherandsister,andliveswithanoldgrandmother,whohas"broughtthemuptopoverty,"asshealwayscallsit.

    however,paulettenowhelpshertomakebandboxes,herlittlesisterperrinebeginstousetheneedle,andherbrotherhenryisapprenticetoaprinter.allwouldgowellifitwerenotforlossesandwantofwork——ifitwerenotforclotheswhichwearout,forappetiteswhichgrowlarger,andforthewinter,whenyoucannotgetsunshinefornothing.

    paulettecomplainsthathercandlesgotooquickly,andthatherwoodcoststoomuch.thefireplaceintheirgarretissolargethatafagotmakesnomoreshowinitthanamatch;itissoneartheroofthatthewindblowstheraindownit,andinwinterithailsuponthehearth;sotheyhaveleftoffusingit.henceforththeymustbecontentwithanearthenchafing-dish,uponwhichtheycooktheirmeals.thegrandmotherhadoftenspokenofastovethatwasforsaleatthebrokerscloseby;butheaskedsevenfrancsforit,andthetimesaretoohardforsuchanexpense:thefamily,therefore,resignthemselvestocoldforeconomy!

    aspaulettespoke,ifeltmoreandmorethatiwaslosingmyfretfulnessandlowspirits.thefirstdisclosuresofthelittlebandbox-makercreatedwithinmeawishthatsoonbecameaplan.iquestionedheraboutherdailyoccupations,andsheinformedmethatonleavingmeshemustgo,withherbrother,hersister,andgrandmother,tothedifferentpeopleforwhomtheywork.myplanwasimmediatelysettled.itoldthechildthatiwouldgotoseeherintheevening,andisentherawaywithfreshthanks.

    iplacedthewallflowerintheopenwindow,wherearayofsunshinebiditwelcome;thebirdsweresingingaround,theskyhadclearedup,andtheday,whichbegansoloweringly,hadbecomebright.isangasimovedaboutmyroom,and,havinghastilyputonmyhatandcoat,iwentout.

    threeoclock——allissettledwithmynei***or,thechimney-doctor;hewillrepairmyoldstove,andanswersforitsbeingasgoodasnew.

    atfiveoclockwearetosetout,andputitupinpaulettesgrandmothersroom.

    midnight——allhasgoneoffwell.atthehouragreedupon,iwasattheoldbandbox-makers;shewasstillout.mypiedmontese[inparisachimney-sweeperisnamed"piedmontese"or"savoyard,"

    astheyusuallycomefromthatcountry.]fixedthestove,whileiarrangedadozenlogsinthegreatfireplace,takenfrommywinterstock.ishallmakeupforthembywarmingmyselfwithwalking,orbygoingtobedearlier.

    myheartbeatateverystepthatwasheardonthestaircase;itrembledlesttheyshouldinterruptmeinmypreparations,andshouldthusspoilmyintendedsurprise.butno!——seeeverythingready:thelightedstovemurmursgently,thelittlelampburnsuponthetable,andabottleofoilforitisprovidedontheshelf.thechimney-doctorisgone.nowmyfearlesttheyshouldcomeischangedintoimpatienceattheirnotcoming.atlastihearchildrensvoices;heretheyare:theypushopenthedoorandrushin——buttheyallstopinastonishment.

    atthesightofthelamp,thestove,andthevisitor,whostandstherelikeamagicianinthemidstofthesewonders,theydrawbackalmostfrightened.pauletteisthefirsttocomprehendit,andthearrivalofthegrandmother,whoismoreslowlymountingthestairs,finishestheexplanation.thencometears,ecstasies,thanks!

    butthewondersarenotyetended.thelittlesisteropenstheoven,anddiscoverssomechestnutsjustroasted;thegrandmotherputsherhandonthebottlesofciderarrangedonthedresser;andidrawforthfromthebasketthatihavehiddenacoldtongue,apotofbutter,andsomefreshrolls.

    nowtheirwonderturnsintoadmiration;thelittlefamilyhaveneverseensuchafeast!theylaythecloth,theysitdown,theyeat;itisacompletebanquetforall,andeachcontributeshissharetoit.ihadbroughtonlythesupper:andthebandbox-makerandherchildrensuppliedtheenjoyment.

    whatburstsoflaughteratnothing!whatahubbubofquestionswhichwaitedfornoreply,ofreplieswhichanswerednoquestion!theoldwomanherselfsharedinthewildmerrimentofthelittleones!ihavealwaysbeenstruckattheeasewithwhichthepoorforgettheirwretchedness.beingusedtoliveonlyforthepresent,theymakeagainofeverypleasureassoonasitoffersitself.butthesurfeitedricharemoredifficulttosatisfy:theyrequiretimeandeverythingtosuitbeforetheywillconsenttobehappy.

    theeveninghaspassedlikeamoment.theoldwomantoldmethehistoryofherlife,sometimessmiling,sometimesdryinghereyes.perrinesanganoldballadwithherfreshyoungvoice.henrytolduswhatheknowsofthegreatwritersoftheday,towhomhehastocarrytheirproofs.atlastwewereobligedtoseparate,notwithoutfreshthanksonthepartofthehappyfamily.

    ihavecomehomeslowly,ruminatingwithafullheart,andpureenjoyment,onthesimpleeventsofmyevening.ithasgivenmemuchcomfortandmuchinstruction.now,nonew-yearsdaywillcomeamisstome;iknowthatnooneissounhappyastohavenothingtogiveandnothingtoreceive.

    asicamein,imetmyrichnei***orsnewequipage.she,too,hadjustreturnedfromhereveningsparty;and,asshesprangfromthecarriage-stepwithfeverishimpatience,iheardhermurmur"atlast!"

    i,whenileftpaulettesfamily,said"sosoon!"



 CHAPTER II

    thecarnival

    february20th

    whatanoiseoutofdoors!whatisthemeaningoftheseshoutsandcries?ah!irecollect:thisisthelastdayofthecarnival,andthemaskersarepassing.

    christianityhasnotbeenabletoabolishthenoisybacchanalianfestivalsofthepagantimes,butithaschangedthenames.thatwhichithasgiventothese"daysofliberty"announcestheendingofthefeasts,andthemonthoffastingwhichshouldfollow;carn-ivalmeans,literally,"farewelltoflesh!"itisafortydaysfarewelltothe"blessedpulletsandfathams,"socelebratedbypantagruelsminstrel.

    manpreparesforprivationbysatiety,andfinisheshissinthoroughlybeforehebeginstorepent.

    why,inallagesandamongeverypeople,dowemeetwithsomeoneofthesemadfestivals?mustwebelievethatitrequiressuchaneffortformentobereasonable,thattheweakeroneshaveneedofrestatintervals?themonksoflatrappe,whoarecondemnedtosilencebytheirrule,areallowedtospeakonceinamonth,andonthisdaytheyalltalkatoncefromtherisingtothesettingofthesun.

    perhapsitisthesameintheworld.asweareobligedalltheyeartobedecent,orderly,andreasonable,wemakeupforsuchalongrestraintduringthecarnival.itisadooropenedtotheincongruousfanciesandwishesthathavehithertobeencrowdedbackintoacornerofourbrain.

    foramomenttheslavesbecomethemasters,asinthedaysofthesaturnalia,andallisgivenuptothe"foolsofthefamily."

    theshoutsinthesquareredouble;thetroopsofmasksincrease——onfoot,incarriages,andonhorseback.itisnowwhocanattractthemostattentionbymakingafigureforafewhours,orbyexcitingcuriosityorenvy;to-morrowtheywillallreturn,dullandexhausted,totheemploymentsandtroublesofyesterday.

    alas!thoughtiwithvexation,eachofusislikethesemasqueraders;ourwholelifeisoftenbutanunsightlycarnival!andyetmanhasneedofholidays,torelaxhismind,resthisbody,andopenhisheart.canhenothavethem,then,withthesecoarsepleasures?economistshavebeenlonginquiringwhatisthebestdisposaloftheindustryofthehumanrace.ah!ificouldonlydiscoverthebestdisposalofitsleisure!itiseasyenoughtofinditwork;butwhowillfinditrelaxation?worksuppliesthedailybread;butitischeerfulnessthatgivesitarelish.ophilosophers!goinquestofpleasure!findusamusementswithoutbrutality,enjoymentswithoutselfishness;inaword,inventacarnivalthatwillpleaseeverybody,andbringshametonoone.

    threeoclock——ihavejustshutmywindow,andstirredupmyfire.asthisisaholidayforeverybody,iwillmakeitoneformyself,too.soilightthelittlelampoverwhich,ongrandoccasions,imakeacupofthecoffeethatmyportressssonbroughtfromthelevant,andilookinmybookcaseforoneofmyfavoriteauthors.

    first,hereistheamusingparsonofmeudon;buthischaractersaretoofondoftalkingslang:——voltaire;buthedisheartensmenbyalwaysbanteringthem:——moliere;buthehindersoneslaughterbymakingonethink:——lesage;letusstopathim.beingprofoundratherthangrave,hepreachesvirtuewhileridiculingvice;ifbitternessissometimestobefoundinhiswritings,itisalwaysinthegarbofmirth:heseesthemiseriesoftheworldwithoutdespisingit,andknowsitscowardlytrickswithouthatingit.

    letuscallupalltheheroesofhisbookgilblas,fabrice,sangrado,thearchbishopofgranada,thedukeoflerma,aurora,scipio!

    yegayorgracefulfigures,risebeforemyeyes,peoplemysolitude;bringhitherformyamusementtheworld-carnival,ofwhichyouarethebrilliantmaskers!

    unfortunately,attheverymomentimadethisinvocation,irecollectedihadalettertowritewhichcouldnotbeputoff.oneofmyatticnei***orscameyesterdaytoaskmetodoit.heisacheerfuloldman,andhasapassionforpicturesandprints.hecomeshomealmosteverydaywithadrawingorpainting——probablyoflittlevalue;foriknowhelivespenuriously,andeventheletterthatiamtowriteforhimshowshispoverty.hisonlyson,whowasmarriedinengland,isjustdead,andhiswidow——leftwithoutanymeans,andwithanoldmotherandachild——hadwrittentobegforahome.m.antoineaskedmefirsttotranslatetheletter,andthentowritearefusal.ihadpromisedthatheshouldhavethisanswerto-day:beforeeverything,letusfulfilourpromises.

    thesheetof"bath"paperisbeforeme,ihavedippedmypenintotheink,andirubmyforeheadtoinviteforthasallyofideas,wheniperceivethatihavenotmydictionary.now,aparisianwhowouldspeakenglishwithoutadictionaryislikeachildwithoutleading-strings;thegroundtremblesunderhim,andhestumblesatthefirststep.irunthentothebookbinders,whereileftmyjohnson,wholivesclosebyinthesquare.

    thedoorishalfopen;ihearlowgroans;ienterwithoutknocking,andiseethebookbinderbythebedsideofhisfellow-lodger.thislatterhasaviolentfeveranddelirium.pierrelooksathimperplexedandoutofhumor.ilearnfromhimthathiscomradewasnotabletogetupinthemorning,andthatsincethenhehasbecomeworseeveryhour.

    iaskwhethertheyhavesentforadoctor.

    "oh,yes,indeed!"repliedpierre,roughly;"onemusthavemoneyinonespocketforthat,andthisfellowhasonlydebtsinsteadofsavings."

    "butyou,"saidi,ratherastonished;"areyounothisfriend?"

    "friend!"interruptedthebookbinder."yes,asmuchastheshaft-horseisfriendtotheleader——onconditionthateachwilltakehisshareofthedraught,andeathisfeedbyhimself."

    "youdonotintend,however,toleavehimwithoutanyhelp?"

    "bah!hemaykeepinhisbedtillto-morrow,asimgoingtotheball."

    "youmeantoleavehimalone?"

    "well!mustimissapartyofpleasureatcourtville——[aparisiansummerresort.]——becausethisfellowislightheaded?"askedpierre,sharply.

    "ihavepromisedtomeetsomefriendsatolddesnoyers.thosewhoaresickmaytaketheirbroth;myphysiciswhitewine."

    sosaying,heuntiedabundle,outofwhichhetookthefancycostumeofawaterman,andproceededtodresshimselfinit.

    invainitriedtoawakensomefellow-feelingfortheunfortunatemanwholaygroaningthereclosebyhim;beingentirelytakenupwiththethoughtsofhisexpectedpleasure,pierrewouldhardlysomuchashearme.atlasthiscoarseselfishnessprovokedme.ibeganreproachinginsteadofremonstratingwithhim,andideclaredhimresponsiblefortheconsequenceswhichsuchadesertionmustbringuponthesickman.

    atthisthebookbinder,whowasjustgoing,stoppedwithanoath,andstampedhisfoot."amitospendmycarnivalinheatingwaterforfootbaths,pray?"

    "youmustnotleaveyourcomradetodiewithouthelp!"ireplied.

    "lethimgotothehospital,then!"

    "howcanhebyhimself?"

    pierreseemedtomakeuphismind.

    "well,imgoingtotakehim,"resumedhe;"besides,ishallgetridofhimsooner.come,getup,comrade!"heshookhiscomrade,whohadnottakenoffhisclothes.iobservedthathewastooweaktowalk,butthebookbinderwouldnotlisten:hemadehimgetup,andhalfdragged,halfsupportedhimtothelodgeoftheporter,whoranforahackneycarriage.

    isawthesickmangetintoit,almostfainting,withtheimpatientwaterman;andtheybothsetoff,oneperhapstodie,theothertodineatcourtvillegardens!

    sixoclock——ihavebeentoknockatmynei***orsdoor,whoopenedithimself;andihavegivenhimhisletter,finishedatlast,anddirectedtohissonswidow.m.antoinethankedmegratefully,andmademesitdown.

    itwasthefirsttimeihadbeenintotheatticoftheoldamateur.

    curtainsstainedwithdampandhangingdowninrags,acoldstove,abedofstraw,twobrokenchairs,composedallthefurniture.attheendoftheroomwereagreatnumberofprintsinaheap,andpaintingswithoutframesturnedagainstthewall.

    atthemomenticamein,theoldmanwasmakinghisdinneronsomehardcrustsofbread,whichhewassoakinginaglassofeausucree.heperceivedthatmyeyesfelluponhishermitfare,andhelookedalittleashamed.

    "thereisnothingtotemptyouinmysupper,nei***or,"saidhe,withasmile.

    irepliedthatatleastithoughtitaveryphilosophicaloneforthecarnival.

    m.antoineshookhishead,andwentonagainwithhissupper.

    "everyonekeepshisholidaysinhisownway,"resumedhe,beginningagaintodipacrustintohisglass."thereareseveralsortsofepicures,andnotallfeastsaremeanttoregalethepalate;therearesomealsofortheearsandtheeyes."

    ilookedinvoluntarilyroundme,asiftoseekfortheinvisiblebanquetwhichcouldmakeuptohimforsuchasupper.

    withoutdoubtheunderstoodme;forhegotupslowly,and,withthemagisterialairofamanconfidentinwhatheisabouttodo,herummagedbehindseveralpictureframes,drewforthapainting,overwhichhepassedhishand,andsilentlyplaceditunderthelightofthelamp.

    itrepresentedafine-lookingoldman,seatedattablewithhiswife,hisdaughter,andhischildren,andsingingtotheaccompanimentofmusicianswhoappearedinthebackground.atfirstsightirecognizedthesubject,whichihadoftenadmiredatthelouvre,andideclaredittobeasplendidcopyofjordaens.

    "acopy!"criedm.antoine;"sayanoriginal,nei***or,andanoriginalretouchedbyrubens!lookcloserattheheadoftheoldman,thedressoftheyoungwoman,andtheaccessories.onecancountthepencil-strokesoftheherculesofpainters.itisnotonlyamasterpiece,sir;itisatreasure——arelic!thepictureatthelouvremaybeapearl,thisisadiamond!"

    andrestingitagainstthestove,soastoplaceitinthebestlight,hefellagaintosoakinghiscrusts,withouttakinghiseyesoffthewonderfulpicture.onewouldhavesaidthatthesightofitgavethecrustsanunexpectedrelish,forhechewedthemslowly,andemptiedhisglassbylittlesips.hisshrivelledfeaturesbecamesmooth,hisnostrilsexpanded;itwasindeed,ashesaidhimself,"afeastfortheeyes."

    "youseethatialsohavemytreat,"heresumed,noddinghisheadwithanairoftriumph."othersmayrunafterdinnersandballs;asforme,thisisthepleasureigivemyselfformycarnival."

    "butifthispaintingisreallysoprecious,"repliedi,"itoughttobeworthahighprice."

    "eh!eh!"saidm.antoine,withanairofproudindifference."ingoodtimes,agoodjudgemightvalueitatsomewhereabouttwentythousandfrancs."

    istartedback.

    "andyouhaveboughtit?"criedi.

    "fornothing,"repliedhe,loweringhisvoice."thesebrokersareasses;minemistookthisforastudentscopy;heletmehaveitforfiftylouis,readymoney!thismorningitookthemtohim,andnowhewishestobeoffthebargain."

    "thismorning!"repeatedi,involuntarilycastingmyeyesonthelettercontainingtherefusalthatm.antoinehadmademewritetohissonswidow,whichwasstillonthelittletable.

    hetooknonoticeofmyexclamation,andwentoncontemplatingtheworkofjordaensinanecstasy.

    "whataknowledgeofchiaroscuro!"hemurmured,bitinghislastcrustindelight."whatrelief!whatfire!wherecanonefindsuchtransparencyofcolor!suchmagicallights!suchforce!suchnature!"

    asiwaslisteningtohiminsilence,hemistookmyastonishmentforadmiration,andclappedmeontheshoulder.

    "youaredazzled,"saidhemerrily;"youdidnotexpectsuchatreasure!

    whatdoyousaytothebargainihavemade?"

    "pardonme,"repliedi,gravely;"butithinkyoumighthavedonebetter."

    m.antoineraisedhishead.

    "how!"criedhe;"doyoutakemeforamanlikelytobedeceivedaboutthemeritorvalueofapainting?"

    "ineitherdoubtyourtastenoryourskill;buticannothelpthinkingthat,forthepriceofthispictureofafamilyparty,youmighthavehad——"

    "whatthen?"

    "thefamilyitself,sir."

    theoldamateurcastalookatme,notofanger,butofcontempt.

    inhiseyesihadevidentlyjustprovedmyselfabarbarian,incapableofunderstandingthearts,andunworthyofenjoyingthem.hegotupwithoutansweringme,hastilytookupthejordaens,andreplaceditinitshiding-placebehindtheprints.

    itwasasortofdismissal;itookleaveofhim,andwentaway.

    sevenoclock——whenicomeinagain,ifindmywaterboilingovermylamp,andibusymyselfingrindingmymocha,andsettingoutmycoffee-things.

    thegettingcoffeereadyisthemostdelicateandmostattractiveofdomesticoperationstoonewholivesalone:itisthegrandworkofabachelorshousekeeping.

    coffeeis,sotosay,justthemid-pointbetweenbodilyandspiritualnourishment.itactsagreeably,andatthesametime,uponthesensesandthethoughts.itsveryfragrancegivesasortofdelightfulactivitytothewits;itisageniusthatlendswingstoourfancy,andtransportsittothelandofthearabiannights.

    wheniamburiedinmyoldeasy-chair,myfeetonthefenderbeforeablazingfire,myearsoothedbythesingingofthecoffee-pot,whichseemstogossipwithmyfire-irons,thesenseofsmellgentlyexcitedbythearomaofthearabianbean,andmyeyesshadedbymycappulleddownoverthem,itoftenseemsasifeachcloudofthefragrantsteamtookadistinctform.asinthemiragesofthedesert,ineachasitrises,iseesomeimageofwhichmymindhadbeenlongingforthereality.

    atfirstthevaporincreases,anditscolordeepens.iseeacottageonahillside:behindisagardenshutinbyawhitethornhedge,andthroughthegardenrunsabrook,onthebanksofwhichihearthebeeshumming.

    thentheviewopensstillmore.seethosefieldsplantedwithapple-trees,inwhichicandistinguishaploughandhorseswaitingfortheirmaster!fartheron,inapartofthewoodwhichringswiththesoundoftheaxe,iperceivethewoodsmanshut,roofedwithturfandbranches;and,inthemidstofalltheseruralpictures,iseemtoseeafigureofmyselfglidingabout.itismyghostwalkinginmydream!

    thebubblingofthewater,readytoboilover,compelsmetobreakoffmymeditations,inordertofillupthecoffee-pot.ithenrememberthatihavenocream;itakemytincanoffthehookandgodowntothemilkwomans.

    motherdenisisahalecountrywomanfromsavoy,whichsheleftwhenquiteyoung;and,contrarytothecustomofthesavoyards,shehasnotgonebacktoitagain.shehasneitherhusbandnorchild,notwithstandingthetitletheygiveher;butherkindness,whichneversleeps,makesherworthyofthenameofmother.

    abravecreature!leftbyherselfinthebattleoflife,shemakesgoodherhumbleplaceinitbyworking,singing,helpingothers,andleavingtheresttogod.

    atthedoorofthemilk-shopihearloudburstsoflaughter.inoneofthecornersoftheshopthreechildrenaresittingontheground.theywearthesootydressofsavoyardboys,andintheirhandstheyholdlargeslicesofbreadandcheese.theyoungestisbesmeareduptotheeyeswithhis,andthatisthereasonoftheirmirth.

    motherdenispointsthemouttome.

    "lookatthelittlelambs,howtheyenjoythemselves!"saidshe,puttingherhandontheheadofthelittleglutton.

    "hehashadnobreakfast,"putsinoneoftheothersbywayofexcuse.

    "poorlittlething,"saidthemilkwoman;"heisleftaloneinthestreetsofparis,wherehecanfindnootherfatherthantheall-goodgod!"

    "andthatiswhyyoumakeyourselfamothertothem?"ireplied,gently.

    "whatidoislittleenough,"saidmotherdenis,measuringoutmymilk;"buteverydayigetsomeofthemtogetheroutofthestreet,thatforoncetheymayhaveenoughtoeat.dearchildren!theirmotherswillmakeupforitinheaven.nottomentionthattheyrecallmynativemountainstome:whentheysinganddance,iseemtoseeouroldfatheragain."

    herehereyesfilledwithtears.

    "soyouarerepaidbyyourrecollectionsforthegoodyoudothem?"

    resumedi.

    "yes!yes!"saidshe,"andbytheirhappiness,too!thelaughteroftheselittleones,sir,islikeabirdssong;itmakesyougay,andgivesyouhearttolive."

    asshespokeshecutsomefreshslicesofbreadandcheese,andaddedsomeapplesandahandfulofnutstothem.

    "come,mylittledears,"shecried,"puttheseintoyourpocketsagainstto-morrow."

    then,turningtome:

    "to-dayiamruiningmyself,"addedshe;"butwemustallhaveourcarnival."

    icameawaywithoutsayingaword:iwastoomuchaffected.

    atlastihavediscoveredwhattruepleasureis.afterbeholdingtheegotismofsensualityandofintellect,ihavefoundthehappyself-sacrificeofgoodness.pierre,m.antoine,andmotherdenishadallkepttheircarnival;butforthefirsttwo,itwasonlyafeastforthesensesorthemind;whileforthethird,itwasafeastfortheheart.



 CHAPTER III

    whatwemaylearnbylookingoutofwindow

    march3d

    apoethassaidthatlifeisthedreamofashadow:hewouldbetterhavecomparedittoanightoffever!whatalternatefitsofrestlessnessandsleep!whatdiscomfort!whatsuddenstarts!whatever-returningthirst!

    whatachaosofmournfulandconfusedfancies!wecanneithersleepnorwake;weseekinvainforrepose,andwestopshortonthebrinkofaction.twothirdsofhumanexistencearewastedinhesitation,andthelastthirdinrepenting.

    whenisayhumanexistence,imeanmyown!wearesomadethateachofusregardshimselfasthemirrorofthecommunity:whatpassesinourmindsinfalliblyseemstousahistoryoftheuniverse.everymanislikethedrunkardwhoreportsanearthquake,becausehefeelshimselfstaggering.

    andwhyamiuncertainandrestless——i,apoorday-laborerintheworld——whofillanobscurestationinacornerofit,andwhoseworkitavailsitselfof,withoutheedingtheworkman?iwilltellyou,myunseenfriend,forwhomtheselinesarewritten;myunknownbrother,onwhomthesolitarycallinsorrow;myimaginaryconfidant,towhomallmonologuesareaddressedandwhoisbuttheshadowofourownconscience.

    agreateventhashappenedinmylife!acrossroadhassuddenlyopenedinthemiddleofthemonotonouswayalongwhichiwastravellingquietly,andwithoutthinkingofit.tworoadspresentthemselves,andimustchoosebetweenthem.oneisonlythecontinuationofthatihavefollowedtillnow;theotheriswider,andexhibitswondrousprospects.

    onthefirstthereisnothingtofear,butalsolittletohope;ontheotheraregreatdangersandgreatfortune.briefly,thequestionis,whetherishallgiveupthehumbleofficeinwhichithoughttodie,foroneofthoseboldspeculationsinwhichchancealoneisbanker!eversinceyesterdayihaveconsultedwithmyself;ihavecomparedthetwoandiremainundecided.

    whereshallifindlight——whowilladviseme?

    sunday,4th——seethesuncomingoutfromthethickfogsofwinter!

    springannouncesitsapproach;asoftbreezeskimsovertheroofs,andmywallflowerbeginstoblowagain.

    wearenearthatsweetseasonoffreshgreen,ofwhichthepoetsofthesixteenthcenturysangwithsomuchfeeling:

    nowthegladsomemonthofmay.

    allthingsnewlydotharray;fairestlady,letmetoo.

    inthylovemyliferenew.

    thechirpingofthesparrowscallsme:theyclaimthecrumbsiscattertothemeverymorning.iopenmywindow,andtheprospectofroofsopensoutbeforemeinallitssplendor.

    hewhohaslivedonlyonafirstfloorhasnoideaofthepicturesquevarietyofsuchaview.hehasnevercontemplatedthesetile-coloredheightswhichintersecteachother;hehasnotfollowedwithhiseyesthesegutter-valleys,wherethefreshverdureoftheatticgardenswaves,thedeepshadowswhicheveningspreadsovertheslatedslopes,andthesparklingofwindowswhichthesettingsunhaskindledtoablazeoffire.hehasnotstudiedthefloraofthesealpsofcivilization,carpetedbylichensandmosses;heisnotacquaintedwiththemyriadinhabitantsthatpeoplethem,fromthemicroscopicinsecttothedomesticcat——thatreynardoftheroofswhoisalwaysontheprowl,orinambush;hehasnotwitnessedthethousandaspectsofaclearoracloudysky;northethousandeffectsoflight,thatmaketheseupperregionsatheatrewithever-changingscenes!howmanytimeshavemydaysofleisurepassedawayincontemplatingthiswonderfulsight;indiscoveringitsdarkerorbrighterepisodes;inseeking,inshort,inthisunknownworldfortheimpressionsoftravelthatwealthytouristslookforlower!

    nineoclock——butwhy,then,havenotmywingednei***orspickedupthecrumbsihavescatteredforthembeforemywindow?iseethemflyaway,comeback,perchupontheledgesofthewindows,andchirpatthesightofthefeasttheyareusuallysoreadytodevour!itisnotmypresencethatfrightensthem;ihaveaccustomedthemtoeatoutofmyhand.then,whythisfearfulsuspense?invainilookaround:theroofisclear,thewindowsnearareclosed.icrumblethebreadthatremainsfrommybreakfasttoattractthembyanamplerfeast.theirchirpingsincrease,theybenddowntheirheads,theboldestapproachuponthewing,butwithoutdaringtoalight.

    come,come,mysparrowsarethevictimsofoneofthefoolishpanicswhichmakethefundsfallatthebourse!itisplainthatbirdsarenotmorereasonablethanmen!

    withthisreflectioniwasabouttoshutmywindow,whensuddenlyiperceived,inaspotofsunshineonmyright,theshadowoftwopricked-upears;thenapawadvanced,thentheheadofatabby-catshoweditselfatthecornerofthegutter.thecunningfellowwaslyingthereinwait,hopingthecrumbswouldbringhimsomegame.

    andihadaccusedmyguestsofcowardice!iwassosurethatnodangercouldmenacethem!ithoughtihadlookedwelleverywhere!ihadonlyforgottenthecornerbehindme!

    inlife,asontheroofs,howmanymisfortunescomefromhavingforgottenasinglecorner!

    tenoclock——icannotleavemywindow;therainandthecoldhavekeptitshutsolongthatimustreconnoitrealltheenvironstobeabletotakepossessionofthemagain.myeyessearchinsuccessionallthepointsofthejumbledandconfusedprospect,passingonorstoppingaccordingtowhattheylightupon.

    ah!seethewindowsuponwhichtheyformerlylovedtorest;theyarethoseoftwounknownnei***ors,whosedifferenthabitstheyhavelongremarked.

    oneisapoorwork-woman,whorisesbeforesunrise,andwhoseprofileisshadoweduponherlittlemuslinwindow-curtainfarintotheevening;theotherisayoungsongstress,whosevocalflourishessometimesreachmyatticbysnatches.whentheirwindowsareopen,thatofthework-womandiscoversahumblebutdecentabode;theother,anelegantlyfurnishedroom.butto-dayacrowdoftradespeoplethrongthelatter:theytakedownthesilkhangingsandcarryoffthefurniture,andinowrememberthattheyoungsingerpassedundermywindowthismorningwithherveildown,andwalkingwiththehastystepofonewhosufferssomeinwardtrouble.ah!iguessitall.hermeansareexhaustedinelegantfancies,orhavebeentakenawaybysomeunexpectedmisfortune,andnowshehasfallenfromluxurytoindigence.whilethework-womanmanagesnotonlytokeepherlittleroom,butalsotofurnishitwithdecentcomfortbyhersteadytoil,thatofthesingerisbecomethepropertyofbrokers.theonesparkledforamomentonthewaveofprosperity;theothersailsslowlybutsafelyalongthecoastofahumbleandlaboriousindustry.

    alas!istherenotherealessonforusall?isitreallyinhazardousexperiments,attheendofwhichweshallmeetwithwealthorruin,thatthewisemanshouldemployhisyearsofstrengthandfreedom?oughthetoconsiderlifeasaregularemploymentwhichbringsitsdailywages,orasagameinwhichthefutureisdeterminedbyafewthrows?whyseektheriskofextremechances?forwhatendhastentorichesbydangerousroads?isitreallycertainthathappinessistheprizeofbrilliantsuccesses,ratherthanofawiselyacceptedpoverty?ah!ifmenbutknewinwhatasmalldwellingjoycanlive,andhowlittleitcoststofurnishit!

    twelveoclock——ihavebeenwalkingupanddownmyatticforalongtime,withmyarmsfoldedandmyeyesontheground!mydoubtsincrease,likeshadowsencroachingmoreandmoreonsomebrightspace;myfearsmultiply;andtheuncertaintybecomeseverymomentmorepainfultome!

    itisnecessaryformetodecideto-day,andbeforetheevening!iholdthediceofmyfuturefateinmyhands,andidarenotthrowthem.

    threeoclock——theskyhasbecomecloudy,andacoldwindbeginstoblowfromthewest;allthewindowswhichwereopenedtothesunshineofabeautifuldayareshutagain.onlyontheoppositesideofthestreet,thelodgeronthelaststoryhasnotyetlefthisbalcony.

    oneknowshimtobeasoldierbyhisregularwalk,hisgraymoustaches,andtheribbonthatdecorateshisbuttonhole.indeed,onemighthaveguessedasmuchfromthecarehetakesofthelittlegardenwhichistheornamentofhisbalconyinmid-air;fortherearetwothingsespeciallylovedbyalloldsoldiers——flowersandchildren.theyhavebeensolong,obligedtolookupontheearthasafieldofbattle,andsolongcutofffromthepeacefulpleasuresofaquietlot,thattheyseemtobeginlifeatanagewhenothersendit.thetastesoftheirearlyyears,whichwerearrestedbythesterndutiesofwar,suddenlybreakoutagainwiththeirwhitehairs,andarelikethesavingsofyouthwhichtheyspendagaininoldage.besides,theyhavebeencondemnedtobedestroyersforsolongthatperhapstheyfeelasecretpleasureincreating,andseeinglifespringupagain:thebeautyofweaknesshasagraceandanattractionthemoreforthosewhohavebeentheagentsofunbendingforce;andthewatchingoverthefrailgermsoflifehasallthecharmsofnoveltyfortheseoldworkmenofdeath.

    thereforethecoldwindhasnotdrivenmynei***orfromhisbalcony.

    heisdigginguptheearthinhisgreenboxes,andcarefullysowingtheseedsofthescarletnasturtium,convolvulus,andsweet-pea.henceforthhewillcomeeverydaytowatchfortheirfirstsprouting,toprotecttheyoungshootsfromweedsorinsects,toarrangethestringsforthetendrilstoclimbon,andcarefullytoregulatetheirsupplyofwaterandheat!

    howmuchlabortobringinthedesiredharvest!forthat,howmanytimesshalliseehimbravecoldorheat,windorsun,ashedoesto-day!butthen,inthehotsummerdays,whentheblindingdustwhirlsincloudsthroughourstreets,whentheeye,dazzledbytheglareofwhitestucco,knowsnotwheretorest,andtheglowingroofsreflecttheirheatuponustoburning,theoldsoldierwillsitinhisarborandperceivenothingbutgreenleavesandflowersaroundhim,andthebreezewillcomecoolandfreshtohimthroughtheseperfumedshades.hisassiduouscarewillberewardedatlast.

    wemustsowtheseeds,andtendthegrowth,ifwewouldenjoytheflower.

    fouroclock——thecloudsthathavebeengatheringinthehorizonforalongtimearebecomedarker;itthundersloudly,andtherainpoursdown!

    thosewhoarecaughtinitflyineverydirection,somelaughingandsomecrying.

    ialwaysfindparticularamusementinthesehelter-skelters,causedbyasuddenstorm.itseemsasifeachone,whenthustakenbysurprise,losesthefactitiouscharacterthattheworldorhabithasgivenhim,andappearsinhistruecolors.

    see,forexample,thatbigmanwithdeliberatestep,whosuddenlyforgetshisindifference,madetoorder,andrunslikeaschoolboy!heisathriftycitygentleman,who,withallhisfashionableairs,isafraidtospoilhishat.

    thatprettywomanyonder,onthecontrary,whoselooksaresomodest,andwhosedressissoelaborate,slackensherpacewiththeincreasingstorm.sheseemstofindpleasureinbravingit,anddoesnotthinkofhervelvetcloakspottedbythehail!sheisevidentlyalionessinsheepsclothing.

    here,ayoungman,whowaspassing,stopstocatchsomeofthehailstonesinhishand,andexaminesthem.byhisquickandbusiness-likewalkjustnow,youwouldhavetakenhimforatax-gathereronhisrounds,whenheisayoungphilosopher,studyingtheeffectsofelectricity.andthoseschoolboyswholeavetheirrankstorunafterthesuddengustsofamarchwhirlwind;thosegirls,justnowsodemure,butwhonowflywithburstsoflaughter;thosenationalguards,whoquitthemartialattitudeoftheirdaysofdutytotakerefugeunderaporch!thestormhascausedallthesetransformations.

    see,itincreases!thehardiestareobligedtoseekshelter.iseeeveryonerushingtowardtheshopinfrontofmywindow,whichabillannouncesistolet.itisforthefourthtimewithinafewmonths.

    ayearagoalltheskillofthejoinerandtheartofthepainterwereemployedinbeautifyingit,buttheirworksarealreadydestroyedbytheleavingofsomanytenants;thecornicesofthefrontaredisfiguredbymud;thearabesquesonthedoorwayarespoiledbybillsposteduponthemtoannouncethesaleoftheeffects.thesplendidshophaslostsomeofitsembellishmentswitheachchangeofthetenant.seeitnowempty,andleftopentothepassersby.howmuchdoesitsfateresemblethatofsomanywho,likeit,onlychangetheiroccupationtohastenthefastertoruin!

    iamstruckbythislastreflection:sincethemorningeverythingseemstospeaktome,andwiththesamewarningtone.everythingsays:"takecare!becontentwithyourhappy,thoughhumblelot;happinesscanberetainedonlybyconstancy;donotforsakeyouroldpatronsfortheprotectionofthosewhoareunknown!"

    aretheytheoutwardobjectswhichspeakthus,ordoesthewarningcomefromwithin?isitnotimyselfwhogivethislanguagetoallthatsurroundsme?theworldisbutaninstrument,towhichwegivesoundatwill.butwhatdoesitsignifyifitteachesuswisdom?thelowvoicethatspeaksinourbreastsisalwaysafriendlyvoice,forittellsuswhatweare,thatistosay,whatisourcapability.badconductresults,forthemostpart,frommistakingourcalling.therearesomanyfoolsandknaves,becausetherearesofewmenwhoknowthemselves.

    thequestionisnottodiscoverwhatwillsuitus,butforwhatwearesuited!

    whatshouldidoamongthesemanyexperiencedfinancialspeculators?iamonlyapoorsparrow,bornamongthehousetops,andshouldalwaysfeartheenemycrouchinginthedarkcorner;iamaprudentworkman,andshouldthinkofthebusinessofmynei***orswhososuddenlydisappeared;iamatimidobserver,andshouldcalltomindtheflowerssoslowlyraisedbytheoldsoldier,ortheshopbroughttoruinbyconstantchangeofmasters.awayfromme,yebanquets,overwhichhangstheswordofdamocles!iamacountrymouse.givememynutsandhollowtree,andiasknothingbesides——exceptsecurity.

    andwhythisinsatiablecravingforriches?doesamandrinkmorewhenhedrinksfromalargeglass?whencecomesthatuniversaldreadofmediocrity,thefruitfulmotherofpeaceandliberty?ah!thereistheevilwhich,aboveeveryother,itshouldbetheaimofbothpublicandprivateeducationtoanticipate!ifthatweregotridof,whattreasonswouldbespared,whatbasenessavoided,whatachainofexcessandcrimewouldbeforeverbroken!weawardthepalmtocharity,andtoself-sacrifice;but,aboveall,letusawardittomoderation,foritisthegreatsocialvirtue.evenwhenitdoesnotcreatetheothers,itstandsinsteadofthem.

    sixoclock——ihavewrittenaletterofthankstothepromotersofthenewspeculation,andhavedeclinedtheiroffer!thisdecisionhasrestoredmypeaceofmind.istoppedsinging,likethecobbler,aslongasientertainedthehopeofriches:itisgone,andhappinessiscomeback!

    obelovedandgentlepoverty!pardonmeforhavingforamomentwishedtoflyfromthee,asiwouldfromwant.stayhereforeverwiththycharmingsisters,pity,patience,sobriety,andsolitude;beyemyqueensandmyinstructors;teachmethesterndutiesoflife;removefarfrommyabodetheweaknessofheartandgiddinessofheadwhichfollowprosperity.holypoverty!teachmetoendurewithoutcomplaining,toimpartwithoutgrudging,toseektheendoflifehigherthaninpleasure,fartheroffthaninpower.thougivestthebodystrength,thoumakestthemindmorefirm;and,thankstothee,thislife,towhichtherichattachthemselvesastoarock,becomesabarkofwhichdeathmaycutthecablewithoutawakeningallourfears.continuetosustainme,othouwhomchristhathcalledblessed!



 CHAPTER IV

    letusloveoneanother

    april9th

    thefineeveningsarecomeback;thetreesbegintoputforththeirshoots;hyacinths,jonquils,violets,andlilacsperfumethebasketsoftheflower-girls——alltheworldhavebeguntheirwalksagainonthequaysandboulevards.afterdinner,i,too,descendfrommyattictobreathetheeveningair.

    itisthehourwhenparisisseeninallitsbeauty.duringthedaytheplasterfrontsofthehouseswearytheeyebytheirmonotonouswhiteness;heavilyladencartsmakethestreetsshakeundertheirhugewheels;theeagercrowd,takenupbytheonefearoflosingamomentfrombusiness,crossandjostleoneanother;theaspectofthecityaltogetherhassomethingharsh,restless,andflurriedaboutit.but,assoonasthestarsappear,everythingischanged;theglareofthewhitehousesisquenchedinthegatheringshades;youhearnomoreanyrollingbutthatofthecarriagesontheirwaytosomepartyofpleasure;youseeonlytheloungerorthelight-heartedpassingby;workhasgivenplacetoleisure.

    noweachonemaybreatheafterthefierceracethroughthebusinessoftheday,andwhateverstrengthremainstohimhegivestopleasure!seetheballroomslightedup,thetheatresopen,theeating-shopsalongthewalkssetoutwithdainties,andthetwinklinglanternsofthenewspapercriers.decidedlyparishaslaidasidethepen,theruler,andtheapron;afterthedayspentinwork,itmusthavetheeveningforenjoyment;likethemastersofthebes,ithasputoffallseriousmattertilltomorrow.

    ilovetotakepartinthishappyhour;nottomixinthegeneralgayety,buttocontemplateit.iftheenjoymentsofothersembitterjealousminds,theystrengthenthehumblespirit;theyarethebeamsofsunshine,whichopenthetwobeautifulflowerscalledtrustandhope.

    althoughaloneinthemidstofthesmilingmultitude,idonotfeelmyselfisolatedfromit,foritsgayetyisreflecteduponme:itismyownkind,myownfamily,whoareenjoyinglife,anditakeabrothersshareintheirhappiness.weareallfellow-soldiersinthisearthlybattle,andwhatdoesitmatteronwhomthehonorsofthevictoryfall?

    iffortunepassesbywithoutseeingus,andpoursherfavorsonothers,letusconsoleourselves,likethefriendofparmenio,bysaying,"those,too,arealexanders."

    whilemakingthesereflections,iwasgoingonaschancetookme.icrossedfromonepavementtoanother,iretracedmysteps,istoppedbeforetheshopsortoreadthehandbills.howmanythingstherearetolearninthestreetsofparis!whatamuseumitis!unknownfruits,foreignarms,furnitureofoldtimesorotherlands,animalsofallclimates,statuesofgreatmen,costumesofdistantnations!itistheworldseeninsamples!

    letusthenlookatthispeople,whoseknowledgeisgainedfromtheshop-windowsandthetradesmansdisplayofgoods.nothinghasbeentaughtthem,buttheyhavearudenotionofeverything.theyhaveseenpineapplesatchevets,apalm-treeinthejardindesplantes,sugar-canessellingonthepont-neuf.theredskins,exhibitedinthevalentinehall,havetaughtthemtomimicthedanceofthebison,andtosmokethecalumetofpeace;theyhaveseencarterslionsfed;theyknowtheprincipalnationalcostumescontainedinbabinscollection;goupilsdisplayofprintshasplacedthetiger-huntsofafricaandthesittingsoftheenglishparliamentbeforetheireyes;theyhavebecomeacquaintedwithqueenvictoria,theemperorofaustria,andkossuth,attheoffice-dooroftheillustratednews.wecancertainlyinstructthem,butnotastonishthem;fornothingiscompletelynewtothem.youmaytaketheparisragamuffinthroughthefivequartersoftheworld,andateverywonderwithwhichyouthinktosurprisehim,hewillsettlethematterwiththatfavoriteandconclusiveanswerofhisclass——"iknow."

    butthisvarietyofexhibitions,whichmakesparisthefairoftheworld,doesnotoffermerelyameansofinstructiontohimwhowalksthroughit;itisacontinualspurforrousingtheimagination,afirststepoftheladderalwayssetupbeforeusinavision.whenweseethem,howmanyvoyagesdowetakeinimagination,whatadventuresdowedreamof,whatpicturesdowesketch!ineverlookatthatshopnearthechinesebaths,withitstapestryhangingsoffloridajessamine,andfilledwithmagnolias,withoutseeingtheforestgladesofthenewworld,describedbytheauthorofatala,openingthemselvesoutbeforeme.

    then,whenthisstudyofthingsandthisdiscourseofreasonbegintotireyou,lookaroundyou!whatcontrastsoffiguresandfacesyouseeinthecrowd!whatavastfieldfortheexerciseofmeditation!ahalf-seenglance,orafewwordscaughtasthespeakerpassesby,openathousandvistastoyourimagination.youwishtocomprehendwhattheseimperfectdisclosuresmean,and,astheantiquaryendeavorstodecipherthemutilatedinscriptiononsomeoldmonument,youbuildupahistoryonagestureoronaword!thesearethestirringsportsofthemind,whichfindsinfictionarelieffromthewearisomedullnessoftheactual.

    alas!asiwasjustnowpassingbythecarriage-entranceofagreathouse,inoticedasadsubjectforoneofthesehistories.amanwassittinginthedarkestcorner,withhisheadbare,andholdingouthishatforthecharityofthosewhopassed.histhreadbarecoathadthatlookofneatnesswhichmarksthatdestitutionhasbeenmetbyalongstruggle.hehadcarefullybuttonedituptohidethewantofashirt.

    hisfacewashalfhidunderhisgrayhair,andhiseyeswereclosed,asifhewishedtoescapethesightofhisownhumiliation,andheremainedmuteandmotionless.thosewhopassedhimtooknonoticeofthebeggar,whosatinsilenceanddarkness!theyhadbeensoluckyastoescapecomplaintsandimportunities,andweregladtoturnawaytheireyestoo.

    suddenlythegreatgateturnedonitshinges;andaverylowcarriage,lightedwithsilverlampsanddrawnbytwoblackhorses,cameslowlyout,andtooktheroadtowardthefaubourgst.germain.icouldjustdistinguish,within,thesparklingdiamondsandtheflowersofaball-dress;theglareofthelampspassedlikeabloodystreakoverthepalefaceofthebeggar,andshowedhislookashiseyesopenedandfollowedtherichmansequipageuntilitdisappearedinthenight.

    idroppedasmallpieceofmoneyintothehathewasholdingout,andpassedonquickly.

    ihadjustfallenunexpectedlyuponthetwosaddestsecretsofthediseasewhichtroublestheagewelivein:theenvioushatredofhimwhosufferswant,andtheselfishforgetfulnessofhimwholivesinaffluence.

    alltheenjoymentofmywalkwasgone;ileftofflookingaboutme,andretiredintomyownheart.theanimatedandmovingsightinthestreetsgaveplacetoinwardmeditationuponallthepainfulproblemswhichhavebeenwrittenforthelastfourthousandyearsatthebottomofeachhumanstruggle,butwhicharepropoundedmoreclearlythaneverinourdays.

    iponderedontheuselessnessofsomanycontests,inwhichdefeatandvictoryonlydisplaceeachotherbyturns,andonthemistakenzealotswhohaverepeatedfromgenerationtogenerationthebloodyhistoryofcainandabel;and,saddenedwiththesemournfulreflections,iwalkedonaschancetookme,untilthesilenceallaroundinsensiblydrewmeoutfrommyownthoughts.

    ihadreachedoneoftheremotestreets,inwhichthosewhowouldliveincomfortandwithoutostentation,andwholoveseriousreflection,delighttofindahome.therewerenoshopsalongthedimlylightedstreet;oneheardnosoundsbutofdistantcarriages,andofthestepsofsomeoftheinhabitantsreturningquietlyhome.

    iinstantlyrecognizedthestreet,thoughihadbeenthereonlyoncebefore.

    thatwastwoyearsago.iwaswalkingatthetimebythesideoftheseine,towhichthelightsonthequaysandbridgesgavetheaspectofalakesurroundedbyagarlandofstars;andihadreachedthelouvre,wheniwasstoppedbyacrowdcollectedneartheparapettheyhadgatheredroundachildofaboutsix,whowascrying,andiaskedthecauseofhistears.

    "itseemsthathewassenttowalkinthetuileries,"saidamason,whowasreturningfromhisworkwithhistrowelinhishand;"theservantwhotookcareofhimmetwithsomefriendsthere,andtoldthechildtowaitforhimwhilehewenttogetadrink;butisupposethedrinkmadehimmorethirsty,forhehasnotcomeback,andthechildcannotfindhiswayhome."

    "whydotheynotaskhimhisname,andwherehelives?"

    "theyhavebeendoingitforthelasthour;butallhecansayis,thatheiscalledcharles,andthathisfatherismonsieurduval——therearetwelvehundredduvalsinparis."

    "thenhedoesnotknowinwhatpartofthetownhelives?"

    "ishouldnotthink,indeed!dontyouseethatheisagentlemanschild?hehasnevergoneoutexceptinacarriageorwithaservant;hedoesnotknowwhattodobyhimself."

    herethemasonwasinterruptedbysomeofthevoicesrisingabovetheothers.

    "wecannotleavehiminthestreet,"saidsome.

    "thechild-stealerswouldcarryhimoff,"continuedothers.

    "wemusttakehimtotheoverseer."

    "ortothepolice-office."

    "thatsthething.come,littleone!"

    butthechild,frightenedbythesesuggestionsofdanger,andatthenamesofpoliceandoverseer,criedlouder,anddrewbacktowardtheparapet.invaintheytriedtopersuadehim;hisfearsmadehimresistthemore,andthemosteagerbegantogetweary,whenthevoiceofalittleboywasheardthroughtheconfusion.

    "iknowhimwell——ido,"saidhe,lookingatthelostchild;"hebelongsinourpartofthetown."

    "whatpartisit?"

    "yonder,ontheothersideoftheboulevards——ruedesmagasins."

    "andyouhaveseenhimbefore?"

    "yes,yes!hebelongstothegreathouseattheendofthestreet,wherethereisanirongatewithgiltpoints."

    thechildquicklyraisedhishead,andstoppedcrying.thelittleboyansweredallthequestionsthatwereputtohim,andgavesuchdetailsasleftnoroomfordoubt.theotherchildunderstoodhim,forhewentuptohimasiftoputhimselfunderhisprotection.

    "thenyoucantakehimtohisparents?"askedthemason,whohadlistenedwithrealinteresttothelittleboysaccount.

    "idontcareifido,"repliedhe;"itsthewayimgoing."

    "thenyouwilltakechargeofhim?"

    "hehasonlytocomewithme."

    and,takingupthebaskethehadputdownonthepavement,hesetofftowardthepostern-gateofthelouvre.

    thelostchildfollowedhim.

    "ihopehewilltakehimright,"saidi,whenisawthemgoaway.

    "neverfear,"repliedthemason;"thelittleoneintheblouseisthesameageastheother;but,asthesayingis,heknowsblackfromwhite;poverty,yousee,isafamousschoolmistress!"

    thecrowddispersed.formypart,iwenttowardthelouvre;thethoughtcameintomyheadtofollowthetwochildren,soastoguardagainstanymistake.

    iwasnotlonginovertakingthem;theywerewalkingsidebyside,talking,andalreadyquitefamiliarwitheachother.thecontrastintheirdressthenstruckme.littleduvalworeoneofthosefancifulchildrensdresseswhichareexpensiveaswellasingoodtaste;hiscoatwasskilfullyfittedtohisfigure,histrouserscamedowninplaitsfromhiswaisttohisbootsofpolishedleatherwithmother-of-pearlbuttons,andhisringletswerehalfhidbyavelvetcap.theappearanceofhisguide,onthecontrary,wasthatoftheclasswhodwellontheextremebordersofpoverty,butwhotheremaintaintheirgroundwithnosurrender.hisoldblouse,patchedwithpiecesofdifferentshades,indicatedtheperseveranceofanindustriousmotherstrugglingagainstthewearandtearoftime;histrouserswerebecometooshort,andshowedhisstockingsdarnedoverandoveragain;anditwasevidentthathisshoeswerenotmadeforhim.

    thecountenancesofthetwochildrenwerenotlessdifferentthantheirdress.thatofthefirstwasdelicateandrefined;hisclearblueeye,hisfairskin,andhissmilingmouthgavehimacharminglookofinnocenceandhappiness.thefeaturesoftheother,onthecontrary,hadsomethingroughinthem;hiseyewasquickandlively,hiscomplexiondark,hissmilelessmerrythanshrewd;allshowedamindsharpenedbytooearlyexperience;hewalkedboldlythroughthemiddleofthestreetsthrongedbycarriages,andfollowedtheircountlessturningswithouthesitation.

    ifound,onaskinghim,thateverydayhecarrieddinnertohisfather,whowasthenworkingontheleftbankoftheseine;andthisresponsibledutyhadmadehimcarefulandprudent.hehadlearnedthosehardbutforciblelessonsofnecessitywhichnothingcanequalorsupplytheplaceof.unfortunately,thewantsofhispoorfamilyhadkepthimfromschool,andheseemedtofeeltheloss;forheoftenstoppedbeforetheprintshops,andaskedhiscompaniontoreadhimthenamesoftheengravings.inthiswaywereachedtheboulevardbonnenouvelle,whichthelittlewandererseemedtoknowagain.notwithstandinghisfatigue,hehurriedon;hewasagitatedbymixedfeelings;atthesightofhishouseheutteredacry,andrantowardtheirongatewiththegiltpoints;aladywhowasstandingattheentrancereceivedhiminherarms,andfromtheexclamationsofjoy,andthesoundofkisses,isoonperceivedshewashismother.

    notseeingeithertheservantorchildreturn,shehadsentinsearchofthemineverydirection,andwaswaitingfortheminintenseanxiety.

    iexplainedtoherinafewwordswhathadhappened.shethankedmewarmly,andlookedroundforthelittleboywhohadrecognizedandbroughtbackherson;butwhileweweretalking,hehaddisappeared.

    itwasforthefirsttimesincethenthatihadcomeintothispartofparis.didthemothercontinuegrateful?hadthechildrenmetagain,andhadthehappychanceoftheirfirstmeetingloweredbetweenthemthatbarrierwhichmaymarkthedifferentranksofmen,butshouldnotdividethem?

    whileputtingthesequestionstomyself,islackenedmypace,andfixedmyeyesonthegreatgate,whichijustperceived.suddenlyisawitopen,andtwochildrenappearedattheentrance.althoughmuchgrown,irecognizedthematfirstsight;theywerethechildwhowasfoundneartheparapetofthelouvre,andhisyoungguide.butthedressofthelatterwasgreatlychanged:hisblouseofgrayclothwasneat,andevenspruce,andwasfastenedroundthewaistbyapolishedleatherbelt;heworestrongshoes,butmadeforhisfeet,andhadonanewclothcap.

    justatthemomentisawhim,heheldinhistwohandsanenormousbunchoflilacs,towhichhiscompanionwastryingtoaddnarcissusesandprimroses;thetwochildrenlaughed,andpartedwithafriendlygood-by.

    m.duvalssondidnotgointillhehadseentheotherturnthecornerofthestreet.

    theniaccostedthelatter,andremindedhimofourformermeeting;helookedatmeforamoment,andthenseemedtorecollectme.

    "forgivemeifidonotmakeyouabow,"saidhe,merrily,"butiwantbothmyhandsforthenosegaymonsieurcharleshasgivenme."

    "youare,then,becomegreatfriends?"saidi.

    "oh!ishouldthinkso,"saidthechild;"andnowmyfatherisrichtoo!"

    "howsthat?"

    "monsieurduvallenthimsomemoney;hehastakenashop,whereheworksonhisownaccount;and,asforme,igotoschool."

    "yes,"repliedi,remarkingforthefirsttimethecrossthatdecoratedhislittlecoat;"andiseethatyouarehead-boy!"

    "monsieurcharleshelpsmetolearn,andsoiamcometobethefirstintheclass."

    "areyounowgoingtoyourlessons?"

    "yes,andhehasgivenmesomelilacs;forhehasagardenwhereweplaytogether,andwheremymothercanalwayshaveflowers."

    "thenitisthesameasifitwerepartlyyourown."

    "soitis!ah!theyaregoodnei***orsindeed.buthereiam;good-by,sir."

    henoddedtomewithasmile,anddisappeared.

    iwentonwithmywalk,stillpensive,butwithafeelingofrelief.

    ifihadelsewherewitnessedthepainfulcontrastbetweenaffluenceandwant,hereihadfoundthetrueunionofrichesandpoverty.heartygood-willhadsmootheddownthemoreruggedinequalitiesonbothsides,andhadopenedaroadoftruenei***orhoodandfellowshipbetweenthehumbleworkshopandthestatelymansion.insteadofhearkeningtothevoiceofinterest,theyhadbothlistenedtothatofself-sacrifice,andtherewasnoplaceleftforcontemptorenvy.thus,insteadofthebeggarinrags,thatihadseenattheotherdoorcursingtherichman,ihadfoundherethehappychildofthelaborerloadedwithflowersandblessinghim!theproblem,sodifficultandsodangeroustoexamineintowithnoregardbutfortherightsofit,ihadjustseensolvedbylove.



 CHAPTER V

    compensation

    sunday,may27th

    capitalcitieshaveonethingpeculiartothem:theirdaysofrestseemtobethesignalforageneraldispersionandflight.likebirdsthatarejustrestoredtoliberty,thepeoplecomeoutoftheirstonecages,andjoyfullyflytowardthecountry.itiswhoshallfindagreenhillockforaseat,ortheshadeofawoodforashelter;theygathermayflowers,theyrunaboutthefields;thetownisforgottenuntiltheevening,whentheyreturnwithsprigsofbloominghawthornintheirhats,andtheirheartsgladdenedbypleasantthoughtsandrecollectionsofthepastday;thenextdaytheyreturnagaintotheirharnessandtowork.

    theseruraladventuresaremostremarkableatparis.whenthefineweathercomes,clerks,shopkeepers,andworkingmenlookforwardimpatientlyforthesundayasthedayfortryingafewhoursofthispastorallife;theywalkthroughsixmilesofgrocersshopsandpublic-housesinthefaubourgs,inthesolehopeoffindingarealturnip-field.

    thefatherofafamilybeginsthepracticaleducationofhissonbyshowinghimwheatwhichhasnottakentheformofaloaf,andcabbage"initswildstate."heavenonlyknowstheencounters,thediscoveries,theadventuresthataremetwith!whatparisianhasnothadhisodysseyinanexcursionthroughthesuburbs,andwouldnotbeabletowriteacompaniontothefamoustravelsbylandandbyseafromparistost.

    cloud?

    wedonotnowspeakofthatfloatingpopulationfromallparts,forwhomourfrenchbabylonisthecaravansaryofeurope:aphalanxofthinkers,artists,menofbusiness,andtravellers,who,likehomershero,havearrivedintheirintellectualcountryafterbeholding"manypeoplesandcities;"butofthesettledparisian,whokeepshisappointedplace,andlivesonhisownfloorliketheoysteronhisrock,acuriousvestigeofthecredulity,theslowness,andthesimplicityofbygoneages.

    foroneofthesingularitiesofparisis,thatitunitestwentypopulationscompletelydifferentincharacterandmanners.bythesideofthegypsiesofcommerceandofart,whowanderthroughalltheseveralstagesoffortuneorfancy,liveaquietraceofpeoplewithanindependence,orwithregularwork,whoseexistenceresemblesthedialofaclock,onwhichthesamehandpointsbyturnstothesamehours.

    ifnoothercitycanshowmorebrilliantandmorestirringformsoflife,noothercontainsmoreobscureandmoretranquilones.greatcitiesarelikethesea:stormsagitateonlythesurface;ifyougotothebottom,youfindaregioninaccessibletothetumultandthenoise.

    formypart,ihavesettledonthevergeofthisregion,butdonotactuallyliveinit.iamremovedfromtheturmoiloftheworld,andliveintheshelterofsolitude,butwithoutbeingabletodisconnectmythoughtsfromthestrugglegoingon.ifollowatadistanceallitseventsofhappinessorgrief;ijointhefeastsandthefunerals;forhowcanhewholookson,andknowswhatpasses,dootherthantakepart?

    ignorancealonecankeepusstrangerstothelifearoundus:selfishnessitselfwillnotsufficeforthat.

    thesereflectionsimadetomyselfinmyattic,intheintervalsofthevarioushouseholdworkstowhichabachelorisforcedwhenhehasnootherservantthanhisownreadywill.whileiwaspursuingmydeductions,ihadblackedmyboots,brushedmycoat,andtiedmycravat;ihadatlastarrivedattheimportantmomentwhenwepronouncecomplacentlythatallisfinished,andthatwell.

    agrandresolvehadjustdecidedmetodepartfrommyusualhabits.

    theeveningbefore,ihadseenbytheadvertisementsthatthenextdaywasaholidayatsevres,andthatthechinamanufactorywouldbeopentothepublic.iwastemptedbythebeautyofthemorning,andsuddenlydecidedtogothere.

    onmyarrivalatthestationontheleftbank,inoticedthecrowdhurryingoninthefearofbeinglate.railroads,besidesmanyotheradvantages,possessthatofteachingthefrenchpunctuality.theywillsubmittotheclockwhentheyareconvincedthatitistheirmaster;theywilllearntowaitwhentheyfindtheywillnotbewaitedfor.

    socialvirtues,are,inagreatdegree,goodhabits.howmanygreatqualitiesaregraftedintonationsbytheirgeographicalposition,bypoliticalnecessity,andbyinstitutions!avaricewasdestroyedforatimeamongthelacedaemoniansbythecreationofanironcoinage,tooheavyandtoobulkytobeconvenientlyhoarded.

    ifoundmyselfinacarriagewithtwomiddle-agedwomenbelongingtothedomesticandretiredclassofparisiansihavespokenofabove.afewcivilitiesweresufficienttogainmetheirconfidence,andaftersomeminutesiwasacquaintedwiththeirwholehistory.

    theyweretwopoorsisters,leftorphansatfifteen,andhadlivedeversince,asthosewhoworkfortheirlivelihoodmustlive,byeconomyandprivation.forthelasttwentyorthirtyyearstheyhadworkedinjewelryinthesamehouse;theyhadseentenmasterssucceedoneanother,andmaketheirfortunesinit,withoutanychangeintheirownlot.theyhadalwayslivedinthesameroom,attheendofoneofthepassagesintheruest.denis,wheretheairandthesunareunknown.theybegantheirworkbeforedaylight,wentonwithittillafternightfall,andsawyearsucceedtoyearwithouttheirlivesbeingmarkedbyanyothereventsthanthesundayservice,awalk,oranillness.

    theyoungeroftheseworthywork-womenwasforty,andobeyedhersisterasshedidwhenachild.theelderlookedafterher,tookcareofher,andscoldedherwithamotherstenderness.atfirstitwasamusing;afterwardonecouldnothelpseeingsomethingaffectinginthesetwogray-hairedchildren,oneunabletoleaveoffthehabitofobeying,theotherthatofprotecting.

    anditwasnotinthatalonethatmytwocompanionsseemedyoungerthantheiryears;theyknewsolittlethattheirwonderneverceased.wehadhardlyarrivedatclamartbeforetheyinvoluntarilyexclaimed,likethekinginthechildrensgame,thatthey"didnotthinktheworldwassogreat"!

    itwasthefirsttimetheyhadtrustedthemselvesonarailroad,anditwasamusingtoseetheirsuddenshocks,theiralarms,andtheircourageousdeterminations:everythingwasamarveltothem!theyhadremainsofyouthwithinthem,whichmadethemsensibletothingswhichusuallyonlystrikeusinchildhood.poorcreatures!theyhadstillthefeelingsofanotherage,thoughtheyhadlostitscharms.

    butwastherenotsomethingholyinthissimplicity,whichhadbeenpreservedtothembyabstinencefromallthejoysoflife?ah!accursedbehewhofirsthadthehadcouragetoattachridiculetothatnameof"oldmaid,"whichrecallssomanyimagesofgrievousdeception,ofdreariness,andofabandonment!accursedbehewhocanfindasubjectforsarcasmininvoluntarymisfortune,andwhocancrowngrayhairswiththorns!

    thetwosisterswerecalledfrancesandmadeleine.thisdaysjourneywasafeatofcouragewithoutexampleintheirlives.thefeverofthetimeshadinfectedthemunawares.yesterdaymadeleinehadsuddenlyproposedtheideaoftheexpedition,andfranceshadaccepteditimmediately.perhapsitwouldhavebeenbetternottoyieldtothegreattemptationofferedbyheryoungersister;but"wehaveourfolliesatallages,"astheprudentfrancesphilosophicallyremarked.asformadeleine,therearenoregretsordoubtsforher;sheisthelife-guardsmanoftheestablishment.

    "wereallymustamuseourselves,"saidshe;"welivebutonce."

    andtheeldersistersmiledatthisepicureanmaxim.itwasevidentthatthefeverofindependencewasatitscrisisinbothofthem.

    andintruthitwouldhavebeenagreatpityifanyscruplehadinterferedwiththeirhappiness,itwassofrankandgenial!thesightofthetrees,whichseemedtoflyonbothsidesoftheroad,causedthemunceasingadmiration.themeetingatrainpassinginthecontrarydirection,withthenoiseandrapidityofathunderbolt,madethemshuttheireyesandutteracry;butithadalreadydisappeared!theylookaround,takecourageagain,andexpressthemselvesfullofastonishmentatthemarvel.

    madeleinedeclaresthatsuchasightisworththeexpenseofthejourney,andfranceswouldhaveagreedwithherifshehadnotrecollected,withsomelittlealarm,thedeficitwhichsuchanexpensemustmakeintheirbudget.thethreefrancsspentuponthissingleexpeditionwerethesavingsofawholeweekofwork.thusthejoyoftheelderofthetwosisterswasmixedwithremorse;theprodigalchildnowandthenturneditseyestowardthebackstreetofst.denis.

    butthemotionandthesuccessionofobjectsdistracther.seethebridgeofthevalsurroundedbyitslovelylandscape:ontheright,pariswithitsgrandmonuments,whichrisethroughthefog,orsparkleinthesun;ontheleft,meudon,withitsvillas,itswoods,itsvines,anditsroyalcastle!thetwowork-womenlookfromonewindowtotheotherwithexclamationsofdelight.onefellow-passengerlaughsattheirchildishwonder;buttomeitisdeeplytouching,foriseeinitthesignofalongandmonotonousseclusion:theyaretheprisonersofwork,whohaverecoveredlibertyandfreshairforafewhours.

    atlastthetrainstops,andwegetout.ishowthetwosistersthepaththatleadstosevres,betweentherailwayandthegardens,andtheygoonbefore,whileiinquireaboutthetimeofreturning.

    isoonjointhemagainatthenextstation,wheretheyhavestoppedatthelittlegardenbelongingtothegatekeeper;botharealreadyindeepconversationwithhimwhilehedigshisgarden-borders,andmarksouttheplacesforflower-seeds.heinformsthemthatitisthetimeforhoeingoutweeds,formakinggraftsandlayers,forsowingannuals,andfordestroyingtheinsectsontherose-trees.madeleinehasonthesillofherwindowtwowoodenboxes,inwhich,forwantofairandsun,shehasneverbeenabletomakeanythinggrowbutmustardandcress;butshepersuadesherselfthat,thankstothisinformation,allotherplantsmayhenceforththriveinthem.atlastthegatekeeper,whoissowingaborderwithmignonette,giveshertherestoftheseedswhichhedoesnotwant,andtheoldmaidgoesoffdelighted,andbeginstoactoveragainthedreamofpairedandhercanofmilk,withtheseflowersofherimagination.

    onreachingthegroveofacacias,wherethefairwasgoingon,ilostsightofthetwosisters.iwentaloneamongthesights:therewerelotteriesgoingon,mountebankshows,placesforeatinganddrinking,andforshootingwiththecross-bow.ihavealwaysbeenstruckbythespiritoftheseout-of-doorfestivities.indrawing-roomentertainments,peoplearecold,grave,oftenlistless,andmostofthosewhogotherearebroughttogetherbyhabitortheobligationsofsociety;inthecountryassemblies,onthecontrary,youonlyfindthosewhoareattractedbythehopeofenjoyment.there,itisaforcedconscription;here,theyarevolunteersforgayety!then,howeasilytheyarepleased!howfarthiscrowdofpeopleisyetfromknowingthattobepleasedwithnothing,andtolookdownoneverything,istheheightoffashionandgoodtaste!

    doubtlesstheiramusementsareoftencoarse;eleganceandrefinementarewantinginthem;butatleasttheyhaveheartiness.oh,thattheheartyenjoymentsofthesemerry-makingscouldberetainedinunionwithlessvulgarfeeling!formerlyreligionstampeditsholycharacteronthecelebrationofcountryfestivals,andpurifiedthepleasureswithoutdeprivingthemoftheirsimplicity.

    thehourarrivesatwhichthedoorsoftheporcelainmanufactoryandthemuseumofpotteryareopentothepublic.imeetfrancesandmadeleineagaininthefirstroom.frightenedatfindingthemselvesinthemidstofsuchregalmagnificence,theyhardlydarewalk;theyspeakinalowtone,asiftheywereinachurch.

    "weareinthekingshouse,"saidtheeldestsister,forgettingthatthereisnolongerakinginfrance.

    iencouragethemtogoon;iwalkfirst,andtheymakeuptheirmindstofollowme.

    whatwondersarebroughttogetherinthiscollection!hereweseeclaymouldedintoeveryshape,tintedwitheverycolor,andcombinedwitheverysortofsubstance!

    earthandwoodarethefirstsubstancesworkeduponbyman,andseemmoreparticularlymeantforhisuse.they,likethedomesticanimals,aretheessentialaccessoriesofhislife;thereforetheremustbeamoreintimateconnectionbetweenthemandus.stoneandmetalsrequirelongpreparations;theyresistourfirstefforts,andbelonglesstotheindividualthantocommunities.earthandwoodare,onthecontrary,theprincipalinstrumentsoftheisolatedbeingwhomustfeedandshelterhimself.

    this,doubtless,makesmefeelsomuchinterestedinthecollectioniamexamining.thesecups,soroughlymodelledbythesavage,admitmetoaknowledgeofsomeofhishabits;theseelegantyetincorrectlyformedvasesoftheindiantellmeofadecliningintelligence,——inwhichstillglimmersthetwilightofwhatwasoncebrightsunshine;thesejars,loadedwitharabesques,showthefancyofthearabrudelyandignorantlycopiedbythespaniard!wefindherethestampofeveryrace,everycountry,andeveryage.

    mycompanionsseemedlittleinterestedinthesehistoricalassociations;theylookedatallwiththatcredulousadmirationwhichleavesnoroomforexaminationordiscussion.madeleinereadthenamewrittenundereverypieceofworkmanship,andhersisteransweredwithanexclamationofwonder.

    inthiswaywereachedalittlecourtyard,wheretheyhadthrownawaythefragmentsofsomebrokenchina.

    francesperceivedacoloredsauceralmostwhole,ofwhichshetookpossessionasarecordofthevisitshewasmaking;henceforthshewouldhaveaspecimenofthesevreschina,"whichisonlymadeforkings!"

    iwouldnotundeceiveherbytellingherthattheproductsofthemanufactoryaresoldallovertheworld,andthathersaucer,beforeitwascracked,wasthesameasthosethatareboughtattheshopsforsixpence!whyshouldidestroytheillusionsofherhumbleexistence?

    arewetobreakdownthehedge-flowersthatperfumeourpaths?thingsareoftenestnothinginthemselves;thethoughtsweattachtothemalonegivethemvalue.torectifyinnocentmistakes,inordertorecoversomeuselessreality,istobelikethoselearnedmenwhowillseenothinginaplantbutthechemicalelementsofwhichitiscomposed.

    onleavingthemanufactory,thetwosisters,whohadtakenpossessionofmewiththefreedomofartlessness,invitedmetosharetheluncheontheyhadbroughtwiththem.ideclinedatfirst,buttheyinsistedwithsomuchgood-nature,thatifearedtopainthem,andwithsomeawkwardnessgaveway.

    wehadonlytolookforaconvenientspot.iledthemupthehill,andwefoundaplotofgrassenamelledwithdaisies,andshadedbytwowalnut-trees.

    madeleinecouldnotcontainherselfforjoy.allherlifeshehaddreamedofadinneroutonthegrass!whilehelpinghersistertotaketheprovisionsfromthebasket,shetellsmeofallherexpeditionsintothecountrythathadbeenplanned,andputoff.frances,ontheotherhand,wasbroughtupatmontmorency,andbeforeshebecameanorphanshehadoftengonebacktohernurseshouse.thatwhichhadtheattractionofnoveltyforhersister,hadforherthecharmofrecollection.shetoldofthevintageharveststowhichherparentshadtakenher;theridesonmotherluretsdonkey,thattheycouldnotmakegototherightwithoutpullinghimtotheleft;thecherry-gathering;andthesailsonthelakeintheinnkeepersboat.

    theserecollectionshaveallthecharmandfreshnessofchildhood.

    francesrecallstoherselflesswhatshehasseenthanwhatshehasfelt.

    whilesheistalkingtheclothislaid,andwesitdownunderatree.

    beforeuswindsthevalleyofsevres,itsmany-storiedhousesabuttinguponthegardensandtheslopesofthehill;ontheothersidespreadsouttheparkofst.cloud,withitsmagnificentclumpsoftreesinterspersedwithmeadows;abovestretchtheheavenslikeanimmenseocean,inwhichthecloudsaresailing!ilookatthisbeautifulcountry,andilistentothesegoodoldmaids;iadmire,andiaminterested;andtimepassesgentlyonwithoutmyperceivingit.

    atlastthesunsets,andwehavetothinkofreturning.whilemadeleineandfrancesclearawaythedinner,iwalkdowntothemanufactorytoaskthehour.themerrymakingisatitsheight;theblastsofthetrombonesresoundfromthebandundertheacacias.forafewmomentsiforgetmyselfwithlookingabout;butihavepromisedthetwosisterstotakethembacktothebellevuestation;thetraincannotwait,andimakehastetoclimbthepathagainwhichleadstothewalnut-trees.

    justbeforeireachedthem,iheardvoicesontheothersideofthehedge.madeleineandfranceswerespeakingtoapoorgirlwhoseclotheswereburned,herhandsblackened,andherfacetiedupwithbloodstainedbandages.isawthatshewasoneofthegirlsemployedatthegunpowdermills,whicharebuiltfurtheruponthecommon.anexplosionhadtakenplaceafewdaysbefore;thegirlsmotherandeldersisterwerekilled;sheherselfescapedbyamiracle,andwasnowleftwithoutanymeansofsupport.shetoldallthiswiththeresignedandunhopefulmannerofonewhohasalwaysbeenaccustomedtosuffer.thetwosistersweremuchaffected;isawthemconsultingwitheachotherinalowtone:thenfrancestookthirtysousoutofalittlecoarsesilkpurse,whichwasalltheyhadleft,andgavethemtothepoorgirl.ihastenedontothatsideofthehedge;but,beforeireachedit,imetthetwooldsisters,whocalledouttomethattheywouldnotreturnbytherailway,butonfoot!

    ithenunderstoodthatthemoneytheyhadmeantforthejourneyhadjustbeengiventothebeggar!good,likeevil,iscontagious:iruntothepoorwoundedgirl,giveherthesumthatwastopayformyownplace,andreturntofrancesandmadeleine,andtellthemiwillwalkwiththem

    iamjustcomebackfromtakingthemhome;andhaveleftthemdelightedwiththeirday,therecollectionofwhichwilllongmakethemhappy.

    thismorningiwaspityingthosewhoselivesareobscureandjoyless;now,iunderstandthatgodhasprovidedacompensationwitheverytrial.

    thesmallestpleasurederivesfromrarityarelishotherwiseunknown.

    enjoymentisonlywhatwefeeltobesuch,andtheluxuriousmanfeelsnolonger:satietyhasdestroyedhisappetite,whileprivationpreservestotheotherthatfirstofearthlyblessings:thebeingeasilymadehappy.

    oh,thaticouldpersuadeeveryoneofthis!thatsotherichmightnotabusetheirriches,andthatthepoormighthavepatience.ifhappinessistherarestofblessings,itisbecausethereceptionofitistherarestofvirtues.

    madeleineandfrances!yepooroldmaidswhosecourage,resignation,andgenerousheartsareyouronlywealth,prayforthewretchedwhogivethemselvesuptodespair;fortheunhappywhohateandenvy;andfortheunfeelingintowhoseenjoymentsnopityenters



 CHAPTER VI

    unclemaurice

    june7th,fouroclocka.m.

    iamnotsurprisedathearing,wheniawake,thebirdssingingsojoyfullyoutsidemywindow;itisonlybyliving,astheyandido,inatopstory,thatonecomestoknowhowcheerfulthemorningsreallyareupamongtheroofs.itistherethatthesunsendshisfirstrays,andthebreezecomeswiththefragranceofthegardensandwoods;therethatawanderingbutterflysometimesventuresamongtheflowersoftheattic,andthatthesongsoftheindustriouswork-womanwelcomethedawnofday.

    thelowerstoriesarestilldeepinsleep,silence,andshadow,whileherelabor,light,andsongalreadyreign.

    whatlifeisaroundme!seetheswallowreturningfromhersearchforfood,withherbeakfullofinsectsforheryoungones;thesparrowsshakethedewfromtheirwingswhiletheychaseoneanotherinthesunshine;andmynei***orsthrowopentheirwindows,andwelcomethemorningwiththeirfreshfaces!delightfulhourofwaking,wheneverythingreturnstofeelingandtomotion;whenthefirstlightofdaystrikesuponcreation,andbringsittolifeagain,asthemagicwandstruckthepalaceofthesleepingbeautyinthewood!itisamomentofrestfromeverymisery;thesufferingsofthesickareallayed,andabreathofhopeentersintotheheartsofthedespairing.but,alas!itisbutashortrespite!everythingwillsoonresumeitswontedcourse:

    thegreathumanmachine,withitslongstrains,itsdeepgasps,itscollisions,anditscrashes,willbeagainputinmotion.

    thetranquillityofthisfirstmorninghourremindsmeofthatofourfirstyearsoflife.then,too,thesunshinesbrightly,theairisfragrant,andtheillusionsofyouth-thosebirdsofourlifesmorning-singaroundus.whydotheyflyawaywhenweareolder?wheredothissadnessandthissolitude,whichgraduallystealuponus,comefrom?thecourseseemstobethesamewithindividualsandwithcommunities:atstarting,soreadilymadehappy,soeasilyenchanted;andatthegoal,thebitterdisappointmentorreality!theroad,whichbeganamonghawthornsandprimroses,endsspeedilyindesertsorinprecipices!whyistheresomuchconfidenceatfirst,somuchdoubtatlast?has,then,theknowledgeoflifenootherendbuttomakeitunfitforhappiness?

    mustwecondemnourselvestoignoranceifwewouldpreservehope?istheworldandistheindividualmanintended,afterall,tofindrestonlyinaneternalchildhood?

    howmanytimeshaveiaskedmyselfthesequestions!solitudehastheadvantageorthedangerofmakinguscontinuallysearchmoredeeplyintothesameideas.asourdiscourseisonlywithourself,wealwaysgivethesamedirectiontotheconversation;wearenotcalledtoturnittothesubjectwhichoccupiesanothermind,orinterestsanothersfeelings;andsoaninvoluntaryinclinationmakesusreturnforevertoknockatthesamedoors!

    iinterruptedmyreflectionstoputmyatticinorder.ihatethelookofdisorder,becauseitshowseitheracontemptfordetailsoranunaptnessforspirituallife.toarrangethethingsamongwhichwehavetolive,istoestablishtherelationofpropertyandofusebetweenthemandus:itistolaythefoundationofthosehabitswithoutwhichmantendstothesavagestate.what,infact,issocialorganizationbutaseriesofhabits,settledinaccordancewiththedispositionsofournature?

    idistrustboththeintellectandthemoralityofthosepeopletowhomdisorderisofnoconsequence——whocanliveateaseinanaugeanstable.

    whatsurroundsus,reflectsmoreorlessthatwhichiswithinus.themindislikeoneofthosedarklanternswhich,inspiteofeverything,stillthrowsomelightaround.ifourtastesdidnotrevealourcharacter,theywouldbenolongertastes,butinstincts.

    whileiwasarrangingeverythinginmyattic,myeyesrestedonthelittlealmanachangingovermychimney-piece.ilookedforthedayofthemonth,andisawthesewordswritteninlargeletters:"fetedieu!"

    itisto-day!inthisgreatcity,wheretherearenolongeranypublicreligioussolemnities,thereisnothingtoremindusofit;butitis,intruth,theperiodsohappilychosenbytheprimitivechurch."thedaykeptinhonorofthecreator,"sayschateaubriand,"happensatatimewhentheheavenandtheearthdeclarehispower,whenthewoodsandfieldsarefullofnewlife,andallareunitedbythehappiestties;thereisnotasinglewidowedplantinthefields."

    whatrecollectionsthesewordshavejustawakened!ileftoffwhatiwasabout,ileanedmyelbowsonthewindowsill,and,withmyheadbetweenmytwohands,iwentbackinthoughttothelittletownwherethefirstdaysofmychildhoodwerepassed.

    thefetedieuwasthenoneofthegreateventsofmylife!itwasnecessarytobediligentandobedientalongtimebeforehand,todeservetoshareinit.istillrecollectwithwhatrapturesofexpectationigotuponthemorningoftheday.therewasaholyjoyintheair.thenei***ors,upearlierthanusual,hungclothswithflowersorfigures,workedintapestry,alongthestreets.iwentfromonetoanother,byturnsadmiringreligiousscenesofthemiddleages,mythologicalcompositionsoftherenaissance,oldbattlesinthestyleoflouisxiv,andthearcadiasofmadamedepompadour.allthisworldofphantomsseemedtobecomingforthfromthedustofpastages,toassist——silentandmotionless——attheholyceremony.ilooked,alternatelyinfearandwonder,atthoseterriblewarriorswiththeirswordsalwaysraised,thosebeautifulhuntressesshootingthearrowwhichneverleftthebow,andthoseshepherdsinsatinbreechesalwaysplayingthefluteatthefeetoftheperpetuallysmilingshepherdess.sometimes,whenthewindblewbehindthesehangingpictures,itseemedtomethatthefiguresthemselvesmoved,andiwatchedtoseethemdetachthemselvesfromthewall,andtaketheirplacesintheprocession!buttheseimpressionswerevagueandtransitory.thefeelingthatpredominatedovereveryotherwasthatofanoverflowingyetquietjoy.inthemidstofallthefloatingdraperies,thescatteredflowers,thevoicesofthemaidens,andthegladnesswhich,likeaperfume,exhaledfromeverything,youfelttransportedinspiteofyourself.thejoyfulsoundsofthefestivalwererepeatedinyourheart,inathousandmelodiousechoes.youweremoreindulgent,moreholy,moreloving!forgodwasnotonlymanifestinghimselfwithout,butalsowithinus.

    andthenthealtarsfortheoccasion!thefloweryarbors!thetriumphalarchesmadeofgreenboughs!whatcompetitionamongthedifferentparishesfortheerectionoftheresting-placeswheretheprocessionwastohalt!itwaswhoshouldcontributetherarestandthemostbeautifulofhispossessions!

    itwasthereimademyfirstsacrifice!

    thewreathsofflowerswerearranged,thecandleslighted,andthetabernacledressedwithroses;butonewaswantingfittocrownthewhole!allthenei***oringgardenshadbeenransacked.ialonepossessedaflowerworthyofsuchaplace.itwasontherose-treegivenmebymymotheronmybirthday.ihadwatcheditforseveralmonths,andtherewasnootherbudtoblowonthetree.thereitwas,halfopen,initsmossynest,theobjectofsuchlongexpectations,andofallachildspride!ihesitatedforsomemoments.noonehadaskedmeforit;imighteasilyavoidlosingit.ishouldhearnoreproaches,butonerosenoiselesslywithinme.wheneveryoneelsehadgivenalltheyhad,oughtialonetokeepbackmytreasure?oughtitogrudgetogodoneofthegiftswhich,likealltherest,ihadreceivedfromhim?atthislastthoughtipluckedtheflowerfromthestem,andtookittoputatthetopofthetabernacle.ah!whydoestherecollectionofthissacrifice,whichwassohardandyetsosweettome,nowmakemesmile?

    isitsocertainthatthevalueofagiftisinitself,ratherthanintheintention?ifthecupofcoldwaterinthegospelisrememberedtothepoorman,whyshouldnottheflowerberememberedtothechild?letusnotlookdownuponthechildssimpleactofgenerosity;itisthesewhichaccustomthesoultoself-denialandtosympathy.icherishedthismoss-rosealongtimeasasacredtalisman;ihadreasontocherishitalways,astherecordofthefirstvictorywonovermyself.

    itisnowmanyyearssinceiwitnessedthecelebrationofthefetedieu;butshouldiagainfeelinitthehappysensationsofformerdays?

    istillrememberhow,whentheprocessionhadpassed,iwalkedthroughthestreetsstrewedwithflowersandshadedwithgreenboughs.ifeltintoxicatedbythelingeringperfumesoftheincense,mixedwiththefragranceofsyringas,jessamine,androses,andiseemednolongertotouchthegroundasiwentalong.ismiledateverything;thewholeworldwasparadiseinmyeyes,anditseemedtomethatgodwasfloatingintheair!

    moreover,thisfeelingwasnottheexcitementofthemoment:itmightbemoreintenseoncertaindays,butatthesametimeitcontinuedthroughtheordinarycourseofmylife.manyyearsthuspassedformeinanexpansionofheart,andatrustfulnesswhichpreventedsorrow,ifnotfromcoming,atleastfromstayingwithme.sureofnotbeingalone,isoontookheartagain,likethechildwhorecoversitscourage,becauseithearsitsmothersvoicecloseby.whyhaveilostthatconfidenceofmychildhood?shallineverfeelagainsodeeplythatgodishere?

    howstrangetheassociationofourthoughts!adayofthemonthrecallsmyinfancy,andsee,alltherecollectionsofmyformeryearsaregrowinguparoundme!whywasisohappythen?iconsiderwell,andnothingissensiblychangedinmycondition.ipossess,asididthen,healthandmydailybread;theonlydifferenceis,thatiamnowresponsibleformyself!asachild,iacceptedlifewhenitcame;anothercaredandprovidedforme.solongasifulfilledmypresentdutiesiwasatpeacewithin,andileftthefuturetotheprudenceofmyfather!mydestinywasaship,inthedirectingofwhichihadnoshare,andinwhichisailedasacommonpassenger.therewasthewholesecretofchildhoodshappysecurity.sincethenworldlywisdomhasdeprivedmeofit.whenmylotwasintrustedtomyownandsolekeeping,ithoughttomakemyselfmasterofitbymeansofalonginsightintothefuture.ihavefilledthepresenthourwithanxieties,byoccupyingmythoughtswiththefuture;ihaveputmyjudgmentintheplaceofprovidence,andthehappychildischangedintotheanxiousman.

    amelancholycourse,yetperhapsanimportantlesson.whoknowsthat,ifihadtrustedmoretohimwhorulestheworld,ishouldnothavebeensparedallthisanxiety?itmaybethathappinessisnotpossibleherebelow,exceptonconditionoflivinglikeachild,givingourselvesuptothedutiesofeachdayasitcomes,andtrustinginthegoodnessofourheavenlyfatherforallbesides.

    thisremindsmeofmyunclemaurice!wheneverihaveneedtostrengthenmyselfinallthatisgood,iturnmythoughtstohim;iseeagainthegentleexpressionofhishalf-smiling,half-mournfulface;ihearhisvoice,alwayssoftandsoothingasabreathofsummer!theremembranceofhimprotectsmylife,andgivesitlight.he,too,wasasaintandmartyrherebelow.othershavepointedoutthepathofheaven;hehastaughtustoseethoseofeartharight.

    but,excepttheangels,whoarechargedwithnotingdownthesacrificesperformedinsecret,andthevirtueswhichareneverknown,whohaseverheardofmyunclemaurice?perhapsialonerememberhisname,andstillrecallhishistory.

    well!iwillwriteit,notforothers,butformyself!theysaythat,atthesightoftheapollo,thebodyerectsitselfandassumesamoredignifiedattitude:inthesameway,thesoulshouldfeelitselfraisedandennobledbytherecollectionofagoodmanslife!

    arayoftherisingsunlightsupthelittletableonwhichiwrite;thebreezebringsmeinthescentofthemignonette,andtheswallowswheelaboutmywindowwithjoyfultwitterings.theimageofmyunclemauricewillbeinitsproperplaceamidthesongs,thesunshine,andthefragrance.

    sevenoclock——itiswithmenslivesaswithdays:somedawnradiantwithathousandcolors,othersdarkwithgloomyclouds.thatofmyunclemauricewasoneofthelatter.hewassosickly,whenhecameintotheworld,thattheythoughthemustdie;butnotwithstandingtheseanticipations,whichmightbecalledhopes,hecontinuedtolive,sufferinganddeformed.

    hewasdeprivedofalljoysaswellasofalltheattractionsofchildhood.hewasoppressedbecausehewasweak,andlaughedatforhisdeformity.invainthelittlehunchbackopenedhisarmstotheworld:

    theworldscoffedathim,andwentitsway.

    however,hestillhadhismother,anditwastoherthatthechilddirectedallthefeelingsofaheartrepelledbyothers.withherhefoundshelter,andwashappy,tillhereachedtheagewhenamanmusttakehisplaceinlife;andmauricehadtocontenthimselfwiththatwhichothershadrefusedwithcontempt.hiseducationwouldhavequalifiedhimforanycourseoflife;andhebecameanoctroi-clerk——[theoctroiisthetaxonprovisionsleviedattheentranceofthetown]——inoneofthelittletoll-housesattheentranceofhisnativetown.

    hewasalwaysshutupinthisdwellingofafewfeetsquare,withnorelaxationfromtheofficeaccountsbutreadingandhismothersvisits.

    onfinesummerdaysshecametoworkatthedoorofhishut,undertheshadeofaclematisplantedbymaurice.and,evenwhenshewassilent,herpresencewasapleasantchangeforthehunchback;heheardtheclinkingofherlongknitting-needles;hesawhermildandmournfulprofile,whichremindedhimofsomanycourageously-bornetrials;hecouldeverynowandthenresthishandaffectionatelyonthatbowedneck,andexchangeasmilewithher!

    thiscomfortwassoontobetakenfromhim.hisoldmotherfellsick,andattheendofafewdayshehadtogiveupallhope.mauricewasovercomeattheideaofaseparationwhichwouldhenceforthleavehimaloneonearth,andabandonedhimselftoboundlessgrief.hekneltbythebedsideofthedyingwoman,hecalledherbythefondestnames,hepressedherinhisarms,asifhecouldsokeepherinlife.hismothertriedtoreturnhiscaresses,andtoanswerhim;butherhandswerecold,hervoicewasalreadygone.shecouldonlypressherlipsagainsttheforeheadofherson,heaveasigh,andclosehereyesforever!

    theytriedtotakemauriceaway,butheresistedthemandthrewhimselfonthatnowmotionlessform.

    "dead!"criedhe;"dead!shewhohadneverleftme,shewhowastheonlyoneintheworldwholovedme!you,mymother,dead!whatthenremainsformeherebelow?"

    astifledvoicereplied:

    "god!"

    maurice,startled,raisedhimself!wasthatalastsighfromthedead,orhisownconscience,thathadansweredhim?hedidnotseektoknow,butheunderstoodtheanswer,andacceptedit.

    itwasthenthatifirstknewhim.ioftenwenttoseehiminhislittletoll-house.hejoinedinmychildishgames,toldmehisfineststories,andletmegatherhisflowers.deprivedashewasofallexternalattractiveness,heshowedhimselffullofkindnesstoallwhocametohim,and,thoughheneverwouldputhimselfforward,hehadawelcomeforeveryone.deserted,despised,hesubmittedtoeverythingwithagentlepatience;andwhilehewasthusstretchedonthecrossoflife,amidtheinsultsofhisexecutioners,herepeatedwithchrist,"father,forgivethem,fortheyknownotwhattheydo."

    nootherclerkshowedsomuchhonesty,zeal,andintelligence;butthosewhootherwisemighthavepromotedhimashisservicesdeservedwererepelledbyhisdeformity.ashehadnopatrons,hefoundhisclaimswerealwaysdisregarded.theypreferredbeforehimthosewhowerebetterabletomakethemselvesagreeable,andseemedtobegrantinghimafavorwhenlettinghimkeepthehumbleofficewhichenabledhimtolive.unclemauriceboreinjusticeashehadbornecontempt;unfairlytreatedbymen,heraisedhiseyeshigher,andtrustedinthejusticeofhimwhocannotbedeceived.

    helivedinanoldhouseinthesuburb,wheremanywork-people,aspoorbutnotasforlornashe,alsolodged.amongthesenei***orstherewasasinglewoman,wholivedbyherselfinalittlegarret,intowhichcamebothwindandrain.shewasayounggirl,pale,silent,andwithnothingtorecommendherbutherwretchednessandherresignationtoit.shewasneverseenspeakingtoanyotherwoman,andnosongcheeredhergarret.

    sheworkedwithoutinterestandwithoutrelaxation;adepressinggloomseemedtoenvelopherlikeashroud.herdejectionaffectedmaurice;heattemptedtospeaktoher;sherepliedmildly,butinfewwords.itwaseasytoseethatshepreferredhersilenceandhersolitudetothelittlehunchbacksgood-will;heperceivedit,andsaidnomore.

    buttoinettesneedlewashardlysufficientforhersupport,andpresentlyworkfailedher!mauricelearnedthatthepoorgirlwasinwantofeverything,andthatthetradesmenrefusedtogivehercredit.

    heimmediatelywenttothemprivatelyandengagedtopaythemforwhattheysuppliedtoinettewith.

    thingswentoninthiswayforseveralmonths.theyoungdressmakercontinuedoutofwork,untilshewasatlastfrightenedatthebillsshehadcontractedwiththeshopkeepers.whenshecametoanexplanationwiththem,everythingwasdiscovered.herfirstimpulsewastoruntounclemaurice,andthankhimonherknees.herhabitualreservehadgivenwaytoaburstofdeepestfeeling.itseemedasifgratitudehadmeltedalltheiceofthatnumbedheart.

    beingnownolongerembarrassedwithasecret,thelittlehunchbackcouldgivegreaterefficacytohisgoodoffices.toinettebecametohimasister,forwhosewantshehadarighttoprovide.itwasthefirsttimesincethedeathofhismotherthathehadbeenabletosharehislifewithanother.theyoungwomanreceivedhisattentionswithfeeling,butwithreserve.allmauriceseffortswereinsufficienttodispelhergloom:sheseemedtouchedbyhiskindness,andsometimesexpressedhersenseofitwithwarmth;butthereshestopped.herheartwasaclosedbook,whichthelittlehunchbackmightbendover,butcouldnotread.intruthhecaredlittletodoso;hegavehimselfuptothehappinessofbeingnolongeralone,andtooktoinettesuchasherlongtrialshadmadeher;helovedherasshewas,andwishedfornothingelsebutstilltoenjoyhercompany.

    thisthoughtinsensiblytookpossessionofhismind,totheexclusionofallbesides.thepoorgirlwasasforlornashimself;shehadbecomeaccustomedtothedeformityofthehunchback,andsheseemedtolookonhimwithanaffectionatesympathy!whatmorecouldhewishfor?untilthen,thehopesofmakinghimselfacceptabletoahelpmatehadbeenrepelledbymauriceasadream;butchanceseemedwillingtomakeitareality.aftermuchhesitationhetookcourage,anddecidedtospeaktoher.

    itwasevening;thelittlehunchback,inmuchagitation,directedhisstepstowardthework-womansgarretjustashewasabouttoenter,hethoughtheheardastrangevoicepronouncingthemaidensname.hequicklypushedopenthedoor,andperceivedtoinetteweeping,andleaningontheshoulderofayoungmaninthedressofasailor.

    atthesightofmyuncle,shedisengagedherselfquickly,andrantohim,cryingout:

    "ah!comein——comein!itishethatithoughtwasdead:itisjulien;itismybetrothed!"

    mauricetottered,anddrewback.asinglewordhadtoldhimall!

    itseemedtohimasifthegroundshookandhisheartwasabouttobreak;butthesamevoicethathehadheardbyhismothersdeathbedagainsoundedinhisears,andhesoonrecoveredhimself.godwasstillhisfriend!

    hehimselfaccompaniedthenewly-marriedpairontheroadwhentheyleftthetown,and,afterwishingthemallthehappinesswhichwasdeniedtohim,hereturnedwithresignationtotheoldhouseinthesuburb.

    itwastherethatheendedhislife,forsakenbymen,butnotashesaidbythefatherwhichisinheaven.hefelthispresenceeverywhere;itwastohimintheplaceofallelse.whenhedied,itwaswithasmile,andlikeanexilesettingoutforhisowncountry.hewhohadconsoledhiminpovertyandill-health,whenhewassufferingfrominjusticeandforsakenbyall,hadmadedeathagainandblessingtohim.

    eightoclock——allihavejustwrittenhaspainedme!tillnowihavelookedintolifeforinstructionhowtolive.isitthentruethathumanmaximsarenotalwayssufficient?thatbeyondgoodness,prudence,moderation,humility,self-sacrificeitself,thereisonegreattruth,whichalonecanfacegreatmisfortunes?andthat,ifmanhasneedofvirtuesforothers,hehasneedofreligionforhimself?

    when,inyouth,wedrinkourwinewithamerryheart,asthescriptureexpressesit,wethinkwearesufficientforourselves;strong,happy,andbeloved,webelieve,likeajax,weshallbeabletoescapeeverystorminspiteofthegods.butlaterinlife,whenthebackisbowed,whenhappinessprovesafadingflower,andtheaffectionsgrowchill-then,infearofthevoidandthedarkness,westretchoutourarms,likethechildovertakenbynight,andwecallforhelptohimwhoiseverywhere.

    iwasaskingthismorningwhythisgrowingconfusionalikeforsocietyandfortheindividual?invaindoeshumanreasonfromhourtohourlightsomenewtorchontheroadside:thenightcontinuestogroweverdarker!isitnotbecausewearecontenttowithdrawfartherandfartherfromgod,thesunofspirits?

    butwhatdothesehermitsreveriessignifytotheworld?theinwardturmoilsofmostmenarestifledbytheoutwardones;lifedoesnotgivethemtimetoquestionthemselves.havetheytimetoknowwhattheyare,andwhattheyshouldbe,whosewholethoughtsareinthenextleaseorthelastpriceofstock?heavenisveryhigh,andwisemenlookonlyattheearth.

    buti——poorsavageamidallthiscivilization,whoseekneitherpowernorriches,andwhohavefoundinmyownthoughtsthehomeandshelterofmyspirit——icangobackwithimpunitytotheserecollectionsofmychildhood;and,ifthisourgreatcitynolongerhonorsthenameofgodwithafestival,iwillstrivestilltokeepthefeasttohiminmyheart.



 CHAPTER VII

    thepriceofpowerandtheworthoffame

    sunday,july1st.

    yesterdaythemonthdedicatedtojuno(junius,june)bytheromansended.

    to-dayweenteronjuly.

    inancientromethislattermonthwascalledquintiles(thefifth),becausetheyear,whichwasthendividedintoonlytenparts,beganinmarch.whennumapompiliusdivideditintotwelvemonthsthisnameofquintileswaspreserved,aswellasthosethatfollowed——sexteles,september,october,november,december——althoughthesedesignationsdidnotaccordwiththenewlyarrangedorderofthemonths.atlast,afteratimethemonthquintiles,inwhichjuliuscaesarwasborn,wascalledjulius,whencewehavejuly.thusthisname,placedinthecalendar,isbecometheimperishablerecordofagreatman;itisanimmortalepitaphontimeshighway,engravedbytheadmirationofman.

    howmanysimilarinscriptionsarethere!seas,continents,mountains,stars,andmonuments,haveallinsuccessionservedthesamepurpose!wehaveturnedthewholeworldintoagoldenbook,likethatinwhichthestateofveniceusedtoenrollitsillustriousnamesanditsgreatdeeds.

    itseemsthatmankindfeelsanecessityforhonoringitselfinitselectones,andthatitraisesitselfinitsowneyesbychoosingheroesfromamongitsownrace.thehumanfamilylovetopreservethememory;oftheparvenusofglory,aswecherishthatofagreatancestor,orofabenefactor.

    infact,thetalentsgrantedtoasingleindividualdonotbenefithimselfalone,butaregiftstotheworld;everyonesharesthem,foreveryonesuffersorbenefitsbyhisactions.geniusisalighthouse,meanttogivelightfromafar;themanwhobearsitisbuttherockuponwhichthislighthouseisbuilt.

    ilovetodwelluponthesethoughts;theyexplaintomeinwhatconsistsouradmirationforglory.whengloryhasbenefitedmen,thatadmirationisgratitude;whenitisonlyremarkableinitself,itistheprideofrace;asmen,welovetoimmortalizethemostshiningexamplesofhumanity.

    whoknowswhetherwedonotobeythesameinstinctinsubmittingtothehandofpower?apartfromtherequirementsofagradationofranks,ortheconsequencesofaconquest,themultitudedelighttosurroundtheirchiefswithprivileges——whetheritbethattheirvanitymakesthemthustoaggrandizeoneoftheirowncreations,orwhethertheytrytoconcealthehumiliationofsubjectionbyexaggeratingtheimportanceofthosewhorulethem.theywishtohonorthemselvesthroughtheirmaster;theyelevatehimontheirshouldersasonapedestal;theysurroundhimwithahalooflight,inorderthatsomeofitmaybereflecteduponthemselves.

    itisstillthefableofthedogwhocontentshimselfwiththechainandcollar,sothattheyareofgold.

    thisservilevanityisnotlessnaturalorlesscommonthanthevanityofdominion.whoeverfeelshimselfincapableofcommand,atleastdesirestoobeyapowerfulchief.serfshavebeenknowntoconsiderthemselvesdishonoredwhentheybecamethepropertyofamerecountafterhavingbeenthatofaprince,andsaint-simonmentionsavaletwhowouldonlywaituponmarquises.

    july7th,sevenoclockp.m——ihavejustnowbeenuptheboulevards;itwastheoperanight,andtherewasacrowdofcarriagesintheruelepelletier.thefoot-passengerswhowerestoppedatacrossingrecognizedthepersonsinsomeoftheseaswewentby,andmentionedtheirnames;theywerethoseofcelebratedorpowerfulmen,thesuccessfulonesoftheday.

    nearmetherewasamanlookingonwithhollowcheeksandeagereyes,whosethinblackcoatwasthreadbare.hefollowedwithenviouslooksthesepossessorsoftheprivilegesofpoweroroffame,andireadonhislips,whichcurledwithabittersmile,allthatpassedinhismind.

    "lookatthem,theluckyfellows!"thoughthe;"allthepleasuresofwealth,alltheenjoymentsofpride,aretheirs.theirnamesarerenowned,alltheirwishesfulfilled;theyarethesovereignsoftheworld,eitherbytheirintellectortheirpower;andwhilei,poorandunknown,toilpainfullyalongtheroadbelow,theywingtheirwayoverthemountain-topsgildedbythebroadsunshineofprosperity."

    ihavecomehomeindeepthought.isittruethattherearetheseinequalities,idonotsayinthefortunes,butinthehappinessofmen?

    dogeniusandauthorityreallywearlifeasacrown,whilethegreaterpartofmankindreceiveitasayoke?isthedifferenceofrankbutadifferentuseofmensdispositionsandtalents,orarealinequalityintheirdestinies?asolemnquestion,asitregardstheverificationofgodsimpartiality.

    july8th,noon——iwentthismorningtocalluponafriendfromthesameprovinceasmyself,whoisthefirstusher-in-waitingtooneofourministers.itookhimsomelettersfromhisfamily,leftforhimbyatravellerjustcomefrombrittany.hewishedmetostay.

    "to-day,"saidhe,"theministergivesnoaudience:hetakesadayofrestwithhisfamily.hisyoungersistersarearrived;hewilltakethemthismorningtost.cloud,andintheeveninghehasinvitedhisfriendstoaprivateball.ishallbedismisseddirectlyfortherestoftheday.wecandinetogether;readthenewswhileyouarewaitingforme."

    isatdownatatablecoveredwithnewspapers,allofwhichilookedoverbyturns.mostofthemcontainedseverecriticismsonthelastpoliticalactsoftheminister;someofthemaddedsuspicionsastothehonoroftheministerhimself.

    justasihadfinishedreading,asecretarycameforthemtotakethemtohismaster.

    hewasthenabouttoreadtheseaccusations,tosuffersilentlytheabuseofallthosetongueswhichwereholdinghimuptoindignationortoscorn!liketheromanvictorinhistriumph,hehadtoenduretheinsultsofhimwhofollowedhiscar,relatingtothecrowdhisfollies,hisignorance,orhisvices.

    but,amongthearrowsshotathimfromeveryside,wouldnoonebefoundpoisoned?wouldnotonereachsomespotinhisheartwherethewoundwouldbeincurable?whatistheworthofalifeexposedtotheattacksofenvioushatredorfuriousconviction?thechristiansyieldedonlythefragmentsoftheirfleshtothebeastsoftheamphitheatres;themaninpowergivesuphispeace,hisaffections,hishonor,tothecruelbitesofthepen.

    whileiwasmusinguponthesedangersofgreatness,theusherenteredhastily.importantnewshadbeenreceived:theministerisjustsummonedtothecouncil;hewillnotbeabletotakehissisterstost.cloud.

    isaw,throughthewindows,theyoungladies,whowerewaitingatthedoor,sorrowfullygoupstairsagain,whiletheirbrotherwentofftothecouncil.thecarriage,whichshouldhavegonefilledwithsomuchfamilyhappiness,isjustoutofsight,carryingonlythecaresofastatesmaninit.

    theushercamebackdiscontentedanddisappointed.themoreorlessoflibertywhichheisallowedtoenjoy,ishisbarometerofthepoliticalatmosphere.ifhegetsleave,allgoeswell;ifheiskeptathispost,thecountryisindanger.hisopiniononpublicaffairsisbutacalculationofhisowninterest.myfriendisalmostastatesman.

    ihadsomeconversationwithhim,andhetoldmeseveralcuriousparticularsofpubliclife.

    thenewministerhasoldfriendswhoseopinionsheopposes,thoughhestillretainshispersonalregardforthem.thoughseparatedfromthembythecolorshefightsunder,theyremainunitedbyoldassociations;buttheexigenciesofpartyforbidhimtomeetthem.iftheirintercoursecontinued,itwouldawakensuspicion;peoplewouldimaginethatsomedishonorablebargainwasgoingon;hisfriendswouldbeheldtobetraitorsdesiroustosellthemselves,andhethecorruptministerpreparedtobuythem.hehas,therefore,beenobligedtobreakofffriendshipsoftwentyyearsstanding,andtosacrificeattachmentswhichhadbecomeasecondnature.

    sometimes,however,theministerstillgiveswaytohisoldfeelings;hereceivesorvisitshisfriendsprivately;heshutshimselfupwiththem,andtalksofthetimeswhentheycouldbeopenfriends.bydintofprecautionstheyhavehithertosucceededinconcealingthisblotoffriendshipagainstpolicy;butsoonerorlaterthenewspaperswillbeinformedofit,andwilldenouncehimtothecountryasanobjectofdistrust.

    forwhetherhatredbehonestordishonest,itnevershrinksfromanyaccusation.sometimesitevenproceedstocrime.theusherassuredmethatseveralwarningshadbeengiventheministerwhichhadmadehimfearthevengeanceofanassassin,andthathenolongerventuredoutonfoot.

    then,fromonethingtoanother,ilearnedwhattemptationscameintomisleadorovercomehisjudgment;howhefoundhimselffatallyledintoobliquitieswhichhecouldnotbutdeplore.misledbypassion,over-persuadedbyentreaties,orcompelledforreputationssake,hehasmanytimesheldthebalancewithanunsteadyhand.howsadtheconditionofhimwhoisinauthority!notonlyarethemiseriesofpowerimposeduponhim,butitsvicesalso,which,notcontentwithtorturing,succeedincorruptinghim.

    weprolongedourconversationtillitwasinterruptedbytheministersreturn.hethrewhimselfoutofthecarriagewithahandfulofpapers,andwithananxiousmannerwentintohisownroom.aninstantafterwardhisbellwasheard;hissecretarywascalledtosendoffnoticestoallthoseinvitedfortheevening;theballwouldnottakeplace;theyspokemysteriouslyofbadnewstransmittedbythetelegraph,andinsuchcircumstancesanentertainmentwouldseemtoinsultthepublicsorrow.

    itookleaveofmyfriend,andhereiamathome.whatihavejustseenisananswertomydoubtstheotherday.nowiknowwithwhatpangsmenpayfortheirdignities;nowiunderstandthatfortunesellswhatwebelieveshegives.

    thisexplainstomethereasonwhycharlesvaspiredtothereposeofthecloister.

    andyetihaveonlyglancedatsomeofthesufferingsattachedtopower.

    whatshallisayofthefallsinwhichitspossessorsareprecipitatedfromtheheightsofheaventotheverydepthsoftheearth?ofthatpathofpainalongwhichtheymustforeverbeartheburdenoftheirresponsibility?ofthatchainofdecorumsandennuiswhichencompasseseveryactoftheirlives,andleavesthemsolittleliberty?

    thepartisansofdespotismadherewithreasontoformsandceremonies.

    ifmenwishtogiveunlimitedpowertotheirfellow-man,theymustkeephimseparatedfromordinaryhumanity;theymustsurroundhimwithacontinualworship,and,byaconstantceremonial,keepupforhimthesuperhumanparttheyhavegrantedhim.ourmasterscannotremainabsolute,exceptonconditionofbeingtreatedasidols.

    but,afterall,theseidolsaremen,and,iftheexclusivelifetheymustleadisaninsulttothedignityofothers,itisalsoatormenttothemselves.everyoneknowsthelawofthespanishcourt,whichusedtoregulate,hourbyhour,theactionsofthekingandqueen;"sothat,"

    saysvoltaire,"byreadingitonecantellallthatthesovereignsofspainhavedone,orwilldo,fromphilipiitothedayofjudgment."itwasbythislawthatphilipiii,whensick,wasobligedtoenduresuchanexcessofheatthathediedinconsequence,becausethedukeofuzeda,whoalonehadtherighttoputoutthefireintheroyalchamber,happenedtobeabsent.

    whenthewifeofcharlesiiwasrunawaywithonaspiritedhorse,shewasabouttoperishbeforeanyonedaredtosaveher,becauseetiquetteforbadethemtotouchthequeen.twoyoungofficersendangeredtheirlivesforherbystoppingthehorse.theprayersandtearsofherwhomtheyhadjustsnatchedfromdeathwerenecessarytoobtainpardonfortheircrime.everyoneknowstheanecdoterelatedbymadamecampanofmarieantoinette,wifeoflouisxvi.oneday,beingathertoilet,whenthechemisewasabouttobepresentedtoherbyoneoftheassistants,aladyofveryancientfamilyenteredandclaimedthehonor,asshehadtherightbyetiquette;but,atthemomentshewasabouttofulfilherduty,aladyofhigherrankappeared,andinherturntookthegarmentshewasabouttooffertothequeen;whenathirdladyofstillhighertitlecameinherturn,andwasfollowedbyafourth,whowasnootherthanthekingssister.thechemisewasinthismannerpassedfromhandtohand,withceremonies,courtesies,andcompliments,beforeitcametothequeen,who,halfnakedandquiteashamed,wasshiveringwithcoldforthegreathonorofetiquette.

    12th,sevenoclock,p.m——oncominghomethisevening,isaw,standingatthedoorofahouse,anoldman,whoseappearanceandfeaturesremindedmeofmyfather.therewasthesamebeautifulsmile,thesamedeepandpenetratingeye,thesamenoblebearingofthehead,andthesamecarelessattitude.

    ibeganlivingoveragainthefirstyearsofmylife,andrecallingtomyselftheconversationsofthatguidewhomgodinhismercyhadgivenme,andwhominhisseverityhehadtoosoonwithdrawn.

    whenmyfatherspoke,itwasnotonlytobringourtwomindstogetherbyaninterchangeofthought,buthiswordsalwayscontainedinstruction.

    notthatheendeavoredtomakemefeelitso:myfatherfearedeverythingthathadtheappearanceofalesson.heusedtosaythatvirtuecouldmakeherselfdevotedfriends,butshedidnottakepupils:thereforehewasnotdesiroustoteachgoodness;hecontentedhimselfwithsowingtheseedsofit,certainthatexperiencewouldmakethemgrow.

    howoftenhasgoodgrainfallenthusintoacorneroftheheart,and,whenithasbeenlongforgotten,allatonceputforththebladeandcomeintoear!itisatreasurelaidasideinatimeofignorance,andwedonotknowitsvaluetillwefindourselvesinneedofit.

    amongthestorieswithwhichheenlivenedourwalksorourevenings,thereisonewhichnowreturnstomymemory,doubtlessbecausethetimeiscometoderiveitslessonfromit.

    myfather,whowasapprenticedattheageoftwelvetooneofthosetradingcollectorswhocallthemselvesnaturalists,becausetheyputallcreationunderglassesthattheymaysellitbyretail,hadalwaysledalifeofpovertyandlabor.obligedtorisebeforedaybreak,byturnsshop-boy,clerk,andlaborer,hewasmadetobearalonealltheworkofatradeofwhichhismasterreapedalltheprofits.intruth,thislatterhadapeculiartalentformakingthemostofthelaborofotherpeople.

    thoughunfithimselffortheexecutionofanykindofwork,nooneknewbetterhowtosellit.hiswordswereanet,inwhichpeoplefoundthemselvestakenbeforetheywereaware.andsincehewasdevotedtohimselfalone,andlookedontheproducerashisenemy,andthebuyerasprey,heusedthembothwiththatobstinateperseverancewhichavariceteaches.

    myfatherwasaslavealltheweek,andcouldcallhimselfhisownonlyonsunday.themasternaturalist,whousedtospendthedayatthehouseofanoldfemalerelative,thengavehimhislibertyonconditionthathedinedout,andathisownexpense.butmyfatherusedsecretlytotakewithhimacrustofbread,whichhehidinhisbotanizing-box,and,leavingparisassoonasitwasday,hewouldwanderfarintothevalleyofmontmorency,thewoodofmeudon,oramongthewindingsofthemarne.

    excitedbythefreshair,thepenetratingperfumeofthegrowingvegetation,orthefragranceofthehoneysuckles,hewouldwalkonuntilhungerorfatiguemadeitselffelt.thenhewouldsitunderahedge,orbythesideofastream,andwouldmakearusticfeast,byturnsonwatercresses,woodstrawberries,andblackberriespickedfromthehedges;hewouldgatherafewplants,readafewpagesofflorian,theningreatestvogue,ofgessner,whowasjusttranslated,orofjeanjacques,ofwhomhepossessedthreeoldvolumes.thedaywasthuspassedalternatelyinactivityandrest,inpursuitandmeditation,untilthedecliningsunwarnedhimtotakeagaintheroadtoparis,wherehewouldarrive,hisfeettornanddusty,buthismindinvigoratedforawholeweek.

    oneday,ashewasgoingtowardthewoodofviroflay,hemet,closetoit,astrangerwhowasoccupiedinbotanizingandinsortingtheplantshehadjustgathered.hewasanelderlymanwithanhonestface;buthiseyes,whichwereratherdeep-setunderhiseyebrows,hadasomewhatuneasyandtimidexpression.hewasdressedinabrownclothcoat,agraywaistcoat,blackbreeches,andworstedstockings,andheldanivory-headedcaneunderhisarm.hisappearancewasthatofasmallretiredtradesmanwhowaslivingonhismeans,andratherbelowthegoldenmeanofhorace.

    myfather,whohadgreatrespectforage,civillyraisedhishattohimashepassed.indoingso,aplantheheldfellfromhishand;thestrangerstoopedtotakeitup,andrecognizedit.

    "itisadeutariaheptaphyllos,"saidhe;"ihavenotyetseenanyoftheminthesewoods;didyoufinditnearhere,sir?"

    myfatherrepliedthatitwastobefoundinabundanceonthetopofthehill,towardsevres,aswellasthegreatlaserpitium.

    "that,too!"repeatedtheoldmanmorebriskly."ah!ishallgoandlookforthem;ihavegatheredthemformerlyonthehillsideofrobaila."

    myfatherproposedtotakehim.thestrangeracceptedhisproposalwiththanks,andhastenedtocollecttogethertheplantshehadgathered;butallofasuddenheappearedseizedwithascruple.heobservedtohiscompanionthattheroadhewasgoingwashalfwayupthehill,andledinthedirectionofthecastleofthedamesroyalesatbellevue;thatbygoingtothetophewouldconsequentlyturnoutofhisroad,andthatitwasnotrightheshouldtakethistroubleforastranger.

    myfatherinsisteduponitwithhishabitualgood-nature;but,themoreeagernessheshowed,themoreobstinatelytheoldmanrefused;itevenseemedtomyfatherthathisgoodintentionatlastexcitedhissuspicion.hethereforecontentedhimselfwithpointingouttheroadtothestranger,whomhesaluted,andhesoonlostsightofhim.

    manyhourspassedby,andhethoughtnomoreofthemeeting.hehadreachedthecopsesofchaville,where,stretchedonthegroundinamossyglade,hereadoncemorethelastvolumeofemile.thedelightofreadingithadsocompletelyabsorbedhimthathehadceasedtoseeorhearanythingaroundhim.withhischeeksflushedandhiseyesmoist,herepeatedaloudapassagewhichhadparticularlyaffectedhim.

    anexclamationutteredclosebyhimawokehimfromhisecstasy;heraisedhishead,andperceivedthetradesman-lookingpersonhehadmetbeforeonthecrossroadatviroflay.

    hewasloadedwithplants,thecollectionofwhichseemedtohaveputhimintohighgood-humor.

    "athousandthanks,sir,"saidhetomyfather."ihavefoundallthatyoutoldmeof,andiamindebtedtoyouforacharmingwalk."

    myfatherrespectfullyrose,andmadeacivilreply.thestrangerhadgrownquitefamiliar,andevenaskedifhisyoung"brotherbotanist"didnotthinkofreturningtoparis.myfatherrepliedintheaffirmative,andopenedhistinboxtoputhisbookbackinit.

    thestrangeraskedhimwithasmileifhemightwithoutimpertinenceaskthenameofit.myfatheransweredthatitwasrousseausemile.

    thestrangerimmediatelybecamegrave.

    theywalkedforsometimesidebyside,myfatherexpressing,withthewarmthofaheartstillthrobbingwithemotion,allthatthisworkhadmadehimfeel;hiscompanionremainingcoldandsilent.theformerextolledthegloryofthegreatgenevesewriter,whosegeniushadmadehimacitizenoftheworld;heexpatiatedonthisprivilegeofgreatthinkers,whoreigninspiteoftimeandspace,andgathertogetherapeopleofwillingsubjectsoutofallnations;butthestrangersuddenlyinterruptedhim:

    "andhowdoyouknow,"saidhe,mildly,"whetherjeanjacqueswouldnotexchangethereputationwhichyouseemtoenvyforthelifeofoneofthewood-cutterswhosechimneyssmokewesee?whathasfamebroughthimexceptpersecution?theunknownfriendswhomhisbooksmayhavemadeforhimcontentthemselveswithblessinghimintheirhearts,whilethedeclaredenemiesthattheyhavedrawnuponhimpursuehimwithviolenceandcalumny!hispridehasbeenflatteredbysuccess:howmanytimeshasitbeenwoundedbysatire?andbeassuredthathumanprideislikethesybaritewhowaspreventedfromsleepingbyacreaseinaroseleaf.theactivityofavigorousmind,bywhichtheworldprofits,almostalwaysturnsagainsthimwhopossessesit.heexpectsmorefromitashegrowsolder;theidealhepursuescontinuallydisgustshimwiththeactual;heislikeamanwho,withatoo-refinedsight,discernsspotsandblemishesinthemostbeautifulface.iwillnotspeakofstrongertemptationsandofdeeperdownfalls.genius,youhavesaid,isakingdom;butwhatvirtuousmanisnotafraidofbeingaking?hewhofeelsonlyhisgreatpowers,is——withtheweaknessesandpassionsofournature——preparingforgreatfailures.believeme,sir,theunhappymanwhowrotethisbookisnoobjectofadmirationorofenvy;but,ifyouhaveafeelingheart,pityhim!"

    myfather,astonishedattheexcitementwithwhichhiscompanionpronouncedtheselastwords,didnotknowwhattoanswer.

    justthentheyreachedthepavedroadwhichledfrommeudoncastletothatofversailles;acarriagewaspassing.

    theladieswhowereinitperceivedtheoldman,utteredanexclamationofsurprise,andleaningoutofthewindowrepeated:

    "thereisjeanjacques——thereisrousseau!"

    thenthecarriagedisappearedinthedistance.

    myfatherremainedmotionless,confounded,andamazed,hiseyeswideopen,andhishandsclasped.

    rousseau,whohadshudderedonhearinghisnamespoken,turnedtowardhim:

    "yousee,"saidhe,withthebittermisanthropywhichhislatermisfortuneshadproducedinhim,"jeanjacquescannotevenhidehimself:

    heisanobjectofcuriositytosome,ofmalignitytoothers,andtoallheisapublicthing,atwhichtheypointthefinger.itwouldsignifylessifhehadonlytosubmittotheimpertinenceoftheidle;but,assoonasamanhashadthemisfortunetomakehimselfaname,hebecomespublicproperty.everyonerakesintohislife,relateshismosttrivialactions,andinsultshisfeelings;hebecomeslikethosewalls,whicheverypasser-bymaydefacewithsomeabusivewriting.perhapsyouwillsaythatihavemyselfencouragedthiscuriositybypublishingmyconfessions.buttheworldforcedmetoit.theylookedintomyhousethroughtheblinds,andtheyslanderedme;ihaveopenedthedoorsandwindows,sothattheyshouldatleastknowmesuchasiam.adieu,sir.

    wheneveryouwishtoknowtheworthoffame,rememberthatyouhaveseenrousseau."

    nineoclock——ah!nowiunderstandmyfathersstory!itcontainstheanswertooneofthequestionsiaskedmyselfaweekago.yes,inowfeelthatfameandpoweraregiftsthataredearlybought;andthat,whentheydazzlethesoul,bothareoftenest,asmadamedestaelsays,butundeuileclatantdebonheur!

    tisbettertobelowlyborn,andrangewithhumbleliversincontent,thantobeperkdupinaglisteringgrief,andwearagoldensorrow.

    [henryviii.,actii.,scene3.]



 CHAPTER VIII

    misanthropyandrepentance

    august3d,nineoclockp.m.

    therearedayswheneverythingappearsgloomytous;theworld,likethesky,iscoveredbyadarkfog.nothingseemsinitsplace;weseeonlymisery,improvidence,andcruelty;theworldseemswithoutgod,andgivenuptoalltheevilsofchance.

    yesterdayiwasinthisunhappyhumor.afteralongwalkinthefaubourgs,ireturnedhome,sadanddispirited.

    everythin*****seenseemedtoaccusethecivilizationofwhichwearesoproud!ihadwanderedintoalittleby-street,withwhichiwasnotacquainted,andifoundmyselfsuddenlyinthemiddleofthosedreadfulabodeswherethepoorareborn,tolanguishanddie.ilookedatthosedecayingwalls,whichtimehascoveredwithafoulleprosy;thosewindows,fromwhichdirtyragshangouttodry;thosefetidgutters,whichcoilalongthefrontsofthehouseslikevenomousreptiles!

    ifeltoppressedwithgrief,andhastenedon.

    alittlefartheroniwasstoppedbythehearseofahospital;adeadman,naileddowninhisdealcoffin,wasgoingtohislastabode,withoutfuneralpomporceremony,andwithoutfollowers.therewasnothereeventhatlastfriendoftheoutcast——thedog,whichapainterhasintroducedasthesoleattendantatthepaupersburial!hewhomtheywerepreparingtocommittotheearthwasgoingtothetomb,ashehadlived,alone;doubtlessnoonewouldbeawareofhisend.inthisbattleofsociety,whatsignifiesasoldiertheless?

    butwhat,then,isthishumansociety,ifoneofitsmemberscanthusdisappearlikealeafcarriedawaybythewind?

    thehospitalwasnearabarrack,attheentranceofwhicholdmen,women,andchildrenwerequarrellingfortheremainsofthecoarsebreadwhichthesoldiershadgiventhemincharity!thus,beingslikeourselvesdailywaitindestitutiononourcompassiontillwegivethemleavetolive!wholetroopsofoutcasts,inadditiontothetrialsimposedonallgodschildren,havetoendurethepangsofcold,hunger,andhumiliation.unhappyhumancommonwealth!wheremanisinaworseconditionthanthebeeinitshive,ortheantinitssubterraneancity!

    ah!whatthenavailsourreason?whatistheuseofsomanyhighfaculties,ifweareneitherthewisernorthehappierforthem?whichofuswouldnotexchangehislifeoflaborandtroublewiththatofthebirdsoftheair,towhomthewholeworldisalifeofjoy?

    howwelliunderstandthecomplaintofmao,inthepopulartalesofthefoyerbretonwho,whendyingofhungerandthirst,says,ashelooksatthebullfinchesriflingthefruit-trees:

    "alas!thosebirdsarehappierthanchristians;theyhavenoneedofinns,orbutchers,orbakers,orgardeners.godsheavenbelongstothem,andearthspreadsacontinualfeastbeforethem!thetinyfliesaretheirgame,ripegrasstheircornfields,andhipsandhawstheirstoreoffruit.theyhavetherightoftakingeverywhere,withoutpayingoraskingleave:thuscomesitthatthelittlebirdsarehappy,andsingallthelivelongday!"

    butthelifeofmaninanaturalstateislikethatofthebirds;heequallyenjoysnature."theearthspreadsacontinualfeastbeforehim."

    what,then,hashegainedbythatselfishandimperfectassociationwhichformsanation?woulditnotbebetterforeveryonetoturnagaintothefertilebosomofnature,andlivethereuponherbountyinpeaceandliberty?

    august20th,fouroclocka.m——thedawncastsaredglowonmybed-curtains;thebreezebringsinthefragranceofthegardensbelow.hereiamagainleaningonmyelbowsbythewindows,inhalingthefreshnessandgladnessofthisfirstwakeningoftheday.

    myeyealwayspassesovertheroofsfilledwithflowers,warbling,andsunlight,withthesamepleasure;butto-dayitstopsattheendofabuttresswhichseparatesourhousefromthenext.

    thestormshavestrippedthetopofitsplastercovering,anddustcarriedbythewindhascollectedinthecrevices,and,beingfixedtherebytherain,hasformedasortofaerialterrace,wheresomegreengrasshassprungup.amongitrisesastalkofwheat,whichto-dayissurmountedbyasicklyearthatdroopsitsyellowhead.

    thispoorstraycropontheroofs,theharvestofwhichwillfalltothenei***oringsparrows,hascarriedmythoughtstotherichcropswhicharenowfallingbeneaththesickle;ithasrecalledtomethebeautifulwalksitookasachildthroughmynativeprovince,whenthethreshing-floorsatthefarmhousesresoundedfromeverypartwiththesoundofaflail,andwhenthecarts,loadedwithgoldensheaves,cameinbyalltheroads.

    istillrememberthesongsofthemaidens,thecheerfulnessoftheoldmen,theopen-heartedmerrimentofthelaborers.therewas,atthattime,somethingintheirlooksbothofprideandfeeling.thelattercamefromthankfulnesstogod,theformerfromthesightoftheharvest,therewardoftheirlabor.theyfeltindistinctlythegrandeurandtheholinessoftheirpartinthegeneralworkoftheworld;theylookedwithprideupontheirmountainsofcorn-sheaves,andtheyseemedtosay,nexttogod,itiswewhofeedtheworld!

    whatawonderfulorderthereisinallhumanlabor!

    whilethehusbandmanfurrowshisland,andpreparesforeveryonehisdailybread,thetownartizan,faraway,weavesthestuffinwhichheistobeclothed;theminerseeksundergroundtheironforhisplow;thesoldierdefendshimagainsttheinvader;thejudgetakescarethatthelawprotectshisfields;thetax-comptrolleradjustshisprivateinterestswiththoseofthepublic;themerchantoccupieshimselfinexchanginghisproductswiththoseofdistantcountries;themenofscienceandofartaddeverydayafewhorsestothisidealteam,whichdrawsalongthematerialworld,assteamimpelsthegigantictrainsofourironroads!thusallunitetogether,allhelponeanother;thetoilofeachonebenefitshimselfandalltheworld;theworkhasbeenapportionedamongthedifferentmembersofthewholeofsocietybyatacitagreement.if,inthisapportionment,errorsarecommitted,ifcertainindividualshavenotbeenemployedaccordingtotheircapacities,thosedefectsofdetaildiminishinthesublimeconceptionofthewhole.

    thepoorestmanincludedinthisassociationhashisplace,hiswork,hisreasonforbeingthere;eachissomethinginthewhole.

    thereisnothinglikethisformaninthestateofnature.ashedependsonlyuponhimself,itisnecessarythathebesufficientforeverything.

    allcreationishisproperty;buthefindsinitasmanyhindrancesashelps.hemustsurmounttheseobstacleswiththesinglestrengththatgodhasgivenhim;hecannotreckononanyotheraidthanchanceandopportunity.noonereaps,manufactures,fights,orthinksforhim;heisnothingtoanyone.heisaunitmultipliedbythecipherofhisownsinglepowers;whilethecivilizedmanisaunitmultipliedbythewholeofsociety.

    but,notwithstandingthis,theotherday,disgustedbythesightofsomevicesindetail,icursedthelatter,andalmostenviedthelifeofthesavage.

    oneoftheinfirmitiesofournatureisalwaystomistakefeelingforevidence,andtojudgeoftheseasonbyacloudorarayofsunshine.

    wasthemisery,thesightofwhichmademeregretasavagelife,reallytheeffectofcivilization?mustweaccusesocietyofhavingcreatedtheseevils,oracknowledge,onthecontrary,thatithasalleviatedthem?couldthewomenandchildren,whowerereceivingthecoarsebreadfromthesoldier,hopeinthedesertformorehelporpity?thatdeadman,whoseforsakenstateideplored,hadhenotfound,bythecaresofahospital,acoffinandthehumblegravewherehewasabouttorest?

    alone,andfarfrommen,hewouldhavediedlikethewildbeastinhisden,andwouldnowbeservingasfoodforvultures!thesebenefitsofhumansocietyareshared,then,bythemostdestitute.whoevereatsthebreadthatanotherhasreapedandkneaded,isunderanobligationtohisbrother,andcannotsayheoweshimnothinginreturn.thepoorestofushasreceivedfromsocietymuchmorethanhisownsinglestrengthwouldhavepermittedhimtowrestfromnature.

    butcannotsocietygiveusmore?whodoubtsit?errorshavebeencommittedinthisdistributionoftasksandworkers.timewilldiminishthenumberofthem;withnewlightsabetterdivisionwillarise;theelementsofsocietygoontowardperfection,likeeverythingelse.thedifficultyistoknowhowtoadaptourselvestotheslowstepoftime,whoseprogresscanneverbeforcedonwithoutdanger.

    august14th,sixoclocka.m——mygarretwindowrisesupontherooflikeamassivewatch-tower.thecornersarecoveredbylargesheetsoflead,whichrunintothetiles;thesuccessiveactionofcoldandheathasmadethemrise,andsoacrevicehasbeenformedinanangleontherightside.thereasparrowhasbuilthernest.

    ihavefollowedtheprogressofthisaerialhabitationfromthefirstday.ihaveseenthebirdsuccessivelybringthestraw,moss,andwooldesignedfortheconstructionofherabode;andihaveadmiredtheperseveringskillsheexpendedinthisdifficultwork.atfirst,mynewnei***orspentherdaysinflutteringoverthepoplarinthegarden,andinchirpingalongthegutters;afineladyslifeseemedtheonlyonetosuither.thenallofasudden,thenecessityofpreparingashelterforherbroodtransformedouridlerintoaworker;shenolongergaveherselfeitherrestorrelaxation.isawheralwayseitherflying,fetching,orcarrying;neitherrainnorsunstoppedher.astrikingexampleofthepowerofnecessity!weareindebtedtoitnotonlyformostofourtalents,butformanyofourvirtues!

    isitnotnecessitythathasgiventhepeopleoflessfavoredclimatesthatconstantactivitywhichhasplacedthemsoquicklyattheheadofnations?astheyaredeprivedofmostofthegiftsofnature,theyhavesuppliedthembytheirindustry;necessityhassharpenedtheirunderstanding,enduranceawakenedtheirforesight.whileelsewhereman,warmedbyaneverbrilliantsun,andloadedwiththebountiesoftheearth,wasremainingpoor,ignorant,andnaked,inthemidstofgiftshedidnotattempttoexplore,herehewasforcedbynecessitytowresthisfoodfromtheground,tobuildhabitationstodefendhimselffromtheintemperanceoftheweather,andtowarmhisbodybyclothinghimselfwiththewoolofanimals.workmakeshimbothmoreintelligentandmorerobust:disciplinedbyit,heseemstomounthigherontheladderofcreation,whilethosemorefavoredbynatureremainonthestepnearesttothebrutes.

    imadethesereflectionswhilelookingatthebird,whoseinstinctseemedtohavebecomemoreacutesinceshehadbeenoccupiedinwork.atlastthenestwasfinished;shesetupherhouseholdthere,andifollowedherthroughallthephasesofhernewexistence.

    whenshehadsatontheeggs,andtheyoungoneswerehatched,shefedthemwiththemostattentivecare.thecornerofmywindowhadbecomeastageofmoralaction,whichfathersandmothersmightcometotakelessonsfrom.thelittleonessoonbecamelarge,andthismorningihaveseenthemtaketheirfirstflight.oneofthem,weakerthantheothers,wasnotabletocleartheedgeoftheroof,andfellintothegutter.icaughthimwithsomedifficulty,andplacedhimagainonthetileinfrontofhishouse,butthemotherhasnotnoticedhim.oncefreedfromthecaresofafamily,shehasresumedherwanderinglifeamongthetreesandalongtheroofs.invainihavekeptawayfrommywindow,totakefromhereveryexcuseforfear;invainthefeeblelittlebirdhascalledtoherwithplaintivecries;hisbadmotherhaspassedby,singingandflutteringwithathousandairsandgraces.onceonlythefathercamenear;helookedathisoffspringwithcontempt,andthendisappeared,nevertoreturn!

    icrumbledsomebreadbeforethelittleorphan,buthedidnotknowhowtopeckitwithhisbill.itriedtocatchhim,butheescapedintotheforsakennest.whatwillbecomeofhimthere,ifhismotherdoesnotcomeback!

    august15th,sixoclock——thismorning,onopeningmywindow,ifoundthelittlebirddyinguponthetiles;hiswoundsshowedmethathehadbeendrivenfromthenestbyhisunworthymother.itriedinvaintowarmhimagainwithmybreath;ifeltthelastpulsationsoflife;hiseyeswerealreadyclosed,andhiswingshungdown!iplacedhimontheroofinarayofsunshine,andiclosedmywindow.thestruggleoflifeagainstdeathhasalwayssomethinggloomyinit:itisawarningtous.

    happilyihearsomeoneinthepassage;withoutdoubtitismyoldnei***or;hisconversationwilldistractmythoughts.

    itwasmyportress.excellentwoman!shewishedmetoreadaletterfromhersonthesailor,andbeggedmetoansweritforher.

    ikeptit,tocopyitinmyjournal.hereitis:

    "dearmother:thisistotellyouthatihavebeenverywelleversincethelasttime,exceptthatlastweekiwasnearlydrownedwiththeboat,whichwouldhavebeenagreatloss,asthereisnotabettercraftanywhere.

    "agustofwindcapsizedus;andjustasicameupabovewater,isawthecaptainsinking.iwentafterhim,aswasmyduty,and,afterdivingthreetimes,ibroughthimtothesurface,whichpleasedhimmuch;forwhenwewerehoistedonboard,andhehadrecoveredhissenses,hethrewhisarmsroundmyneck,ashewouldhavedonetoanofficer.

    "idonothidefromyou,dearmother,thatthishasdelightedme.

    butitisntall;itseemsthatfishingupthecaptainhasremindedthemthatihadagoodcharacter,andtheyhavejusttoldmethatiampromotedtobeasailorofthefirstclass!directlyiknewit,icriedout,mymothershallhavecoffeetwiceaday!andreally,dearmother,thereisnothingnowtohinderyou,asishallnowhavealargerallowancetosendyou.

    "iincludebybeggingyoutotakecareofyourselfifyouwishtodomegood;fornothingmakesmefeelsowellastothinkthatyouwantfornothing.

    "yourson,fromthebottomofmyheart,

    jacques."

    thisistheanswerthattheportressdictatedtome:

    "mygoodjacquot:itmakesmeveryhappytoseethatyourheartisstillastrueasever,andthatyouwillnevershamethosewhohavebroughtyouup.ineednottellyoutotakecareofyourlife,becauseyouknowitisthesameasmyown,andthatwithoutyou,dearchild,ishouldwishfornothingbutthegrave;butwearenotboundtolive,whileweareboundtodoourduty.

    "donotfearformyhealth,goodjacques;iwasneverbetter!idonotgrowoldatall,forfearofmakingyouunhappy.iwantnothing,andilivelikealady.ievenhadsomemoneyoverthisyear,andasmydrawersshutverybadly,iputitintothesavings

    bank,whereihaveopenedanaccountinyourname.so,whenyoucomeback,youwillfindyourselfwithanincome.ihavealsofurnishedyourchestwithnewlinen,andihaveknittedyouthreenewsea-jackets.

    "allyourfriendsarewell.yourcousinisjustdead,leavinghiswidowindifficulties.igaveheryourthirtyfrancsremittanceandsaidthatyouhadsentither;andthepoorwomanremembersyoudayandnightinherprayers.so,yousee,ihaveputthatmoneyinanothersortofsavingsbank;butthereitisourheartsthatgettheinterest.

    "good-bye,dearjacquot.writetomeoften,andalwaysrememberthegoodgod,andyouroldmother,

    "phrosinemillot."

    goodson,andworthymother!howsuchexamplesbringusbacktoaloveforthehumanrace!inafitoffancifulmisanthropy,wemayenvythefateofthesavage,andpreferthatofthebirdtosuchashe;butimpartialobservationsoondoesjusticetosuchparadoxes.wefind,onexamination,thatinthemixedgoodandevilofhumannature,thegoodsofaraboundsthatwearenotinthehabitofnoticingit,whiletheevilstrikesuspreciselyonaccountofitsbeingtheexception.ifnothingisperfect,nothingissobadastobewithoutitscompensationoritsremedy.whatspiritualrichesarethereinthemidstoftheevilsofsociety!howmuchdoesthemoralworldredeemthematerial!

    thatwhichwilleverdistinguishmanfromtherestofcreation,ishispowerofdeliberateaffectionandofenduringself-sacrifice.themotherwhotookcareofherbroodinthecornerofmywindowdevotedtothemthenecessarytimeforaccomplishingthelawswhichinsurethepreservationofherkind;butsheobeyedaninstinct,andnotarationalchoice.whenshehadaccomplishedthemissionappointedherbyprovidence,shecastoffthedutyaswegetridofaburden,andshereturnedagaintoherselfishliberty.theothermother,onthecontrary,willgoonwithhertaskaslongasgodshallleaveherherebelow:thelifeofhersonwillstillremain,sotospeak,joinedtoherown;andwhenshedisappearsfromtheearth,shewillleavetherethatpartofherself.

    thus,theaffectionsmakeforourspeciesanexistenceseparatefromalltherestofcreation.thankstothem,weenjoyasortofterrestrialimmortality;andifotherbeingssucceedoneanother,manaloneperpetuateshimself.



 CHAPTER IX

    thefamilyofmichaelarout

    september15th,eightoclock

    thismorning,whileiwasarrangingmybooks,mothergenevievecamein,andbroughtmethebasketoffruitibuyofhereverysunday.forthenearlytwentyyearsthatihavelivedinthisquarter,ihavedealtinherlittlefruit-shop.perhapsishouldbebetterservedelsewhere,butmothergenevievehasbutlittlecustom;toleaveherwoulddoherharm,andcauseherunnecessarypain.itseemstomethatthelengthofouracquaintancehasmademeincurasortoftacitobligationtoher;mypatronagehasbecomeherproperty.

    shehasputthebasketuponmytable,andasiwantherhusband,whoisajoiner,toaddsomeshelvestomybookcase,shehasgonedownstairsagainimmediatelytosendhimtome.

    atfirstididnotnoticeeitherherlooksorthesoundofhervoice:

    but,nowthatirecallthem,itseemstomethatshewasnotasjovialasusual.canmothergenevievebeintroubleaboutanything?

    poorwoman!allherbestyearsweresubjecttosuchbittertrials,thatshemightthinkshehadreceivedherfullsharealready.wereitoliveahundredyears,ishouldneverforgetthecircumstanceswhichmadeherknowntome,andwhichobtainedforhermyrespect.

    itwasatthetimeofmyfirstsettlinginthefaubourg.ihadnoticedheremptyfruit-shop,whichnobodycameinto,and,beingattractedbyitsforsakenappearance,imademylittlepurchasesinit.ihavealwaysinstinctivelypreferredthepoorshops;thereislesschoiceinthem,butitseemstomethatmypurchaseisasignofsympathywithabrotherinpoverty.theselittledealingsarealmostalwaysananchorofhopetothosewhoseveryexistenceisinperil——theonlymeansbywhichsomeorphangainsalivelihood.theretheaimofthetradesmanisnottoenrichhimself,buttolive!thepurchaseyoumakeofhimismorethananexchange——itisagoodaction.

    mothergenevieveatthattimewasstillyoung,buthadalreadylostthatfreshbloomofyouthwhichsufferingcausestowithersosoonamongthepoor.herhusband,acleverjoiner,graduallyleftoffworkingtobecome,accordingtothepicturesqueexpressionoftheworkshops,aworshipperofsaintmonday.thewagesoftheweek,whichwasalwaysreducedtotwoorthreeworkingdays,werecompletelydedicatedbyhimtotheworshipofthisgodofthebarriers,——[thecheapwineshopsareoutsidethebarriers,toavoidtheoctroi,ormunicipalexcise.]——andgenevievewasobligedherselftoprovideforallthewantsofthehousehold.

    oneevening,wheniwenttomakesometriflingpurchasesofher,iheardasoundofquarrellinginthebackshop.therewerethevoicesofseveralwomen,amongwhichidistinguishedthatofgenevieve,brokenbysobs.onlookingfartherin,iperceivedthefruit-womanholdingachildinherarms,andkissingit,whileacountrynurseseemedtobeclaimingherwagesfromher.thepoorwoman,whowithoutdoubthadexhaustedeveryexplanationandeveryexcuse,wascryinginsilence,andoneofhernei***orswastryinginvaintoappeasethecountrywoman.excitedbythatloveofmoneywhichtheevilsofahardpeasantlifebuttoowellexcuse,anddisappointedbytherefusalofherexpectedwages,thenursewaslaunchingforthinrecriminations,threats,andabuse.inspiteofmyself,ilistenedtothequarrel,notdaringtointerfere,andnotthinkingofgoingaway,whenmichaelaroutappearedattheshop-door.

    thejoinerhadjustcomefromthebarriers,wherehehadpassedpartofthedayatapublic-house.hisblouse,withoutabelt,anduntiedatthethroat,showednoneofthenoblestainsofwork:inhishandheheldhiscap,whichhehadjustpickedupoutofthemud;hishairwasindisorder,hiseyefixed,andthepallorofdrunkennessinhisface.hecamereelingin,lookedwildlyaroundhim,andcalledgenevieve.

    sheheardhisvoice,gaveastart,andrushedintotheshop;butatthesightofthemiserableman,whowastryinginvaintosteadyhimself,shepressedthechildinherarms,andbentoveritwithtears.

    thecountrywomanandthenei***orhadfollowedher.

    "come!come!"criedtheformerinarage,"doyouintendtopayme,afterall?"

    "askthemasterforthemoney,"ironicallyansweredthewomanfromthenextdoor,pointingtothejoiner,whohadjustfallenagainstthecounter.

    thecountrywomanlookedathim.

    "ah!heisthefather,"returnedshe."well,whatidlebeggars!nottohaveapennytopayhonestpeople;andgettipsywithwineinthatway."

    thedrunkardraisedhishead.

    "what!what!"stammeredhe;"whoisitthattalksofwine?ivehadnothingbutbrandy!butiamgoingbackagaintogetsomewine!wife,givemeyourmoney;therearesomefriendswaitingformeattheperelatuille."

    genevievedidnotanswer:hewentroundthecounter,openedthetill,andbegantorummageinit.

    "youseewherethemoneyofthehousegoes!"observedthenei***ortothecountrywoman;"howcanthepoorunhappywomanpayyouwhenhetakesall?"

    "isthatmyfault?"repliedthenurse,angrily."theyowetome,andsomehoworothertheymustpayme!"

    andlettingloosehertongue,asthesewomenoutofthecountrydo,shebeganrelatingatlengthallthecareshehadtakenofthechild,andalltheexpenseithadbeentoher.inproportionassherecalledallshehaddone,herwordsseemedtoconvincehermorethaneverofherrights,andtoincreaseheranger.thepoormother,whonodoubtfearedthatherviolencewouldfrightenthechild,returnedintothebackshop,andputitintoitscradle.

    whetheritisthatthecountrywomansawinthisactadeterminationtoescapeherclaims,orthatshewasblindedbypassion,icannotsay;butsherushedintothenextroom,whereiheardthesoundsofquarrelling,withwhichthecriesofthechildweresoonmingled.thejoiner,whowasstillrummaginginthetill,wasstartled,andraisedhishead.

    atthesamemomentgenevieveappearedatthedoor,holdinginherarmsthebabythatthecountrywomanwastryingtotearfromher.sherantowardthecounter,andthrowingherselfbehindherhusband,cried:

    "michael,defendyourson!"

    thedrunkenmanquicklystooduperect,likeonewhoawakeswithastart.

    "myson!"stammeredhe;"whatson?"

    hislooksfelluponthechild;avaguerayofintelligencepassedoverhisfeatures.

    "robert,"resumedhe;"itisrobert!"

    hetriedtosteadyhimselfonhisfeet,thathemighttakethebaby,buthetottered.thenurseapproachedhiminarage.

    "mymoney,orishalltakethechildaway!"criedshe."itisiwhohavefedandbroughtitup:ifyoudontpaymeforwhathasmadeitlive,itoughttobethesametoyouasifitweredead.ishallnotgountilihavemydue,orthebaby."

    "andwhatwouldyoudowithhim?"murmuredgenevieve,pressingrobertagainstherbosom.

    "takeittothefoundling!"repliedthecountrywoman,harshly;"thehospitalisabettermotherthanyouare,foritpaysforthefoodofitslittleones."

    attheword"foundling,"genevievehadexclaimedaloudinhorror.withherarmswoundroundherson,whosehead******inherbosom,andhertwohandsspreadoverhim,shehadretreatedtothewall,andremainedwithherbackagainstit,likealionessdefendingheryoung.thenei***orandicontemplatedthisscene,withoutknowinghowwecouldinterfere.asformichael,helookedatusbyturns,makingavisibleefforttocomprehenditall.whenhiseyerestedupongenevieveandthechild,itlitupwithagleamofpleasure;butwhenheturnedtowardus,heagainbecamestupidandhesitating.

    atlast,apparentlymakingaprodigiouseffort,hecriedout,"wait!"

    andgoingtoatubfilledwithwater,heplungedhisfaceintoitseveraltimes.

    everyeyewasturneduponhim;thecountrywomanherselfseemedastonished.atlengthheraisedhisdrippinghead.thisablutionhadpartlydispelledhisdrunkenness;helookedatusforamoment,thenheturnedtogenevieve,andhisfacebrightenedup.

    "robert!"criedhe,goinguptothechild,andtakinghiminhisarms.

    "ah!givehimme,wife;imustlookathim."

    themotherseemedtogiveuphissontohimwithreluctance,andstayedbeforehimwithherarmsextended,asifshefearedthechildwouldhaveafall.thenursebeganagaininherturntospeak,andrenewedherclaims,thistimethreateningtoappealtolaw.atfirstmichaellistenedtoherattentively,andwhenhecomprehendedhermeaning,hegavethechildbacktoitsmother.

    "howmuchdoweoweyou?"askedhe.

    thecountrywomanbegantoreckonupthedifferentexpenses,whichamountedtonearlythirtyfrancs.thejoinerfelttothebottomofhispockets,butcouldfindnothing.hisforeheadbecamecontractedbyfrowns;lowcursesbegantoescapehim.allofasuddenherummagedinhisbreast,drewforthalargewatch,andholdingitupabovehishead:

    "hereitis——heresyourmoney!"criedhewithajoyfullaugh;"awatch,agoodone!ialwayssaiditwouldkeepforadrinkonadryday;butitisnotiwhowilldrinkit,buttheyoungone.ah!ah!ah!goandsellitforme,nei***or,andifthatisnotenough,ihavemyearrings.eh!

    genevieve,takethemoffforme;theearringswillsquareall!theyshallnotsayyouhavebeendisgracedonaccountofthechild——no,notevenifimustpledgeabitofmyflesh!mywatch,myearrings,andmyring——getridofallofthemformeatthegoldsmiths;paythewoman,andletthelittlefoolgotosleep.givehimme,genevieve;iwillputhimtobed."

    and,takingthebabyfromthearmsofhismother,hecarriedhimwithafirmsteptohiscradle.

    itwaseasytoperceivethechangewhichtookplaceinmichaelfromthisday.hecutallhisolddrinkingacquaintances.hewentearlyeverymorningtohiswork,andreturnedregularlyintheeveningtofinishthedaywithgenevieveandrobert.verysoonhewouldnotleavethematall,andhehiredaplacenearthefruit-shop,andworkedinitonhisownaccount.

    theywouldsoonhavebeenabletoliveincomfort,haditnotbeenfortheexpenseswhichthechildrequired.everythingwasgivenuptohiseducation.hehadgonethroughtheregularschooltraining,hadstudiedmathematics,drawing,andthecarpenterstrade,andhadonlybeguntoworkafewmonthsago.tillnow,theyhadbeenexhaustingeveryresourcewhichtheirlaboriousindustrycouldprovidetopushhimforwardinhisbusiness;and,happily,alltheseexertionshadnotproveduseless:theseedhadbroughtforthfruit,andthedaysofharvestwerecloseby.

    whileiwasthusrecallingtheseremembrancestomymind,michaelhadcomein,andwasoccupiedinfixingshelveswheretheywerewanted.

    duringthetimeiwaswritingthenotesofmyjournal,iwasalsoscrutinizingthejoiner.

    theexcessesofhisyouthandthelaborofhismanhoodhavedeeplymarkedhisface;hishairisthinandgray,hisshouldersstoop,hislegsareshrunkenandslightlybent.thereseemsasortofweightinhiswholebeing.hisveryfeatureshaveanexpressionofsorrowanddespondency.

    heanswersmyquestionsbymonosyllables,andlikeamanwhowishestoavoidconversation.whencecomesthisdejection,whenonewouldthinkhehadallhecouldwishfor?ishouldliketoknow!

    tenoclock——michaelisjustgonedownstairstolookforatoolhehasforgotten.ihaveatlastsucceededindrawingfromhimthesecretofhisandgenevievessorrow.theirsonrobertisthecauseofit!

    notthathehasturnedoutillafteralltheircare——notthatheisidleordissipated;butbothwereinhopeshewouldneverleavethemanymore.

    thepresenceoftheyoungmanwastohaverenewedandmadegladtheirlivesoncemore;hismothercountedthedays,hisfatherpreparedeverythingtoreceivetheirdearassociateintheirtoils;andatthemomentwhentheywerethusabouttoberepaidforalltheirsacrifices,roberthadsuddenlyinformedthemthathehadjustengagedhimselftoacontractoratversailles.

    everyremonstranceandeveryprayerwereuseless;hebroughtforwardthenecessityofinitiatinghimselfintoallthedetailsofanimportantcontract,thefacilitiesheshouldhaveinhisnewpositionofimprovinghimselfinhistrade,andthehopeshehadofturninghisknowledgetoadvantage.at,last,whenhismother,havingcometotheendofherarguments,begantocry,hehastilykissedher,andwentawaythathemightavoidanyfurtherremonstrances.

    hehadbeenabsentayear,andtherewasnothingtogivethemhopesofhisreturn.hisparentshardlysawhimonceamonth,andthenheonlystayedafewmomentswiththem.

    "ihavebeenpunishedwhereihadhopedtoberewarded,"michaelsaidtomejustnow."ihadwishedforasavingandindustriousson,andgodhasgivenmeanambitiousandavariciousone!ihadalwayssaidtomyselfthatwhenoncehewasgrownupweshouldhavehimalwayswithus,torecallouryouthandtoenlivenourhearts.hismotherwasalwaysthinkingofgettinghimmarried,andhavingchildrenagaintocarefor.

    youknowwomenalwayswillbusythemselvesaboutothers.asforme,ithoughtofhimworkingnearmybench,andsinginghisnewsongs;forhehaslearntmusic,andisoneofthebestsingersattheorpheon.

    adream,sir,truly!directlythebirdwasfledged,hetooktoflight,andremembersneitherfathernormother.yesterday,forinstance,wasthedayweexpectedhim;heshouldhavecometosupperwithus.norobertto-day,either!hehashadsomeplantofinish,orsomebargaintoarrange,andhisoldparentsareputdownlastintheaccounts,afterthecustomersandthejoinerswork.ah!ificouldhaveguessedhowitwouldhaveturnedout!fool!tohavesacrificedmylikingsandmymoney,fornearlytwentyyears,totheeducationofathanklessson!wasitforthisitookthetroubletocuremyselfofdrinking,tobreakwithmyfriends,tobecomeanexampletothenei***orhood?thejovialgoodfellowhasmadeagooseofhimself.oh!ifihadtobeginagain!no,no!youseewomenandchildrenareourbane.theysoftenourhearts;theyleadusalifeofhopeandaffection;wepassaquarterofourlivesinfosteringthegrowthofagrainofcornwhichistobeeverythingtousinouroldage,andwhentheharvest-timecomes——good-night,theearisempty!"

    whilehewasspeaking,michaelsvoicebecamehoarse,hiseyesfierce,andhislipsquivered.iwishedtoanswerhim,buticouldonlythinkofcommonplaceconsolations,andiremainedsilent.thejoinerpretendedheneededatool,andleftme.

    poorfather!ah!iknowthosemomentsoftemptationwhenvirtuehasfailedtorewardus,andweregrethavingobeyedher!whohasnotfeltthisweaknessinhoursoftrial,andwhohasnotuttered,atleastonce,themournfulexclamationofbrutus?

    butifvirtueisonlyaword,whatistheretheninlifethatistrueandreal?no,iwillnotbelievethatgoodnessisinvain!itdoesnotalwaysgivethehappinesswehadhopedfor,butitbringssomeother.

    intheworldeverythingisruledbyorder,andhasitsproperandnecessaryconsequences,andvirtuecannotbethesoleexceptiontothegenerallaw.ifithadbeenprejudicialtothosewhopractisedit,experiencewouldhaveavengedthem;butexperiencehas,onthecontrary,madeitmoreuniversalandmoreholy.weonlyaccuseitofbeingafaithlessdebtorbecausewedemandanimmediatepayment,andoneapparenttooursenses.wealwaysconsiderlifeasafairytale,inwhicheverygoodactionmustberewardedbyavisiblewonder.wedonotacceptaspaymentapeacefulconscience,self-content,oragoodnameamongmen——treasuresthataremorepreciousthananyother,butthevalueofwhichwedonotfeeltillafterwehavelostthem!

    michaeliscomeback,andhasreturnedtohiswork.hissonhasnotyetarrived.

    bytellingmeofhishopesandhisgrievousdisappointments,hebecameexcited;heunceasinglywentoveragainthesamesubject,alwaysaddingsomethingtohisgriefs.hehadjustwounduphisconfidentialdiscoursebyspeakingtomeofajoinersbusinesswhichhehadhopedtobuy,andworktogoodaccountwithrobertshelp.thepresentownerhadmadeafortunebyit,and,afterthirtyyearsofbusiness,hewasthinkingofretiringtooneoftheornamentalcottagesintheoutskirtsofthecity,ausualretreatforthefrugalandsuccessfulworkingman.michaelhadnotindeedthetwothousandfrancswhichmustbepaiddown;butperhapshecouldhavepersuadedmasterbenoittowait.robertspresencewouldhavebeenasecurityforhim,fortheyoungmancouldnotfailtoinsuretheprosperityofaworkshop;besidesscienceandskill,hehadthepowerofinventionandbringingtoperfection.hisfatherhaddiscoveredamonghisdrawingsanewplanforastaircase,whichhadoccupiedhisthoughtsforalongtime;andheevensuspectedhimofhavingengagedhimselftotheversaillescontractorfortheverypurposeofexecutingit.theyouthwastormentedbythisspiritofinvention,whichtookpossessionofallhisthoughts,and,whiledevotinghismindtostudy,hehadnotimetolistentohisfeelings.

    michaeltoldmeallthiswithamixedfeelingofprideandvexation.isawhewasproudofthesonhewasabusing,andthathisverypridemadehimmoresensitivetothatsonsneglect.

    sixoclockp.m——ihavejustfinishedahappyday.howmanyeventshavehappenedwithinafewhours,andwhatachangeforgenevieveandmichael!

    hehadjustfinishedfixingtheshelves,andtellingmeofhisson,whileilaidtheclothformybreakfast.

    suddenlyweheardhurriedstepsinthepassage,thedooropened,andgenevieveenteredwithrobert.

    thejoinergaveastartofjoyfulsurprise,butherepresseditimmediately,asifhewishedtokeepuptheappearanceofdispleasure.

    theyoungmandidnotappeartonoticeit,butthrewhimselfintohisarmsinanopen-heartedmanner,whichsurprisedme.genevieve,whosefaceshonewithhappiness,seemedtowishtospeak,andtorestrainherselfwithdifficulty.

    itoldrobertiwasgladtoseehim,andheansweredmewitheaseandcivility.

    "iexpectedyouyesterday,"saidmichaelarout,ratherdryly.

    "forgiveme,father,"repliedtheyoungworkman,"butihadbusinessatst.germains.iwasnotabletocomebacktillitwasverylate,andthenthemasterkeptme."

    thejoinerlookedathissonsidewise,andthentookuphishammeragain.

    "allright,"mutteredhe,inagrumblingtone;"whenwearewithotherpeoplewemustdoastheywish;buttherearesomewhowouldlikebettertoeatbrownbreadwiththeirownknifethanpartridgeswiththesilverforkofamaster."

    "andiamoneofthose,father,"repliedrobert,merrily,"but,astheproverbsays,"youmustshellthepeasbeforeyoucaneatthem."itwasnecessarythatishouldfirstworkinagreatworkshop——"

    "togoonwithyourplanofthestaircase,"interruptedmichael,ironically.

    "youmustnowsaymonsieurraymondsplan,father,"repliedrobert,smiling.

    "why?"

    "becauseihavesoldittohim."

    thejoiner,whowasplaningaboard,turnedroundquickly.

    "soldit!"criedhe,withsparklingeyes.

    "forthereasonthatiwasnotrichenoughtogiveithim."

    michaelthrewdowntheboardandtool.

    "thereheisagain!"resumedhe,angrily;"hisgoodgeniusputsanideaintohisheadwhichwouldhavemadehimknown,andhegoesandsellsittoarichman,whowilltakethehonorofithimself."

    "well,whatharmistheredone?"askedgenevieve.

    "whatharm!"criedthejoiner,inapassion."youunderstandnothingaboutit——youareawoman;buthe——heknowswellthatatrueworkmannevergivesuphisowninventionsformoney,nomorethanasoldierwouldgiveuphiscross.thatishisglory;heisboundtokeepitforthehonoritdoeshim!ah,thunder!ifihadevermadeadiscovery,ratherthanputitupatauctioniwouldhavesoldoneofmyeyes!dontyouseethatanewinventionislikeachildtoaworkman?hetakescareofit,hebringsitup,hemakesawayforitintheworld,anditisonlyapoorcreaturewhosellsit."

    robertcoloredalittle.

    "youwillthinkdifferently,father,"saidhe,"whenyouknowwhyisoldmyplan."

    "yes,andyouwillthankhimforit,"addedgenevieve,whocouldnolongerkeepsilence.

    "never!"repliedmichael.

    "but,wretchedman!"criedshe,"hesolditonlyforoursakes!"

    thejoinerlookedathiswifeandsonwithastonishment.itwasnecessarytocometoanexplanation.thelatterrelatedhowhehadenteredintoanegotiationwithmasterbenoit,whohadpositivelyrefusedtosellhisbusinessunlessonehalfofthetwothousandfrancswerefirstpaiddown.itwasinthehopesofobtainingthissumthathehadgonetoworkwiththecontractoratversailles;hehadhadanopportunityoftryinghisinvention,andoffindingapurchaser.thankstothemoneyhereceivedforit,hehadjustconcludedthebargainwithbenoit,andhadbroughthisfatherthekeyofthenewwork-yard.

    thisexplanationwasgivenbytheyoungworkmanwithsomuchmodestyandsimplicitythatiwasquiteaffectedbyit.genevievecried;michaelpressedhissontohisheart,andinalongembraceheseemedtoaskhispardonforhavingunjustlyaccusedhim.

    allwasnowexplainedwithhonortorobert.theconductwhichhisparentshadascribedtoindifferencereallysprangfromaffection;hehadneitherobeyedthevoiceofambitionnorofavarice,noreventhenoblerinspirationofinventivegenius:hiswholemotiveandsingleaimhadbeenthehappinessofgenevieveandmichael.thedayforprovinghisgratitudehadcome,andhehadreturnedthemsacrificeforsacrifice!

    aftertheexplanationsandexclamationsofjoywereover,allthreewereabouttoleaveme;but,theclothbeinglaid,iaddedthreemoreplaces,andkeptthemtobreakfast.

    themealwasprolonged:thefarewasonlytolerable;buttheover-flowingsofaffectionmadeitdelicious.neverhadibetterunderstoodtheunspeakablecharmoffamilylove.whatcalmenjoymentinthathappinesswhichisalwayssharedwithothers;inthatcommunityofinterestswhichunitessuchvariousfeelings;inthatassociationofexistenceswhichformsonesinglebeingofsomany!whatismanwithoutthosehomeaffections,which,likesomanyroots,fixhimfirmlyintheearth,andpermithimtoimbibeallthejuicesoflife?energy,happiness——donotallthesecomefromthem?withoutfamilylifewherewouldmanlearntolove,toassociate,todenyhimself?acommunityinlittle,isitnotthiswhichteachesushowtoliveinthegreatone?

    suchistheholinessofhome,that,toexpressourrelationwithgod,wehavebeenobligedtoborrowthewordsinventedforourfamilylife.menhavenamedthemselvesthesonsofaheavenlyfather!

    ah!letuscarefullypreservethesechainsofdomesticunion.donotletusunbindthehumansheaf,andscatteritsearstoallthecapricesofchanceandofthewinds;butletusratherenlargethisholylaw;letuscarrytheprinciplesandthehabitsofhomebeyondsetbounds;and,ifitmaybe,letusrealizetheprayeroftheapostleofthegentileswhenheexclaimedtothenewbornchildrenofchrist:"beyelike-minded,havingthesamelove,beingofoneaccord,ofonemind."



 CHAPTER X

    ourcountry

    october12th,sevenoclocka.m.

    thenightsarealreadybecomecoldandlong;thesun,shiningthroughmycurtains,nomorewakensmelongbeforethehourforwork;andevenwhenmyeyesareopen,thepleasantwarmthofthebedkeepsmefastundermycounterpane.everymorningtherebeginsalongargumentbetweenmyactivityandmyindolence;and,snuglywrappeduptotheeyes,iwaitlikethegascon,untiltheyhavesucceededincomingtoanagreement.

    thismorning,however,alight,whichshonefrommydooruponmypillow,awokemeearlierthanusual.invainiturnedonmyside;theperseveringlight,likeavictoriousenemy,pursuedmeintoeveryposition.atlast,quiteoutofpatience,isatupandhurledmynightcaptothefootofthebed!

    (iwillobserve,bywayofparenthesis,thatthevariousevolutionsofthispacificheadgearseemtohavebeen,fromtheremotesttime,symbolsofthevehementemotionsofthemind;forourlanguagehasborroweditsmostcommonimagesfromthem.)

    butbethisasitmay,igotupinaverybadhumor,grumblingatmynewnei***or,whotookitintohisheadtobewakefulwheniwishedtosleep.

    weareallmadethus;wedonotunderstandthatothersmayliveontheirownaccount.eachoneofusisliketheearth,accordingtotheoldsystemofptolemy,andthinkshecanhavethewholeuniverserevolvearoundhimself.onthispoint,tomakeuseofthemetaphoralludedto:

    tousleshommesontlatetedanslememebonnet.

    ihadforthetimebeing,asihavealreadysaid,thrownminetotheotherendofmybed;andislowlydisengagedmylegsfromthewarmbedclothes,whilemakingahostofevilreflectionsupontheinconvenienceofhavingnei***ors.

    formorethanamonthihadnothadtocomplainofthosewhomchancehadgivenme;mostofthemonlycameintosleep,andwentawayagainonrising.iwasalmostalwaysaloneonthistopstory——alonewiththecloudsandthesparrows!

    butatparisnothinglasts;thecurrentoflifecarriesusalong,liketheseaweedtornfromtherock;thehousesarevesselswhichtakemerepassengers.howmanydifferentfaceshaveialreadyseenpassalongthelanding-placebelongingtoourattics!howmanycompanionsofafewdayshavedisappearedforever!somearelostinthatmedleyofthelivingwhichwhirlscontinuallyunderthescourgeofnecessity,andothersinthatresting-placeofthedead,whosleepunderthehandofgod!

    peterthebookbinderisoneoftheselast.wrappedupinselfishness,helivedaloneandfriendless,andhediedashehadlived.hislosswasneithermournedbyanyone,nordisarrangedanythingintheworld;therewasmerelyaditchfilledupinthegraveyard,andanatticemptiedinourhouse.

    itisthesamewhichmynewnei***orhasinhabitedforthelastfewdays.

    tosaytruly(nowthatiamquiteawake,andmyillhumorisgonewithmynightcap)——tosaytruly,thisnewnei***or,althoughrisingearlierthansuitsmyidleness,isnotthelessaverygoodman:hecarrieshismisfortunes,asfewknowhowtocarrytheirgoodfortunes,withcheerfulnessandmoderation.

    butfatehascruellytriedhim.fatherchaufourisbutthewreckofaman.intheplaceofoneofhisarmshangsanemptysleeve;hisleftlegismadebytheturner,andhedragstherightalongwithdifficulty;butabovetheseruinsrisesacalmandhappyface.whilelookinguponhiscountenance,radiantwithasereneenergy,whilelisteningtohisvoice,thetoneofwhichhas,sotospeak,theaccentofgoodness,weseethatthesoulhasremainedentireinthehalf-destroyedcovering.thefortressisalittledamaged,asfatherchaufoursays,butthegarrisonisquitehearty.

    decidedly,themoreithinkofthisexcellentman,themoreireproachmyselfforthesortofmaledictionibestowedonhimwheniawoke.

    wearegenerallytooindulgentinoursecretwrongstowardournei***or.

    allill-willwhichdoesnotpasstheregionofthoughtseemsinnocenttous,and,withourclumsyjustice,weexcusewithoutexaminationthesinwhichdoesnotbetrayitselfbyaction!

    butarewethenboundtoothersonlybytheenforcementoflaws?besidestheseexternalrelations,istherenotarealrelationoffeelingbetweenmen?dowenotowetoallthosewholiveunderthesameheavenasourselvestheaidnotonlyofouractsbutofourpurposes?oughtnoteveryhumanlifetobetouslikeavesselthatweaccompanywithourprayersforahappyvoyage?itisnotenoughthatmendonotharmoneanother;theymustalsohelpandloveoneanother!thepapalbenediction,urbietorbi!shouldbetheconstantcryfromallhearts.

    tocondemnhimwhodoesnotdeserveit,eveninthemind,evenbyapassingthought,istobreakthegreatlaw,thatwhichhasestablishedtheunionofsoulsherebelow,andtowhichchristhasgiventhesweetnameofcharity.

    thesethoughtscameintomymindasifinisheddressing,andisaidtomyselfthatfatherchaufourhadarighttoreparationfromme.tomakeamendsforthefeelingofill-willihadagainsthimjustnow,iowedhimsomeexplicitproofofsympathy.iheardhimhummingatuneinhisroom;hewasatwork,andideterminedthatiwouldmakethefirstnei***orlycall.

    eightoclockp.m——ifoundfatherchaufouratatablelightedbyalittlesmokylamp,withoutafire,althoughitisalreadycold,andmakinglargepasteboardboxes;hewashummingapopularsonginalowtone.ihadhardlyenteredtheroomwhenheutteredanexclamationofsurpriseandpleasure.

    "eh!isityou,nei***or?comein,then!ididnotthinkyougotupsoearly,soiputadamperonmymusic;iwasafraidofwakingyou."

    excellentman!whileiwassendinghimtothedevilhewasputtinghimselfoutofhiswayforme!

    thisthoughttouchedme,andipaidmycomplimentsonhishavingbecomemynei***orwithawarmthwhichopenedhisheart.

    "faith!youseemtometohavethelookofagoodchristian,"saidheinavoiceofsoldierlikecordiality,andshakingmebythehand."idonotlikethosepeoplewholookonalanding-placeasafrontierline,andtreattheirnei***orsasiftheywerecossacks.whenmensnuffthesameair,andspeakthesamelingo,theyarenotmeanttoturntheirbackstoeachother.sitdownthere,nei***or;idontmeantoorderyou;onlytakecareofthestool;ithasbutthreelegs,andwemustputgood-willinplaceofthefourth."

    "itseemsthatthatisatreasurewhichthereisnowantofhere,"iobserved.

    "good-will!"repeatedchaufour;"thatisallmymotherleftme,anditakeitnosonhasreceivedabetterinheritance.thereforetheyusedtocallmemonsieurcontentinthebatteries."

    "youareasoldier,then?"

    "iservedinthethirdartilleryundertherepublic,andafterwardintheguard,throughallthecommotions.iwasatjemappesandatwaterloo;soiwasatthechristeningandattheburialofourglory,asonemaysay!"

    ilookedathimwithastonishment.

    "andhowoldwereyouthen,atjemappes?"askedi.

    "somewhereaboutfifteen,"saidhe.

    "howcameyoutothinkofbeingasoldiersoearly?"

    "ididnotreallythinkaboutit.ithenworkedattoy-making,andneverdreamedthatfrancewouldaskmeforanythingelsethantomakeherdraught-boards,shuttlecocks,andcupsandballs.butihadanolduncleatvincenneswhomiwenttoseefromtimetotime——afontenoyveteraninthesamerankoflifeasmyself,butwithabilityenoughtohaverisentothatofamarshal.unluckily,inthosedaystherewasnowayforcommonpeopletogeton.myuncle,whoseserviceswouldhavegothimmadeaprinceundertheother,hadthenretiredwiththemererankofsub-lieutenant.butyoushouldhaveseenhiminhisuniform,hiscrossofst.louis,hiswoodenleg,hiswhitemoustaches,andhisnoblecountenance.youwouldhavesaidhewasaportraitofoneofthoseoldheroesinpowderedhairwhichareatversailles!

    "everytimeivisitedhim,hesaidsomethingwhichremainedfixedinmymemory.butonedayifoundhimquitegrave.

    "jerome,saidhe,doyouknowwhatisgoingononthefrontier?

    "no,lieutenant,repliedi.

    "well,resumedhe,ourcountryisindanger!

    "ididnotwellunderstandhim,andyetitseemedsomethingtome.

    "perhapsyouhaveneverthoughtwhatyourcountrymeans,continuedhe,placinghishandonmyshoulder;`itisallthatsurroundsyou,allthathasbroughtyouupandfedyou,allthatyouhaveloved!thisgroundthatyousee,thesehouses,thesetrees,thosegirlswhogoalongtherelaughing——thisisyourcountry!thelawswhichprotectyou,thebreadwhichpaysforyourwork,thewordsyouinterchangewithothers,thejoyandgriefwhichcometoyoufromthemenandthingsamongwhichyoulive——thisisyourcountry!thelittleroomwhereyouusedtoseeyourmother,theremembrancesshehasleftyou,theearthwheresherests——thisisyourcountry!youseeit,youbreatheit,everywhere!thinktoyourself,myson,ofyourrightsandyourduties,youraffectionsandyourwants,yourpastandyourpresentblessings;writethemallunderasinglename——andthatnamewillbeyourcountry!

    "iwastremblingwithemotion,andgreattearswereinmyeyes.

    "ah!iunderstand,criedi;itisourhomeinlarge;itisthatpartoftheworldwheregodhasplacedourbodyandoursoul.

    "youareright,jerome,continuedtheoldsoldier;soyoucomprehendalsowhatweoweit.

    "truly,resumedi,weoweitallthatweare;itisaquestionoflove.

    "andofhonesty,myson,concludedhe.thememberofafamilywhodoesnotcontributehisshareofworkandofhappinessfailsinhisduty,andisabadkinsman;thememberofapartnershipwhodoesnotenrichitwithallhismight,withallhiscourage,andwithallhisheart,defraudsitofwhatbelongstoit,andisadishonestman.itisthesamewithhimwhoenjoystheadvantagesofhavingacountry,anddoesnotaccepttheburdensofit;heforfeitshishonor,andisabadcitizen!

    "andwhatmustonedo,lieutenant,tobeagoodcitizen?askedi.

    "doforyourcountrywhatyouwoulddoforyourfatherandmother,saidhe.

    "ididnotansweratthemoment;myheartwasswelling,andthebloodboilinginmyveins;butonreturningalongtheroad,myuncleswordswere,sotospeak,writtenupbeforemyeyes.irepeated,doforyourcountrywhatyouwoulddoforyourfatherandmother.andmycountryisindanger;anenemyattacksit,whilei——iturncupsandballs!

    "thisthoughttormentedmesomuchallnightthatthenextdayireturnedtovincennestoannouncetothelieutenantthatihadjustenlisted,andwasgoingofftothefrontier.thebravemanpresseduponmehiscrossofst.louis,andiwentawayasproudasanambassador.

    "thatishow,nei***or,ibecameavolunteerundertherepublicbeforeihadcutmywisdomteeth."

    allthiswastoldquietly,andinthecheerfulspiritofhimwholooksuponanaccomplisheddutyneitherasameritnoragrievance.

    whilehespoke,fatherchaufourgrewanimated,notonaccountofhimself,butofthegeneralsubject.evidentlythatwhichoccupiedhiminthedramaoflifewasnothisownpart,butthedramaitself.

    thissortofdisinterestednesstouchedme.iprolongedmyvisit,andshowedmyselfasfrankaspossible,inordertowinhisconfidenceinreturn.inanhourstimeheknewmypositionandmyhabits;iwasonthefootingofanoldacquaintance.

    ievenconfessedtheill-humorthelightofhislampputmeintoashorttimebefore.hetookwhatisaidwiththetouchingcheerfulnesswhichcomesfromaheartintherightplace,andwhichlooksuponeverythingonthegoodside.heneitherspoketomeofthenecessitywhichobligedhimtoworkwhileicouldsleep,norofthedeprivationsoftheoldsoldiercomparedtotheluxuryoftheyoungclerk;heonlystruckhisforehead,accusedhimselfofthoughtlessness,andpromisedtoputlistroundhisdoor!

    ogreatandbeautifulsoul!withwhomnothingturnstobitterness,andwhoartperemptoryonlyindutyandbenevolence!

    october15th——thismorningiwaslookingatalittleengravin*****framedmyself,andhungovermywriting-table;itisadesignofgavarnis;inwhich,inagravemood,hehasrepresentedaveteranandaconscript.

    byoftencontemplatingthesetwofigures,sodifferentinexpression,andsotruetolife,bothhavebecomelivinginmyeyes;ihaveseenthemmove,ihaveheardthemspeak;thepicturehasbecomearealscene,atwhichiampresentasspectator.

    theveteranadvancesslowly,hishandleaningontheshoulderoftheyoungsoldier.hiseyes,closedforever,nolongerperceivethesunshiningthroughthefloweringchestnut-trees.intheplaceofhisrightarmhangsanemptysleeve,andhewalkswithawoodenleg,thesoundofwhichonthepavementmakesthosewhopassturntolook.

    atthesightofthisancientwreckfromourpatrioticwars,thegreaternumbershaketheirheadsinpity,andiseemtohearasighoranimprecation.

    "seetheworthofglory!"saysaportlymerchant,turningawayhiseyesinhorror.

    "whatadeplorableuseofhumanlife!"rejoinsayoungmanwhocarriesavolumeofphilosophyunderhisarm.

    "thetrooperwouldbetternothavelefthisplow,"addsacountryman,withacunningair.

    "pooroldman!"murmursawoman,almostcrying.

    theveteranhasheard,andheknitshisbrow;foritseemstohimthathisguidehasgrownthoughtful.thelatter,attractedbywhathehearsaroundhim,hardlyanswerstheoldmansquestions,andhiseyes,vaguelylostinspace,seemtobeseekingthereforthesolutionofsomeproblem.

    iseemtoseeatwitchinginthegraymoustachesoftheveteran;hestopsabruptly,and,holdingbackhisguidewithhisremainingarm:

    "theyallpityme,"sayshe,"becausetheydonotunderstandit;butifiweretoanswerthem——"

    "whatwouldyousaytothem,father?"askstheyoungman,withcuriosity.

    "ishouldsayfirsttothewomanwhoweepswhenshelooksatme,tokeephertearsforothermisfortunes;foreachofmywoundscallstomindsomestruggleformycolors.thereisroomfordoubtinghowsomemenhavedonetheirduty;withmeitisvisible.icarrytheaccountofmyservices,writtenwiththeenemyssteelandlead,onmyself;topitymeforhavingdonemydutyistosupposeiwouldbetterhavebeenfalsetoit."

    "andwhatwouldyousaytothecountryman,father?"

    "ishouldtellhimthat,todrivetheplowinpeace,wemustfirstsecurethecountryitself;andthat,aslongasthereareforeignersreadytoeatourharvest,theremustbearmstodefendit."

    "buttheyoungstudent,too,shookhisheadwhenhelamentedsuchauseoflife."

    "becausehedoesnotknowwhatself-sacrificeandsufferingcanteach.

    thebooksthathestudieswehaveputinpractice,thoughweneverreadthem:theprinciplesheapplaudswehavedefendedwithpowderandbayonet."

    "andatthepriceofyourlimbsandyourblood.themerchantsaid,whenhesawyourmaimedbody,seetheworthofglory!"

    "donotbelievehim,myson:thetruegloryisthebreadofthesoul;itisthiswhichnourishesself-sacrifice,patience,andcourage.themasterofallhasbestoweditasatiethemorebetweenmen.whenwedesiretobedistinguishedbyourbrethren,dowenotthusproveouresteemandoursympathyforthem?thelongingforadmirationisbutonesideoflove.no,no;thetrueglorycanneverbetoodearlypaidfor!

    thatwhichweshoulddeplore,child,isnottheinfirmitieswhichproveagenerousself-sacrifice,butthosewhichourvicesorourimprudencehavecalledforth.ah!ificouldspeakaloudtothosewho,whenpassing,castlooksofpityuponme,ishouldsaytotheyoungmanwhoseexcesseshavedimmedhissightbeforeheisold,whathaveyoudonewithyoureyes?totheslothfulman,whowithdifficultydragsalonghisenervatedmassofflesh,whathaveyoudonewithyourfeet?totheoldman,whoispunishedforhisintemperancebythegout,whathaveyoudonewithyourhands?toall,whathaveyoudonewiththedaysgodgrantedyou,withthefacultiesyoushouldhaveemployedforthegoodofyourbrethren?ifyoucannotanswer,bestownomoreofyourpityupontheoldsoldiermaimedinhiscountryscause;forhe——heatleast——canshowhisscarswithoutshame."

    october16th——thelittleengravinghasmademecomprehendbetterthemeritsoffatherchaufour,andithereforeesteemhimallthemore.

    hehasjustnowleftmyattic.therenolongerpassesasingledaywithouthiscomingtoworkbymyfire,ormygoingtositandtalkbyhisboard.

    theoldartillerymanhasseenmuch,andlikestotellofit.fortwentyyearshewasanarmedtravellerthroughouteurope,andhefoughtwithouthatred,forhewaspossessedbyasinglethought——thehonorofthenationalflag!itmighthavebeenhissuperstition,ifyouwill;butitwas,atthesametime,hissafeguard.

    thewordfrance,whichwasthenresoundingsogloriouslythroughtheworld,servedasatalismantohimagainstallsortsoftemptation.tohavetosupportagreatnamemayseemaburdentovulgarminds,butitisanencouragementtovigorousones.

    "i,too,havehadmanymoments,"saidhetometheotherday,"whenihavebeentemptedtomakefriendswiththedevil.warisnotpreciselytheschoolforruralvirtues.bydintofburning,destroying,andkilling,yougrowalittletoughasregardsyourfeelings;and,whenthebayonethasmadeyouking,thenotionsofanautocratcomeintoyourheadalittlestrongly.butatthesemomentsicalledtomindthatcountrywhichthelieutenantspokeoftome,andiwhisperedtomyselfthewell-knownphrase,toujoursfrancais!ithasbeenlaughedatsince.peoplewhowouldmakeajokeofthedeathoftheirmotherhaveturneditintoridicule,asifthenameofourcountrywasnotalsoanobleandabindingthing.formypart,ishallneverforgetfromhowmanyfolliesthetitleoffrenchmanhaskeptme.when,overcomewithfatigue,ihavefoundmyselfintherearofthecolors,andwhenthemusketrywasrattlinginthefrontranks,manyatimeiheardavoice,whichwhisperedinmyear,leavetheotherstofight,andfortodaytakecareofyourownhide!butthen,thatwordfrancais!murmuredwithinme,andipressedforwardtohelpmycomrades.atothertimes,when,irritatedbyhunger,cold,andwounds,ihavearrivedatthehovelofsomemeinherr,ihavebeenseizedbyanitchingtobreakthemastersback,andtoburnhishut;butiwhisperedtomyself,francais!andthisnamewouldnotrhymewitheitherincendiaryormurderer.ihave,inthisway,passedthroughkingdomsfromeasttowest,andfromnorthtosouth,alwaysdeterminednottobringdisgraceuponmycountrysflag.thelieutenant,yousee,hadtaughtmeamagicword——mycountry!notonlymustwedefendit,butwemustalsomakeitgreatandloved."

    october17th——to-dayihavepaidmynei***oralongvisit.achanceexpressionledthewaytohistellingmemoreofhimselfthanhehadyetdone.

    iaskedhimwhetherbothhislimbshadbeenlostinthesamebattle.

    "no,no!"repliedhe;"thecannononlytookmyleg;itwastheclamartquarriesthatmyarmwenttofeed."

    andwheniaskedhimfortheparticulars——

    "thatsaseasyastosaygood-morning,"continuedhe."afterthegreatbreak-upatwaterloo,istayedthreemonthsinthecamphospitaltogivemywoodenlegtimetogrow.assoonasiwasabletohobblealittle,itookleaveofheadquarters,andtooktheroadtoparis,whereihopedtofindsomerelativeorfriend;butno——allweregone,orunderground.

    ishouldhavefoundmyselflessstrangeatvienna,madrid,orberlin.

    andalthoughihadalegthelesstoprovidefor,iwasnonethebetteroff;myappetitehadcomeback,andmylastsousweretakingflight.

    "ihadindeedmetmyoldcolonel,whorecollectedthatihadhelpedhimoutoftheskirmishatmontereaubygivinghimmyhorse,andhehadofferedmebedandboardathishouse.iknewthattheyearbeforehehadmarriedacastleandnofewfarms,sothatimightbecomepermanentcoat-brushertoamillionaire,whichwasnotwithoutitstemptations.

    itremainedtoseeifihadnotanythingbettertodo.oneeveningisetmyselftoreflectuponit.

    "letussee,chaufour,saiditomyself;thequestionistoactlikeaman.thecolonelsplacesuitsyou,butcannotyoudoanythingbetter?

    yourbodyisstillingoodcondition,andyourarmsstrong;doyounotoweallyourstrengthtoyourcountry,asyourvincennesunclesaid?whynotleavesomeoldsoldier,morecutupthanyouare,togethishospitalatthecolonels?come,trooper,youarestillfitforanotherstoutchargeortwo!youmustnotlayupbeforeyourtime.

    "whereuponiwenttothankthecolonel,andtooffermyservicestoanoldartilleryman,whohadgonebacktohishomeatclamart,andwhohadtakenupthequarrymanspickagain.

    "forthefirstfewmonthsiplayedtheconscriptspart——thatistosay,therewasmorestirthanwork;butwithagoodwillonegetsthebetterofstones,asofeverythingelse.ididnotbecome,sotospeak,theleaderofacolumn,butibroughtuptherankamongthegoodworkmen,andiatemybreadwithagoodappetite,seein*****earneditwithagoodwill.forevenunderground,yousee,istillkeptmypride.thethoughtthatiwasworkingtodomypartinchangingrocksintohousespleasedmyheart.isaidtomyself,courage,chaufour,myoldboy;youarehelpingtobeautifyyourcountry.andthatkeptupmyspirit.

    "unfortunately,someofmycompanionswererathertoosensibletothecharmsofthebrandy-bottle;somuchso,thatonedayoneofthem,whocouldhardlydistinguishhisrighthandfromhisleft,thoughtpropertostrikealightclosetoachargedmine.themineexplodedsuddenly,andsentashowerofstonegrapeamongus,whichkilledthreemen,andcarriedawaythearmofwhichihavenowonlythesleeve."

    "soyouwereagainwithoutmeansofliving?"saiditotheoldsoldier.

    "thatistosay,ihadtochangethem,"repliedhe,quietly."thedifficultywastofindonewhichwoulddowithfivefingersinsteadoften;ifoundit,however."

    "howwasthat?"

    "amongtheparisstreet-sweepers."

    "what!youhavebeenone——"

    "ofthepioneersofthehealthforceforawhile,nei***or,andthatwasnotmyworsttimeeither.thecorpsofsweepersisnotsolowasitisdirty,icantellyou!thereareoldactressesinitwhocouldneverlearntosavetheirmoney,andruinedmerchantsfromtheexchange;weevenhadaprofessorofclassics,whoforalittledrinkwouldrecitelatintoyou,orgreektragedies,asyouchose.theycouldnothavecompetedforthemonthyonprize;butweexcusedfaultsonaccountofpoverty,andcheeredourpovertybyourgood-humorandjokes.iwasasraggedandascheerfulastherest,whiletryingtobesomethingbetter.

    eveninthemireofthegutteripreservedmyfaiththatnothingisdishonorablewhichisusefultoourcountry.

    "chaufour,saiditomyselfwithasmile,afterthesword,thehammer;afterthehammer,thebroom;youaregoingdownstairs,myoldboy,butyouarestillservingyourcountry."

    "however,youendedbyleavingyournewprofession?saidi."

    "areformwasrequired,nei***or.thestreet-sweepersseldomhavetheirfeetdry,andthedampatlastmadethewoundsinmygoodlegopenagain.

    icouldnolongerfollowtheregiment,anditwasnecessarytolaydownmyarms.itisnowtwomonthssinceileftoffworkinginthesanitarydepartmentofparis.

    "atthefirstmomentiwasdaunted.ofmyfourlimbs,ihadnowonlymyrighthand,andeventhathadlostitsstrength;soitwasnecessarytofindsomegentlemanlyoccupationforit.aftertryingalittleofeverything,ifelluponcard-boxmaking,andhereiamatcasesforthelaceandbuttonsofthenationalguard;itisworkoflittleprofit,butitiswithinthecapacityofall.bygettingupatfourandworkingtilleight,iearnsixty-fivecentimes;mylodgingandbowlofsouptakefiftyofthem,andtherearethreesousoverforluxuries.soiamricherthanfranceherself,forihavenodeficitinmybudget;andicontinuetoserveher,asisaveherlaceandbuttons."

    atthesewordsfatherchaufourlookedatmewithasmile,andwithhisgreatscissorsbegancuttingthegreenpaperagainforhiscardboardcases.myheartwastouched,andiremainedlostinthought.

    hereisstillanothermemberofthatsacredphalanxwho,inthebattleoflife,alwaysmarchinfrontfortheexampleandthesalvationoftheworld!eachofthesebravesoldiershashiswar-cry;forthisoneitis"country,"forthat"home,"forathird"mankind;"buttheyallfollowthesamestandard——thatofduty;forallthesamedivinelawreigns——thatofself-sacrifice.tolovesomethingmorethanonesself——thatisthesecretofallthatisgreat;toknowhowtoliveforothers——thatistheaimofallnoblesouls.



 CHAPTER XI

    moraluseofinventories

    november13th,nineoclockp.m.

    ihadwellstoppedupthechinksofmywindow;mylittlecarpetwasnaileddowninitsplace;mylamp,providedwithitsshade,castasubduedlightaround,andmystovemadealow,murmuringsound,asifsomelivecreaturewassharingmyhearthwithme.

    allwassilentaroundme.but,outofdoorsthesnowandrainswepttheroofs,andwithalow,rushingsoundranalongthegurglinggutters;sometimesagustofwindforceditselfbeneaththetiles,whichrattledtogetherlikecastanets,andafterwarditwaslostintheemptycorridor.

    thenaslightandpleasurableshiverthrilledthroughmyveins:idrewtheflapsofmyoldwaddeddressing-gownaroundme,ipulledmythreadbarevelvetcapovermyeyes,and,lettingmyselfsinkdeeperintomyeasy-chair,whilemyfeetbaskedintheheatandlightwhichshonethroughthedoorofthestove,igavemyselfuptoasensationofenjoyment,mademorelivelybytheconsciousnessofthestormwhichragedwithout.myeyes,swimminginasortofmist,wanderedoverallthedetailsofmypeacefulabode;theypassedfrommyprintstomybookcase,restinguponthelittlechintzsofa,thewhitecurtainsoftheironbedstead,andtheportfolioofloosepapers——thosearchivesoftheattics;andthen,returningtothebookiheldinmyhand,theyattemptedtoseizeoncemorethethreadofthereadingwhichhadbeenthusinterrupted.

    infact,thisbook,thesubjectofwhichhadatfirstinterestedme,hadbecomepainfultome.ihadcometotheconclusionthatthepicturesofthewriterweretoosombre.hisdescriptionofthemiseriesoftheworldappearedexaggeratedtome;icouldnotbelieveinsuchexcessofpovertyandofsuffering;neithergodnormancouldshowthemselvessoharshtowardthesonsofadam.theauthorhadyieldedtoanartistictemptation:hewasmakingashowofthesufferingsofhumanity,asneroburnedromeforthesakeofthepicturesque.

    takenaltogether,thispoorhumanhouse,sooftenrepaired,somuchcriticised,isstillaprettygoodabode;wemayfindenoughinittosatisfyourwants,ifweknowhowtosetboundstothem;thehappinessofthewisemancostsbutlittle,andasksbutlittlespace.

    theseconsolingreflectionsbecamemoreandmoreconfused.atlastmybookfellonthegroundwithoutmyhavingtheresolutiontostoopandtakeitupagain;andinsensiblyovercomebytheluxuryofthesilence,thesubduedlight,andthewarmth,ifellasleep.

    iremainedforsometimelostinthesortofinsensibilitybelongingtoafirstsleep;atlastsomevagueandbrokensensationscameoverme.

    itseemedtomethatthedaygrewdarker,thattheairbecamecolder.

    ihalfperceivedbushescoveredwiththescarletberrieswhichforetellthecomingofwinter.iwalkedonadrearyroad,borderedhereandtherewithjuniper-treeswhitewithfrost.thenthescenesuddenlychanged.

    iwasinthediligence;thecoldwindshookthedoorsandwindows;thetrees,loadedwithsnow,passedbylikeghosts;invainithrustmybenumbedfeetintothecrushedstraw.atlastthecarriagestopped,and,byoneofthosestageeffectssocommoninsleep,ifoundmyselfaloneinabarn,withoutafireplace,andopentothewindsonallsides.isawagainmymothersgentleface,knownonlytomeinmyearlychildhood,thenobleandsterncountenanceofmyfather,thelittlefairheadofmysister,whowastakenfromusattenyearsold;allmydeadfamilylivedagainaroundme;theywerethere,exposedtothebitingsofthecoldandtothepangsofhunger.mymotherprayedbytheresignedoldman,andmysister,rolleduponsomeragsofwhichtheyhadmadeherabed,weptinsilence,andheldhernakedfeetinherlittlebluehands.

    itwasapagefromthebookihadjustreadtransferredintomyownexistence.

    myheartwasoppressedwithinexpressibleanguish.crouchedinacorner,withmyeyesfixeduponthisdismalpicture,ifeltthecoldslowlycreepinguponme,andisaidtomyselfwithbitterness:

    "letusdie,sincepovertyisadungeonguardedbysuspicion,apathy,andcontempt,andfromwhichitisvaintotrytoescape;letusdie,sincethereisnoplaceforusatthebanquetoftheliving!"

    anditriedtorisetojoinmymotheragain,andtowaitatherfeetforthehourofrelease.

    thiseffortdispelledmydream,andiawokewithastart.

    ilookedaroundme;mylampwasexpiring,thefireinmystoveextinguished,andmyhalf-openeddoorwaslettinginanicywind.

    igotup,withashiver,toshutanddouble-lockit;thenimadeforthealcove,andwenttobedinhaste.

    butthecoldkeptmeawakealongtime,andmythoughtscontinuedtheinterrupteddream.

    thepicturesihadlatelyaccusedofexaggerationnowseemedbutatoofaithfulrepresentationofreality;andiwenttosleepwithoutbeingabletorecovermyoptimism——ormywarmth.

    thusdidacoldstoveandabadlycloseddooraltermypointofview.

    allwentwellwhenmybloodcirculatedproperly;alllookedgloomywhenthecoldlaidholdonme.

    thisremindsmeofthestoryoftheduchesswhowasobligedtopayavisittothenei***oringconventonawintersday.theconventwaspoor,therewasnowood,andthemonkshadnothingbuttheirdisciplineandtheardoroftheirprayerstokeepoutthecold.theduchess,whowasshiveringwithcold,returnedhome,greatlypityingthepoormonks.

    whiletheservantsweretakingoffhercloakandaddingtwomorelogstoherfire,shecalledhersteward,whomsheorderedtosendsomewoodtotheconventimmediately.shethenhadhercouchmovedclosetothefireside,thewarmthofwhichsoonrevivedher.therecollectionofwhatshehadjustsufferedwasspeedilylostinherpresentcomfort,whenthestewardcameinagaintoaskhowmanyloadsofwoodhewastosend.

    "oh!youmaywait,"saidthegreatladycarelessly;"theweatherisverymuchmilder."

    thus,mansjudgmentsareformedlessfromreasonthanfromsensation;andassensationcomestohimfromtheoutwardworld,sohefindshimselfmoreorlessunderitsinfluence;bylittleandlittleheimbibesaportionofhishabitsandfeelingsfromit.

    itisnot,then,withoutcausethat,whenwewishtojudgeofastrangerbeforehand,welookforindicationsofhischaracterinthecircumstanceswhichsurroundhim.thethingsamongwhichwelivearenecessarilymadetotakeourimage,andweunconsciouslyleaveinthemathousandimpressionsofourminds.aswecanjudgebyanemptybedoftheheightandattitudeofhimwhohassleptinit,sotheabodeofeverymandiscoverstoacloseobservertheextentofhisintelligenceandthefeelingsofhisheart.bernardindest-pierrehasrelatedthestoryofayounggirlwhorefusedasuitorbecausehewouldneverhaveflowersordomesticanimalsinhishouse.perhapsthesentencewassevere,butnotwithoutreason.wemaypresumethatamaninsensibletobeautyandtohumbleaffectionmustbeillpreparedtofeeltheenjoymentsofahappymarriage.

    14th,sevenoclockp.m——thismorning,asiwasopeningmyjournaltowrite,ihadavisitfromouroldcashier.

    hissightisnotsogoodasitwas,hishandbeginstoshake,andtheworkhewasabletodoformerlyisnowbecomingsomewhatlaborioustohim.ihadundertakentowriteoutsomeofhispapers,andhecameforthoseihadfinished.

    weconversedalongtimebythestove,whilehewasdrinkingacupofcoffeewhichimadehimtake.

    m.rateauisasensibleman,whohasobservedmuchandspeakslittle;sothathehasalwayssomethingtosay.

    whilelookingovertheaccountsihadpreparedforhim,hislookfelluponmyjournal,andiwasobligedtoacknowledgethatinthiswayiwroteadiaryofmyactionsandthoughtseveryeveningforprivateuse.

    fromonethingtoanother,ibeganspeakingtohimofmydreamthedaybefore,andmyreflectionsabouttheinfluenceofoutwardobjectsuponourordinarysentiments.hesmiled.

    "ah!you,too,havemysuperstitions,"hesaid,quietly."ihavealwaysbelieved,likeyou,thatyoumayknowthegamebythelair:itisonlynecessarytohavetactandexperience;butwithoutthemwecommitourselvestomanyrashjudgments.formypart.ihavebeenguiltyofthismorethanonce,butsometimesihavealsodrawnarightconclusion.

    irecollectespeciallyanadventurewhichgoesasfarbackasthefirstyearsofmyyouth——"

    hestopped.ilookedathimasifiwaitedforhisstory,andhetolditmeatonce.

    atthistimehewasstillbutthirdclerktoanattorneyatorleans.hismasterhadsenthimtomontargisondifferentaffairs,andheintendedtoreturninthediligencethesameevening,afterhavingreceivedtheamountofabillatanei***oringtown;buttheykepthimatthedebtorshouse,andwhenhewasabletosetoutthedayhadalreadyclosed.

    fearingnottobeabletoreachmontargisingoodtime,hetookacrossroadtheypointedouttohim.unfortunatelythefogincreased,nostarwasvisibleintheheavens,andthedarknessbecamesogreatthathelosthisroad.hetriedtoretracehissteps,passedtwentyfootpaths,andatlastwascompletelyastray.

    afterthevexationoflosinghisplaceinthediligence,camethefeelingofuneasinessastohissituation.hewasalone,onfoot,lostinaforest,withoutanymeansoffindinghisrightroadagain,andwithaconsiderablesumofmoneyabouthim,forwhichhewasresponsible.hisanxietywasincreasedbyhisinexperience.theideaofaforestwasconnectedinhismindwithsomanyadventuresofrobberyandmurder,thatheexpectedsomefatalencountereveryinstant.

    tosaythetruth,hissituationwasnotencouraging.theplacewasnotconsideredsafe,andforsometimepasttherehadbeenrumorsofthesuddendisappearanceofseveralhorse-dealers,thoughtherewasnotraceofanycrimehavingbeencommitted.

    ouryoungtraveller,withhiseyesstaringforward,andhisearslistening,followedafootpathwhichhesupposedmighttakehimtosomehouseorroad;butwoodsalwayssucceededtowoods.atlastheperceivedalightatadistance,andinaquarterofanhourhereachedthehighroad.

    asinglehouse,thelightfromwhichhadattractedhim,appearedatalittledistance.hewasgoingtowardtheentrancegateofthecourtyard,whenthetrotofahorsemadehimturnhishead.amanonhorsebackhadjustappearedattheturningoftheroad,andinaninstantwasclosetohim.

    thefirstwordsheaddressedtotheyoungmanshowedhimtobethefarmerhimself.herelatedhowhehadlosthimself,andlearnedfromthecountrymanthathewasontheroadtopithiviers.montargiswasthreeleaguesbehindhim.

    thefoghadinsensiblychangedintoadrizzlingrain,whichwasbeginningtowettheyoungclerkthrough;heseemedafraidofthedistancehehadstilltogo,andthehorseman,whosawhishesitation,invitedhimtocomeintothefarmhouse.

    ithadsomethingofthelookofafortress.surroundedbyaprettyhighwall,itcouldnotbeseenexceptthroughthebarsofthegreatgate,whichwascarefullyclosed.thefarmer,whohadgotoffhishorse,didnotgonearit,but,turningtotheright,reachedanotherentranceclosedinthesameway,butofwhichhehadthekey.

    hardlyhadhepassedthethresholdwhenaterriblebarkingresoundedfromeachendoftheyard.thefarmertoldhisguesttofearnothing,andshowedhimthedogschaineduptotheirkennels;bothwereofanextraordinarysize,andsosavagethatthesightoftheirmasterhimselfcouldnotquietthem.

    aboy,attractedbytheirbarking,cameoutofthehouseandtookthefarmershorse.thelatterbeganquestioninghimaboutsomeordershehadgivenbeforeheleftthehouse,andwenttowardthestabletoseethattheyhadbeenexecuted.

    thusleftalone,ourclerklookedabouthim.

    alanternwhichtheboyhadplacedonthegroundcastadimlightoverthecourtyard.allaroundseemedemptyanddeserted.notatracewasvisibleofthedisorderoftenseeninacountryfarmyard,andwhichshowsatemporarycessationoftheworkwhichissoontoberesumedagain.

    neitheracartforgottenwherethehorseshadbeenunharnessed,norsheavesofcornheapedupreadyforthreshing,noraplowoverturnedinacornerandhalfhiddenunderthefreshly-cutclover.theyardwasswept,thebarnsshutupandpadlocked.notasinglevinecreepingupthewalls;everywherestone,wood,andiron!

    hetookupthelanternandwentuptothecornerofthehouse.behindwasasecondyard,whereheheardthebarkingofathirddog,andacoveredwallwasbuiltinthemiddleofit.

    ourtravellerlookedinvainforthelittlefarmgarden,wherepumpkinsofdifferentsortscreepalongtheground,orwherethebeesfromthehiveshumunderthehedgesofhoneysuckleandelder.verdureandflowerswerenowheretobeseen.hedidnotevenperceivethesightofapoultry-yardorpigeon-house.thehabitationofhishostwaseverywherewantinginthatwhichmakesthegraceandthelifeofthecountry.

    theyoungmanthoughtthathishostmustbeofaverycarelessoraverycalculatingdisposition,toconcedesolittletodomesticenjoymentsandthepleasuresoftheeye;andjudging,inspiteofhimself,bywhathesaw,hecouldnothelpfeelingadistrustofhischaracter.

    inthemeantimethefarmerreturnedfromthestables,andmadehimenterthehouse.

    theinsideofthefarmhousecorrespondedtoitsoutside.thewhitewashedwallshadnootherornamentthanarowofgunsofallsizes;themassivefurniturehardlyredeemeditsclumsyappearancebyitsgreatsolidity.

    thecleanlinesswasdoubtful,andtheabsenceofallminorconveniencesprovedthatawomanscarewaswantinginthehouseholdconcerns.theyoungclerklearnedthatthefarmer,infact,livedherewithnoonebuthistwosons.

    ofthis,indeed,thesignswereplainenough.atablewiththeclothlaid,thatnoonehadtakenthetroubletoclearaway,wasleftnearthewindow.theplatesanddisheswerescattereduponitwithoutanyorder,andloadedwithpotato-paringsandhalf-pickedbones.severalemptybottlesemittedanodorofbrandy,mixedwiththepungentsmelloftobacco-smoke.

    afterseatinghisguest,thefarmerlightedhispipe,andhistwosonsresumedtheirworkbythefireside.nowandthenthesilencewasjustbrokenbyashortremark,answeredbyawordoranexclamation;andthenallbecameasmuteasbefore.

    "frommychildhood,"saidtheoldcashier,"ihadbeenverysensibletotheimpressionofoutwardobjects;laterinlife,reflectionhadtaughtmetostudythecausesoftheseimpressionsratherthantodrivethemaway.isetmyself,then,toexamineeverythingaroundmewithgreatattention.

    "belowtheguns,ihadremarkedonentering,somewolftrapsweresuspended,andtooneofthemstillhungthemangledremainsofawolfspaw,whichtheyhadnotyettakenofffromtheironteeth.theblackenedchimneypiecewasornamentedbyanowlandaravennailedonthewall,theirwingsextended,andtheirthroatswithahugenailthrougheach;afoxsskin,freshlyflayed,wasspreadbeforethewindow;andalarderhook,fixedintotheprincipalbeam,heldaheadlessgoose,whosebodyswayedaboutoverourheads.

    "myeyeswereoffendedbyallthesedetails,anditurnedthemagainuponmyhosts.thefather,whosatoppositetome,onlyinterruptedhissmokingtopourouthisdrink,oraddresssomereprimandtohissons.

    theeldestofthesewasscrapingadeepbucket,andthebloodyscrapings,whichhethrewintothefireeveryinstant,filledtheroomwithadisagreeablefetidsmell;thesecondsonwassharpeningsomebutchersknives.ilearnedfromaworddroppedfromthefatherthattheywerepreparingtokillapigthenextday.

    "theseoccupationsandthewholeaspectofthingsinsidethehousetoldofsuchhabitualcoarsenessintheirwayoflivingasseemedtoexplain,whileitformedthefittingcounterpartof,theforbiddinggloominessoftheoutside.myastonishmentbydegreeschangedintodisgust,andmydisgustintouneasiness.icannotdetailthewholechainofideaswhichsucceededoneanotherinmyimagination;but,yieldingtoanimpulseicouldnotovercome,igotup,declaringiwouldgoonmyroadagain.

    "thefarmermadesomeefforttokeepme;hespokeoftherain,ofthedarkness,andofthelengthoftheway.irepliedtoallbytheabsolutenecessitytherewasformybeingatmontargisthatverynight;andthankinghimforhisbriefhospitality,isetoffagaininahastewhichmightwellhaveconfirmedthetruthofmywordstohim.

    "however,thefreshnessofthenightandtheexerciseofwalkingdidnotfailtochangethedirectionsofmythoughts.whenawayfromtheobjectswhichhadawakenedsuchlivelydisgustinme,ifeltitgraduallydiminishing.ibegantosmileatthesusceptibilityofmyfeelings,andthen,inproportionastherainbecameheavierandcolder,thesestricturesonmyselfassumedatoneofill-temper.isilentlyaccusedmyselfoftheabsurdityofmistakingsensationforadmonitionsofmyreason.afterall,werenotthefarmerandhissonsfreetolivealone,tohunt,tokeepdogs,andtokillapig?wherewasthecrimeofit?

    withlessnervoussusceptibility,ishouldhaveacceptedthesheltertheyofferedme,andishouldnowbesleepingsnuglyonatrussofstraw,insteadofwalkingwithdifficultythroughthecoldanddrizzlingrain.

    ithuscontinuedtoreproachmyself,until,towardmorning,iarrivedatmontargis,jadedandbenumbedwithcold.

    "when,however,igotuprefreshed,towardthemiddleofthenextday,iinstinctivelyreturnedtomyfirstopinion.theappearanceofthefarmhousepresenteditselftomeunderthesamerepulsivecolorswhichtheeveningbeforehaddeterminedmetomakemyescapefromit.reasonitselfremainedsilentwhenreviewingallthosecoarsedetails,andwasforcedtorecognizeinthemtheindicationsofalownature,orelsethepresenceofsomebalefulinfluence.

    "iwentawaythenextdaywithoutbeingabletolearnanythingconcerningthefarmerorhissons;buttherecollectionofmyadventureremaineddeeplyfixedinmymemory.

    "tenyearsafterwardiwastravellinginthediligencethroughthedepartmentoftheloiret;iwasleaningfromthewindow,andlookingatsomecoppicegroundnowforthefirsttimebroughtundercultivation,andthemodeofclearingwhichoneofmytravellingcompanionswasexplainingtome,whenmyeyesfelluponawalledinclosure,withaniron-barredgate.insideitiperceivedahousewithalltheblindsclosed,andwhichiimmediatelyrecollected;itwasthefarmhousewhereihadbeensheltered.ieagerlypointeditouttomycompanion,andaskedwholivedinit.

    "nobodyjustnow,repliedhe.

    "butwasitnotkept,someyearsago,byafarmerandhistwosons?

    "theturreaus;saidmytravellingcompanion,lookingatme;didyouknowthem?

    "isawthemonce.

    "heshookhishead.

    "yes,yes!resumedhe;formanyyearstheylivedtherelikewolvesintheirden;theymerelyknewhowtotillland,killgame,anddrink.thefathermanagedthehouse,butmenlivingalone,withoutwomentolovethem,withoutchildrentosoftenthem,andwithoutgodtomakethemthinkofheaven,alwaysturnintowildbeasts,yousee;soonemorningtheeldestson,whohadbeendrinkingtoomuchbrandy,wouldnotharnesstheplow-horses;hisfatherstruckhimwithhiswhip,andtheson,whowasmaddrunk,shothimdeadwithhisgun."

    16th,p.m——ihavebeenthinkingofthestoryoftheoldcashierthesetwodays;itcamesoopportunelyuponthereflectionsmydreamhadsuggestedtome.

    haveinotanimportantlessontolearnfromallthis?

    ifoursensationshaveanincontestableinfluenceuponourjudgments,howcomesitthatwearesolittlecarefulofthosethingswhichawakenormodifythesesensations?theexternalworldisalwaysreflectedinusasinamirror,andfillsourmindswithpictureswhich,unconsciouslytoourselves,becomethegermsofouropinionsandofourrulesofconduct.

    alltheobjectswhichsurroundusarethen,inreality,somanytalismanswhencegoodandevilinfluencesareemitted,anditisforustochoosethemwisely,soastocreateahealthyatmosphereforourminds.

    feelingconvincedofthistruth,isetaboutmakingasurveyofmyattic.

    thefirstobjectonwhichmyeyesrestisanoldmapofthehistoryoftheprincipalmonasteryinmynativeprovince.ihadunrolleditwithmuchsatisfaction,andplaceditonthemostconspicuouspartofthewall.whyhadigivenitthisplace?oughtthissheetofoldworm-eatenparchmenttobeofsomuchvaluetome,whoamneitheranantiquarynorascholar?isnotitsrealimportanceinmysightthatoneoftheabbotswhofoundeditboremyname,andthatishall,perchance,beabletomakemyselfagenealogicaltreeofitfortheedificationofmyvisitors?

    whilewritingthis,ifeelmyownblushes.come,downwiththemap!

    letusbanishitintomydeepestdrawer.

    asipassedmyglass,iperceivedseveralvisitingcardscomplacentlydisplayedintheframe.bywhatchanceisitthatthereareonlynamesthatmakeashowamongthem?hereisapolishcount——aretiredcolonel——thedeputyofmydepartment.quick,quick,intothefirewiththeseproofsofvanity!andletusputthiscardinthehandwritingofouroffice-boy,thisdirectionforcheapdinners,andthereceiptofthebrokerwhereiboughtmylastarmchair,intheirplace.theseindicationsofmypovertywillserve,asmontaignesays,matermasuperbe,andwillalwaysmakemerecollectthemodestyinwhichthedignityofthelowlyconsists.

    ihavestoppedbeforetheprintshanginguponthewall.thislargeandsmilingpomona,seatedonsheavesofcorn,andwhosebasketisoverflowingwithfruit,onlyproducesthoughtsofjoyandplenty;iwaslookingathertheotherday,whenifellasleepdenyingsuchathingasmisery.letusgiveherascompanionthispictureofwinter,inwhicheverythingtellsofsorrowandsuffering:onepicturewillmodifytheother.

    andthishappyfamilyofgreuzes!whatjoyinthechildrenseyes!

    whatsweetreposeintheyoungwomansface!whatreligiousfeelinginthegrandfatherscountenance!maygodpreservetheirhappinesstothem!

    butletushangbyitssidethepictureofthismother,whoweepsoveranemptycradle.humanlifehastwofaces,bothofwhichwemustdaretocontemplateintheirturn.

    letmehide,too,theseridiculousmonsterswhichornamentmychimneypiece.platohassaidthat"thebeautifulisnothingelsethanthevisibleformofthegood."ifitisso,theuglyshouldbethevisibleformoftheevil,and,byconstantlybeholdingit,themindinsensiblydeteriorates.

    butaboveall,inordertocherishthefeelingsofkindnessandpity,letmehangatthefootofmybedthisaffectingpictureofthelastsleep!

    neverhaveibeenabletolookatitwithoutfeelingmyhearttouched.

    anoldwoman,clothedinrags,islyingbyaroadside;herstickisatherfeet,andherheadrestsuponastone;shehasfallenasleep;herhandsareclasped;murmuringaprayerofherchildhood,shesleepsherlastsleep,shedreamsherlastdream!

    sheseesherself,againastrongandhappychild,keepingthesheeponthecommon,gatheringtheberriesfromthehedges,singing,curtsyingtopassers-by,andmakingthesignofthecrosswhenthefirststarappearsintheheavens!happytime,filledwithfragranceandsunshine!shewantsnothingyet,forsheisignorantofwhatthereistowishfor.

    butseehergrownup;thetimeiscomeforworkingbravely:shemustcutthecorn,threshthewheat,carrythebundlesoffloweringcloverorbranchesofwitheredleavestothefarm.ifhertoilishard,hopeshineslikeasunovereverythinganditwipesthedropsofsweataway.

    thegrowinggirlalreadyseesthatlifeisatask,butshestillsingsasshefulfillsit.

    by-and-byetheburdenbecomesheavier;sheisawife,sheisamother!

    shemusteconomizethebreadofto-day,havehereyeuponthemorrow,takecareofthesick,andsustainthefeeble;shemustact,inshort,thatpartofanearthlyprovidence,soeasywhengodgivesushisaid,sohardwhenheforsakesus.sheisstillstrong,butsheisanxious;shesingsnolonger!

    yetafewyears,andallisovercast.thehusbandshealthisbroken;hiswifeseeshimpineawaybythenowfirelesshearth;coldandhungerfinishwhatsicknesshadbegun;hedies,andhiswidowsitsonthegroundbythecoffinprovidedbythecharityofothers,pressinghertwohalf-nakedlittleonesinherarms.shedreadsthefuture,sheweeps,andshedroopsherhead.

    atlastthefuturehascome;thechildrenaregrownup,buttheyarenolongerwithher.hersonisfightingunderhiscountrysflag,andhissisterisgone.bothhavebeenlosttoherforalongtime——perhapsforever;andthestronggirl,thebravewife,thecourageousmother,ishenceforthonlyapooroldbeggar-woman,withoutafamily,andwithoutahome!sheweepsnomore,sorrowhassubduedher;shesurrenders,andwaitsfordeath.

    death,thatfaithfulfriendofthewretched,iscome:nothideousandwithmockery,assuperstitionrepresents,butbeautiful,smiling,andcrownedwithstars!thegentlephantomstoopstothebeggar;itspalelipsmurmurafewairywords,whichannouncetohertheendofherlabors;apeacefuljoycomesovertheagedbeggarwoman,and,leaningontheshoulderofthegreatdeliverer,shehaspassedunconsciouslyfromherlastearthlysleeptohereternalrest.

    liethere,thoupoorway-weariedwoman!theleaveswillservetheeforawinding-sheet.nightwillshedhertearsofdewoverthee,andthebirdswillsingsweetlybythyremains.thyvisitherebelowwillnothaveleftmoretracethantheirflightthroughtheair;thynameisalreadyforgotten,andtheonlylegacythouhasttoleaveisthehawthornsticklyingforgottenatthyfeet!

    well!someonewilltakeitup——somesoldierofthatgreathumanhostwhichisscatteredabroadbymiseryorbyvice;forthouartnotanexception,thouartaninstance;andunderthesamesunwhichshinessopleasantlyuponall,inthemidstofthesefloweringvineyards,thisripecorn,andthesewealthycities,entiregenerationssuffer,succeedeachother,andstillbequeathtoeachthebeggarsstick!

    thesightofthissadpictureshallmakememoregratefulforwhatgodhasgivenme,andmorecompassionateforthosewhomhehastreatedwithlessindulgence;itshallbealessonandasubjectforreflectionforme.

    ah!ifwewouldwatchforeverythingthatmightimproveandinstructus;ifthearrangementsofourdailylifeweresodisposedastobeaconstantschoolforourminds!butoftenestwetakenoheedofthem.

    manisaneternalmysterytohimself;hisownpersonisahouseintowhichheneverenters,andofwhichhestudiestheoutsidealone.eachofusneedhavecontinuallybeforehimthefamousinscriptionwhichonceinstructedsocrates,andwhichwasengravedonthewallsofdelphibyanunknownhand:

    knowthyself.



 CHAPTER XII

    theendoftheyear

    december30th,p.m.

    iwasinbed,andhardlyrecoveredfromthedeliriousfeverwhichhadkeptmeforsolongbetweenlifeanddeath.myweakenedbrainwasmakingeffortstorecoveritsactivity;mythoughts,likeraysoflightstrugglingthroughtheclouds,werestillconfusedandimperfect;attimesifeltareturnofthedizzinesswhichmadeachaosofallmyideas,andifloated,sotospeak,betweenalternatefitsofmentalwanderingandconsciousness.

    sometimeseverythingseemedplaintome,liketheprospectwhich,fromthetopofsomehighmountain,opensbeforeusinclearweather.wedistinguishwater,woods,villages,cattle,eventhecottageperchedontheedgeoftheravine;thensuddenlytherecomesagustofwindladenwithmist,andallisconfusedandindistinct.

    thus,yieldingtotheoscillationsofahalf-recoveredreason,iallowedmymindtofollowitsvariousimpulseswithouttroublingmyselftoseparatetherealfromtheimaginary;iglidedsoftlyfromonetotheother,andmydreamsandwakingthoughtssucceededcloselyupononeanother.

    now,whilemymindiswanderinginthisunsettledstate,see,underneaththeclockwhichmeasuresthehourswithitsloudticking,afemalefigureappearsbeforeme!

    atfirstsightisawenoughtosatisfymethatshewasnotadaughterofeve.inhereyewasthelastflashofanexpiringstar,andherfacehadthepallorofanheroicdeath-struggle.shewasdressedinadraperyofathousandchangingcolorsofthebrightestandthemostsombrehues,andheldawitheredgarlandinherhand.

    afterhavingcontemplatedherforsomemoments,iaskedhername,andwhatbroughtherintomyattic.hereyes,whichwerefollowingthemovementsoftheclock,turnedtowardme,andshereplied:

    "youseeinmetheyearwhichisjustdrawingtoitsend;icometoreceiveyourthanksandyourfarewell."

    iraisedmyselfonmyelbowinsurprise,whichsoongaveplacetobitterresentment.

    "ah!youwantthanks,"criedi;"butfirstletmeknowwhatfor?

    "wheniwelcomedyourcoming,iwasstillyoungandvigorous:youhavetakenfrommeeachdaysomelittleofmystrength,andyouhaveendedbyinflictinganillnessuponme;already,thankstoyou,mybloodislesswarm,mymuscleslessfirm,andmyfeetlessagilethanbefore!youhaveplantedthegermsofinfirmityinmybosom;there,wherethesummerflowersoflifeweregrowing,youhavewickedlysownthenettlesofoldage!

    "and,asifitwerenotenoughtoweakenmybody,youhavealsodiminishedthepowersofmysoul;youhaveextinguishedherenthusiasm;sheisbecomemoresluggishandmoretimid.formerlyhereyestookinthewholeofmankindintheirgeneroussurvey;butyouhavemadehernearsighted,andnowshehardlyseesbeyondherself!"thatiswhatyouhavedoneformyspiritualbeing:thenastomyoutwardexistence,seetowhatgrief,neglect,andmiseryyouhavereducedit!"forthemanydaysthatthefeverhaskeptmechainedtothisbed,whohastakencareofthishomeinwhichiplacedallmyjoy?shallinotfindmyclosetsempty,mybookcase,stripped,allmypoortreasureslostthroughnegligenceordishonesty?wherearetheplantsicultivated,thebirdsifed?allaregone!myatticisdespoiled,silentandsolitary!"asitisonlyforthelastfewmomentsthatihavereturnedtoaconsciousnessofwhatsurroundsme,iamevenignorantwhohasnursedmeduringmylongillness!doubtlesssomehireling,whowillleavewhenallmymeansofrecompenseareexhausted!"andwhatwillmymasters,forwhomiamboundtowork,havesaidtomyabsence?atthistimeoftheyear,whenbusinessismostpressing,cantheyhavedonewithoutme,willtheyevenhavetriedtodoso?perhapsiamalreadysupersededinthehumblesituationbywhichiearnedmydailybread!anditisthou-thoualone,wickeddaughteroftime——whohastbroughtallthesemisfortunesuponme:

    strength,health,comfort,work——thouhasttakenallfromme.ihaveonlyreceivedoutrageandlossfromthee,andyetthoudaresttoclaimmygratitude!

    "ah!diethen,sincethydayiscome;butdiedespisedandcursed;andmayiwriteonthytombtheepitaphthearabianpoetinscribeduponthatofaking:

    "rejoice,thoupasser-by:hewhomwehaveburiedherecannotliveagain."

    iwaswakenedbyahandtakingmine;andopeningmyeyes,irecognizedthedoctor.

    afterhavingfeltmypulse,henoddedhishead,satdownatthefootofthebed,andlookedatme,rubbinghisnosewithhissnuffbox.ihavesincelearnedthatthiswasasignofsatisfactionwiththedoctor.

    "well!sowewantedoldsnub-nosetocarryusoff?"saidm.lambert,inhishalf-joking,half-scoldingway."whatthedeuceofahurrywewerein!itwasnecessarytoholdyoubackwithbotharmsatleast!"

    "thenyouhadgivenmeup,doctor?"askedi,ratheralarmed.

    "notatall,"repliedtheoldphysician."wecantgiveupwhatwehavenotgot;andimakeitarulenevertohaveanyhope.wearebutinstrumentsinthehandsofprovidence,andeachofusshouldsay,withambroisepare:itendhim,godcureshim!"

    "mayhebeblessedthen,aswellasyou,"criedi;"andmaymyhealthcomebackwiththenewyear!"

    m.lambertshruggedhisshoulders.

    "beginbyaskingyourselfforit,"resumedhe,bluntly."godhasgivenityou,anditisyourownsense,andnotchance,thatmustkeepitforyou.onewouldthink,tohearpeopletalk,thatsicknesscomesuponusliketherainorthesunshine,withoutonehavingawordtosayinthematter.beforewecomplainofbeingillweshouldprovethatwedeservetobewell."

    iwasabouttosmile,butthedoctorlookedangry.

    "ah!youthinkthatiamjoking,"resumedhe,raisinghisvoice;"buttellme,then,whichofusgiveshishealththesameattentionthathegivestohisbusiness?doyoueconomizeyourstrengthasyoueconomizeyourmoney?doyouavoidexcessandimprudenceintheonecasewiththesamecareasextravaganceorfoolishspeculationsintheother?doyoukeepasregularaccountsofyourmodeoflivingasyoudoofyourincome?

    doyouconsidereveryeveningwhathasbeenwholesomeorunwholesomeforyou,withthesamecarethatyoubringtotheexaminationofyourexpenditure?youmaysmile;buthaveyounotbroughtthisillnessonyourselfbyathousandindiscretions?"

    ibegantoprotestagainstthis,andaskedhimtopointouttheseindiscretions.theolddoctorspreadouthisfingers,andbegantoreckonuponthemonebyone.

    "primo,"criedhe,"wantofexercise.youliveherelikeamouseinacheese,withoutair,motion,orchange.consequently,thebloodcirculatesbadly,thefluidsthicken,themuscles,beinginactive,donotclaimtheirshareofnutrition,thestomachflags,andthebraingrowsweary.

    "secundo.irregularfood.capriceisyourcook;yourstomachaslavewhomustacceptwhatyougiveit,butwhopresentlytakesasullenrevenge,likeallslaves.

    "tertio.sittinguplate.insteadofusingthenightforsleep,youspenditinreading;yourbedsteadisabookcase,yourpillowsadesk!

    atthetimewhentheweariedbrainasksforrest,youleaditthroughthesenocturnalorgies,andyouaresurprisedtofindittheworseforthemthenextday.

    "quarto.luxurioushabits.shutupinyourattic,youinsensiblysurroundyourselfwithathousandeffeminateindulgences.youmusthavelistforyourdoor,ablindforyourwindow,acarpetforyourfeet,aneasy-chairstuffedwithwoolforyourback,yourfirelitatthefirstsignofcold,andashadetoyourlamp;andthankstoalltheseprecautions,theleastdraughtmakesyoucatchcold,commonchairsgiveyounorest,andyoumustwearspectaclestosupportthelightofday.

    youhavethoughtyouwereacquiringcomforts,andyouhaveonlycontractedinfirmities.

    "quinto"

    "ah!enough,enough,doctor!"criedi."pray,donotcarryyourexaminationfarther;donotattachasenseofremorsetoeachofmypleasures."

    theolddoctorrubbedhisnosewithhissnuffbox.

    "yousee,"saidhe,moregently,andrisingatthesametime,"youwouldescapefromthetruth.youshrinkfrominquiry——aproofthatyouareguilty.habemusconfitentemreum!butatleast,myfriend,donotgoonlayingtheblameontime,likeanoldwoman."

    thereuponheagainfeltmypulse,andtookhisleave,declaringthathisfunctionwasatanend,andthattherestdependeduponmyself.

    whenthedoctorwasgone,isetaboutreflectinguponwhathehadsaid.

    althoughhiswordsweretoosweeping,theywerenotthelesstrueinthemain.howoftenweaccusechanceofanillness,theoriginofwhichweshouldseekinourselves!perhapsitwouldhavebeenwisertolethimfinishtheexaminationhehadbegun.

    butistherenotanotherofmoreimportance——thatwhichconcernsthehealthofthesoul?amisosureofhavingneglectednomeansofpreservingthatduringtheyearwhichisnowending?havei,asoneofgodssoldiersuponearth,keptmycourageandmyarmsefficient?shallibereadyforthegreatreviewofsoulswhichmustpassbeforehimwhoisinthedarkvalleyofjehoshaphat?

    darestthouexaminethyself,omysoul!andseehowoftenthouhasterred?

    first,thouhasterredthroughpride!forihavenotdulyvaluedthelowly.ihavedrunktoodeeplyoftheintoxicatingwinesofgenius,andhavefoundnorelishinpurewater.ihavedisdainedthosewordswhichhadnootherbeautythantheirsincerity;ihaveceasedtolovemensolelybecausetheyaremen——ihavelovedthemfortheirendowments;ihavecontractedtheworldwithinthenarrowcompassofapantheon,andmysympathyhasbeenawakenedbyadmirationonly.thevulgarcrowd,whichioughttohavefollowedwithafriendlyeyebecauseitiscomposedofmybrothersinhopeorgrief,ihaveletpassbywithasmuchindifferenceasifitwereaflockofsheep.iamindignantwithhimwhorollsinrichesanddespisesthemanpoorinworldlywealth;andyet,vainofmytriflingknowledge,idespisehimwhoispoorinmind——iscornthepovertyofintellectasothersdothatofdress;itakecreditforagiftwhichididnotbestowonmyself,andturnthefavoroffortuneintoaweaponwithwhichtoattackothers.

    ah!if,intheworstdaysofrevolutions,ignorancehasrevoltedandraisedacryofhatredagainstgenius,thefaultisnotaloneintheenviousmaliceofignorance,butcomesinpart,too,fromthecontemptuousprideofknowledge.

    alas!ihavetoocompletelyforgottenthefableofthetwosonsofthemagicianofbagdad.

    oneofthem,struckbyanirrevocabledecreeofdestiny,wasbornblind,whiletheotherenjoyedallthedelightsofsight.thelatter,proudofhisownadvantages,laughedathisbrothersblindness,anddisdainedhimasacompanion.onemorningtheblindboywishedtogooutwithhim.

    "towhatpurpose,"saidhe,"sincethegodshaveputnothingincommonbetweenus?formecreationisastage,whereathousandcharmingscenesandwonderfulactorsappearinsuccession;foryouitisonlyanobscureabyss,atthebottomofwhichyouheartheconfusedmurmurofaninvisibleworld.continuethenaloneinyourdarkness,andleavethepleasuresoflighttothoseuponwhomtheday-starshines."

    withthesewordshewentaway,andhisbrother,leftalone,begantocrybitterly.hisfather,whoheardhim,immediatelyrantohim,andtriedtoconsolehimbypromisingtogivehimwhateverhedesired.

    "canyougivemesight?"askedthechild.

    "fatedoesnotpermitit,"saidthemagician.

    "then,"criedtheblindboy,eagerly,"iaskyoutoputoutthesun!"

    whoknowswhethermypridehasnotprovokedthesamewishonthepartofsomeoneofmybrotherswhodoesnotsee?

    buthowmuchoftenerhaveierredthroughlevityandwantofthought!

    howmanyresolutionshaveitakenatrandom!howmanyjudgmentshaveipronouncedforthesakeofawitticism!howmanymischiefshaveinotdonewithoutanysenseofmyresponsibility!thegreaterpartofmenharmoneanotherforthesakeofdoingsomething.welaughatthehonorofone,andcompromisethereputationofanother,likeanidlemanwhosauntersalongahedgerow,breakingtheyoungbranchesanddestroyingthemostbeautifulflowers.

    and,nevertheless,itisbythisverythoughtlessnessthatthefameofsomemeniscreated.itrisesgradually,likeoneofthosemysteriousmoundsinbarbarouscountries,towhichastoneisaddedbyeverypasserby;eachonebringssomethingatrandom,andaddsitashepasses,withoutbeingablehimselftoseewhetherheisraisingapedestaloragibbet.whowilldarelookbehindhim,toseehisrashjudgmentshelduptheretoview?

    sometimeagoiwaswalkingalongtheedgeofthegreenmoundonwhichthemontmartretelegraphstands.belowme,alongoneofthezigzagpathswhichwindupthehill,amanandagirlwerecomingup,andarrestedmyattention.themanworeashaggycoat,whichgavehimsomeresemblancetoawildbeast;andheheldathickstickinhishand,withwhichhedescribedvariousstrangefiguresintheair.hespokeveryloud,andinavoicewhichseemedtomeconvulsedwithpassion.heraisedhiseyeseverynowandthenwithanexpressionofsavageharshness,anditappearedtomethathewasreproachingandthreateningthegirl,andthatshewaslisteningtohimwithasubmissivenesswhichtouchedmyheart.

    twoorthreetimessheventuredafewwords,doubtlessintheattempttojustifyherself;butthemaninthegreatcoatbeganagainimmediatelywithhisloudandangryvoice,hissavagelooks,andhisthreateningevolutionsintheair.ifollowedhimwithmyeyes,vainlyendeavoringtocatchawordashepassed,untilhedisappearedbehindthehill.

    ihadevidentlyjustseenoneofthosedomestictyrantswhosesullentempersareexcitedbythepatienceoftheirvictims,andwho,thoughtheyhavethepowertobecomethebeneficentgodsofafamily,chooserathertobetheirtormentors.

    icursedtheunknownsavageinmyheart,andifeltindignantthatthesecrimesagainstthesacredpeaceofhomecouldnotbepunishedastheydeserve,wheniheardhisvoiceapproachingnearer.hehadturnedthepath,andsoonappearedbeforemeatthetopoftheslope.

    thefirstglance,andhisfirstwords,explainedeverythingtome:inplaceofwhatihadtakenforthefurioustonesandterriblelooksofanangryman,andtheattitudeofafrightenedvictim,ihadbeforemeonlyanhonestcitizen,whosquintedandstuttered,butwhowasexplainingthemanagementofsilkwormstohisattentivedaughter.

    iturnedhomeward,smilingatmymistake;butbeforeireachedmyfaubourgisawacrowdrunning,iheardcallsforhelp,andeveryfingerpointedinthesamedirectiontoadistantcolumnofflame.

    amanufactoryhadtakenfire,andeverybodywasrushingforwardtoassistinextinguishingit.

    ihesitated.nightwascomingon;ifelttired;afavoritebookwasawaitingme;ithoughttherewouldbenowantofhelp,andiwentonmyway.

    justbeforeihaderredfromwantofconsideration;nowitwasfromselfishnessandcowardice.

    butwhat!haveinotonathousandotheroccasionsforgottenthedutieswhichbindustoourfellowmen?isthisthefirsttimeihaveavoidedpayingsocietywhatioweit?haveinotalwaysbehavedtomycompanionswithinjustice,andlikethelion?haveinotclaimedsuccessivelyeveryshare?ifanyoneissoill-advisedastoaskmetoreturnsomelittleportion,igetprovoked,iamangry,itrytoescapefromitbyeverymeans.howmanytimes,whenihaveperceivedabeggarsittinghuddledupattheendofthestreet,haveinotgoneoutofmyway,forfearthatcompassionwouldimpoverishmebyforcingmetobecharitable!howoftenhaveidoubtedthemisfortunesofothers,thatimightwithjusticehardenmyheartagainstthem.

    withwhatsatisfactionhaveisometimesverifiedthevicesofthepoorman,inordertoshowthathismiseryisthepunishmenthedeserves!

    oh!letusnotgofarther——letusnotgofarther!iinterruptedthedoctorsexamination,buthowmuchsadderisthisone!wepitythediseasesofthebody;weshudderatthoseofthesoul.

    iwashappilydisturbedinmyreveriebymynei***or,theoldsoldier.

    nowithinkofit,iseemalwaystohaveseen,duringmyfever,thefigureofthisgoodoldman,sometimesleaningagainstmybed,andsometimessittingathistable,surroundedbyhissheetsofpasteboard.

    hehasjustcomeinwithhisglue-pot,hisquireofgreenpaper,andhisgreatscissors.icalledhimbyhisname;heutteredajoyfulexclamation,andcamenearme.

    "well!sothebulletisfoundagain!"criedhe,takingmytwohandsintothemaimedonewhichwaslefthim;"ithasnotbeenwithouttrouble,icantellyou;thecampaignhasbeenlongenoughtowintwoclaspsin.

    ihaveseennofewfellowswiththefeverbatterwindmillsduringmyhospitaldays:atleipsic,ihadanei***orwhofanciedachimneywasonfireinhisstomach,andwhowasalwayscallingforthefire-engines;butthethirddayitallwentoutofitself.butwithyouithaslastedtwenty-eightdays——aslongasoneofthelittlecorporalscampaigns."

    "iamnotmistakenthen;youwerenearme?"

    "well!ihadonlytocrossthepassage.thislefthandhasnotmadeyouabadnurseforwantoftheright;but,bah!youdidnotknowwhathandgaveyoudrink,anditdidnotpreventthatbeggarofafeverfrombeingdrowned——foralltheworldlikeponiatowskiintheelster."

    theoldsoldierbegantolaugh,andi,feelingtoomuchaffectedtospeak,pressedhishandagainstmybreast.hesawmyemotion,andhastenedtoputanendtoit.

    "by-the-bye,youknowthatfromto-dayyouhavearighttodrawyourrationsagain,"resumedhegayly;"fourmeals,likethegermanmeinherrs——nothingmore!thedoctorisyourhousesteward."

    "wemustfindthecook,too,"repliedi,withasmile.

    "sheisfound,"saidtheveteran.

    "whoisshe?"

    "genevieve."

    "thefruit-woman?"

    "whileiamtalkingsheiscookingforyou,nei***or;anddonotfearhersparingeitherbutterortrouble.aslongaslifeanddeathwerefightingforyou,thehonestwomanpassedhertimeingoingupanddownstairstolearnwhichwaythebattlewent.and,stay,iamsurethisisshe."

    infactweheardstepsinthepassage,andhewenttoopenthedoor.

    "oh,well!"continuedhe,"itismothermillot,ourportress,anotherofyourgoodfriends,nei***or,andwhosepoulticesirecommendtoyou.

    comein,mothermillot——comein;wearequitebonnyboysthismorning,andreadytostepaminuetifwehadourdancing-shoes."

    theportresscamein,quitedelighted.shebroughtmylinen,washedandmendedbyherself,withalittlebottleofspanishwine,thegiftofhersailorson,andkeptforgreatoccasions.iwouldhavethankedher,butthegoodwomanimposedsilenceuponme,underthepretextthatthedoctorhadforbiddenmetospeak.isawherarrangeeverythinginmydrawers,theneatappearanceofwhichstruckme;anattentivehandhadevidentlybeenthere,anddaybydayputstraighttheunavoidabledisorderconsequentonsickness.

    asshefinished,genevievearrivedwithmydinner;shewasfollowedbymotherdenis,themilk-womanovertheway,whohadlearned,atthesametime,thedangerihadbeenin,andthatiwasnowbeginningtobeconvalescent.thegoodsavoyardbroughtmeanew-laidegg,whichsheherselfwishedtoseemeeat.

    itwasnecessarytorelateminutelyallmyillnesstoher.ateverydetailsheutteredloudexclamations;then,whentheportresswarnedhertobelessnoisy,sheexcusedherselfinawhisper.theymadeacirclearoundmetoseemeeatmydinner;eachmouthfulitookwasaccompaniedbytheirexpressionsofsatisfactionandthankfulness.neverhadthekingoffrance,whenhedinedinpublic,excitedsuchadmirationamongthespectators.

    astheyweretakingthedinneraway,mycolleague,theoldcashier,enteredinhisturn.

    icouldnotpreventmyheartbeatingasirecognizedhim.howwouldtheheadsofthefirmlookuponmyabsence,andwhatdidhecometotellme?

    iwaitedwithinexpressibleanxietyforhimtospeak;buthesatdownbyme,tookmyhand,andbeganrejoicingovermyrecovery,withoutsayingawordaboutourmasters.icouldnotendurethisuncertaintyanylonger.

    "andthemessieursdurmer,"askedi,hesitatingly,"howhavetheytaken——theinterruptiontomywork?"

    "therehasbeennointerruption,"repliedtheoldclerk,quietly.

    "whatdoyoumean?"

    "eachoneintheofficetookashareofyourduty;allhasgoneonasusual,andthemessieursdurmerhaveperceivednodifference."

    thiswastoomuch.aftersomanyinstancesofaffection,thisfilledupthemeasure.icouldnotrestrainmytears.

    thusthefewservicesihadbeenabletodoforothershadbeenacknowledgedbythemahundredfold!ihadsownalittleseed,andeverygrainhadfallenongoodground,andbroughtforthawholesheaf.ah!

    thiscompletesthelessonthedoctorgaveme.ifitistruethatthediseases,whetherofthemindorbody,arethefruitofourfolliesandourvices,sympathyandaffectionarealsotherewardsofourhavingdoneourduty.everyoneofus,withgodshelp,andwithinthenarrowlimitsofhumancapability,himselfmakeshisowndisposition,character,andpermanentcondition.

    everybodyisgone;theoldsoldierhasbroughtmebackmyflowersandmybirds,andtheyaremyonlycompanions.thesettingsunreddensmyhalf-closedcurtainswithitslastrays.mybrainisclear,andmyheartlighter.athinmistfloatsbeforemyeyes,andifeelmyselfinthathappystatewhichprecedesarefreshingsleep.

    yonder,oppositethebed,thepalegoddessinherdraperyofathousandchangingcolors,andwithherwitheredgarland,againappearsbeforeme;butthistimeiholdoutmyhandtoherwithagratefulsmile.

    "adieu,belovedyear!whomibutnowunjustlyaccused.thatwhichihavesufferedmustnotbelaidtothee;forthouwastbutatractthroughwhichgodhadmarkedoutmyroad——agroundwhereihadreapedtheharvestihadsown.iwilllovethee,thouwaysideshelter,forthosehoursofhappinessthouhastseenmeenjoy;iwilllovetheeevenforthesufferingthouhastseenmeendure.neitherhappinessnorsufferingcamefromthee;butthouhastbeenthesceneforthem.descendagainthen,inpeace,intoeternity,andbeblest,thouwhohastleftmeexperienceintheplaceofyouth,sweetmemoriesinsteadofpasttime,andgratitudeaspaymentforgoodoffices."

TXT小说天堂  http://www.xiaoshuotxt.com，最有文艺气息的文学网站，手机直接阅读下载请登陆http://m.xiaoshuotxt.com，所有TXT电子书手机免费下载阅读，我们提供给您的小说不求最多，但求最经典最完整